where have all the fit and interesting available men gone?

[aseriouslyblondemoment]

its just a thought which has been pondered upon by a few of us on here
as Lou 33 said if she knew the answer then she wouldn't be on MN

oh only Mine told me he loves me too - felt like my heart flipped over but toooo scared to let myself feel the same or say it back....and he understands

oh only Mine told me he loves me too - felt like my heart flipped over but toooo scared to let myself feel the same or say it back....and he understands

macdoodle and onlywantsome am pleased for you both!!

i think i am too bloody cynical to believe a word they say tbh, that maybe where i am going wrong?

yes but isnt that because despite wanting to believe them we find again and again that it is just a load of old bull

What are the characteristics of a good fit intresting man?

I could ask a similar question about trying to find a good fit intresting woman.

yes you could indeed n1

for me it has nothing to do with wanting to believe, it's simply because they all talk shit

am happy to be proven wrong, but as its the men i have stumbled over then that is going to be hard to disprove for anyone else

am glad to see that we have a male POV should make for some more interesting comments
good to me means honest,trustworthy,reliable,sincere,emotionally available etc
fit well there has to be attraction
interesting means shared interests,able to hold a decent conversation,knowledgeable,open minded etc.
i also like to be mentally challenged and need somebody especially sparky who has the same outgoing often silly sense of humour as me.
as i said am doing the online dating thing again and im very much sitting there just shaking my head at it all
and i must point out that i do not go on pics alone!
so N1 tell me where they all are?!

dont you find Lou that it reaches the point where you almost can't be bothered to even try to find out
the feeling of knowing that you are bound to be disappointed is almost overwhelming

I don't know where all the "good" single men went. I don't really look at men that way.

If I were classed as "good", I can say that it's not easy to find me because I find the amount of time I spent on dating websites so time consuming after a while that it's got to the point where I don't try very hard to look.

Apart from that, I should really be classed as bankrupt - so if someone did find me attractive, my financial situation would be enough to want to make any potential relationship run away.

aseriouslyblondemoment quote "....honest,trustworthy,reliable,sincere,emotionally available etc
fit well there has to be attraction
interesting means shared interests,able to hold a decent conversation,knowledgeable,open minded etc.
i also like to be mentally challenged and need somebody especially sparky who has the same outgoing often silly sense of humour as me.".

Most of that could be done via email, text and phone. It's obvious that the real life experience would feel better.

"where have all the fit and interesting available men gone?"

I'm here!!!!!

so i obviously dont have unreasonable expectations then?
i actually dont judge people on wealth and status it is very irrelevent to me
as a single mum on a limited income myself i might well be seen as having no potential for a relationship either by some

I can see the title of the post not getting an answer which satisfies most readers, so I might distract from the main topic slightly.

I would like to think that most single people have reasonable expectations. The more important point is the attraction, which is where looks move to being a first step. If you don't like the look of someone in a picture, are you reasonable going to want to meet them and see if things change? Probably not.

I don't see single parents with limited income as any disadvantage, they are maintaining themselves. I personally don't see having a load of debt as a disadvantage, but Can I fairly ask someone to accept a lower (shared) income because I have past debt problems?

Time is another problem for me. I work the most unusual hours and in my free time I help people to help them self in courts. Can I fairly ask a (other half) in a relationship to sometimes take a second place because helping another person with their court case takes a more important place for that period of time. Keep in mind that the court case (if I didn't help) might involve a family loosing their child to adoption. or - should I be ignoring the court case to keep "the other half" happy?

I can see plenty of potential for a relationship in a single stay at home parent who has limited income but I can't see me as being an attractive person based on my financial position and time chosen commitments.

thanks niceguy2
and yes i know you are!!

I forgot to add that I have a war-ing ex who erratically tries to stop contact (well she used to). There is nothing to stop her starting up her war-ing tactics. Can I fairly expect a new relationship to endure the war-ing side effects of a court case?

interesting about pics
i did meet a man who didnt have one on there
he just made me laugh so much that we carried on talking then texting
we then exchanged pics
and N1 if a woman is genuinely interested in you then she won't be deterred by your other commitments

Then I can answer the question that started this topic. If the man is genuinely interested in you then they won't be deterred by your circumstances.

I have had more than one relationship break down. Some of the break down was thanks to my commitments.

Perhaps the question should ask for the number of relationships a person needs to try before finding the "good" person.

how can i possibly answer that?
its one of life's great mysteries

I don't think there is an answer.

People get together, have a relationship and during a separation both get hardened and both get damaged. The more damage you gather, the less likely you want to have another relationship, conversely the more hardened you get about what you want to accept into your life.

asbm, yes i cant be bloody arsed to hear the blah anymore, i dont actively look now, i kind of stumble across people or they find me

N1, may i welcome you to the bankruptcy club

In actual fact someones financial status means bugger all to me, as i am not after their money or for someone to support myself or my kids, it's more the type of character they have and if i can find that elusive spark.

no no answer!!
i am emotionally in the right place
unfortunately seem to meet men who aren't
which begs the question why on earth they go on a dating site

I am not bankrupt yet, though I might as well be.

Emotionaly "in the right place" might be open to interpretation. Each person has their own version of what "in the right place" means to them.

I doubt you would find the person in the right state, I think the question is more along the lines of how far from the "right place" you are prepared to sway.

i did it in september, wish i hadnt put it off for so long, i can finally sleep at night

Lou agree as always
but then we are clones
i cant actively stumble either
as im now the only one of my girlfriends divorced so no longer go out as such with the girls
oh and mine wont matchmake either as they worry it will all go wrong!!
all i would like is the title of this thread
to go out with when i havent got my mummy hat on
not too much to ask is it?