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The Lone Parent Christmas Support Thread, if you are lonely come and join us, if you are not... come and help :-)

199 replies

MeMySonAndI · 29/11/2008 22:41

We are in the countdown to Christmas and I wonder how many of us will be on our own for the whole/part of the Christmas period.

Obviously, being away of the people we love in Christmas is enough to get down even the bravest of us, so, if you are starting to feel the Christmas blues, please come and join us, so we can go through this together. If you have gone trough this already and are in company this year, come and join us anyway. The idea is to try to go through this together.

Lets help each other not to feel alone this Christmas

OP posts:
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bamalan · 29/11/2008 23:07

I will be alone - aprt from my children. I;ve fallen out with my mum and my ex left quite a while ago - I'm hoping to find some friends on here.

UnfortunatelyMe · 29/11/2008 23:09

I think I am going to take up Harmans invite and launch myself and my kids on her for Xmas.
We will be 2 single miserable old cow bags with 6 hard to please children. Will be great

TortoiseRidesaReindeer · 29/11/2008 23:15

I will be alone apart from my 4 Dc. XP1 said i can have DS1 and DS2 here all of christmas day and he will do Boxing day. Very glad about that.

My parents and youngest brother live in Turkey.
My sister (about 6 miles away) doesn't talk to me.
My brother(2 mins down the road) is a up himself selfish twat!

So no visiters expected here anytime over Christmas.

Last year was OK but i got very lonely. I think part of it is wanting to share the fun of the day with someone else not just the kids.

OnceAPillockNowAnAngel · 29/11/2008 23:19

I've suggested my two go to fathers on christmas eve, I actually enjoy having the time to myself on a day when most mothers are running themselves ragged. Did the same 2 years ago and it was bliss, late sleep, long hot bath, day relaxing. They come home at about 4 and we have christmas dinner at about 5, then they're much calmer next day when I get time with them!

TortoiseRidesaReindeer · 29/11/2008 23:23

Wouldn't make any difference to me. DD1 and DD2 would still be here. They will see their Dad on the 16th Dec for an hour and a half supervised contact. Rest of the time they will be here.

MeMySonAndI · 29/11/2008 23:54

Well, I'm spending Christmas eve with exh, DS and a couple of friends, no idea what will happen on Christmas day, and then exh takes DS abroad with him for 2 weeks (this is the period that worries me more)

Although I exh and I are good friends, I miss the "being part of a family" aspect. More so because I had a new family for a while that I have now lost and I'm missing them miserably.

But hey ho, just another thing to go through

OP posts:
lou33 · 30/11/2008 01:34

will most probably be going to my sister for boxing day, and staying at home on xmas day with my kids, and possibly my new bf and a friend of mine

IllegallyBrunette · 30/11/2008 10:15

I will have the kids and my mum here, plus at least 1 brother i think.

Boxing day will just be me and the kids I think.

It is NYE I dread the most.

lou33 · 30/11/2008 12:57

i didnt go out nye really pre kids, so that doesnt bother me

OptimistS · 30/11/2008 13:43

I've got my friend and her daughter coming for dinner this year. I usually invite someone over each year. I think it's important to remember that you're never really alone if you've got children. And Christmas is primarily about them. Of course, it's different if your DC are too young to know what it's all about - then it can feel rather lonely and that you're simply going through the motions. My parents are both dead, my sister lives in Australia, and the rest of my family (a collection of elderly aunties/great aunties) live quite far away and will be spending Christmas with their children. I have been inviting friends around for years and we always have a great time. I'm lucky in many respects though as most of my friends are also single parents with no family nearby, so we all share a common bond and have a great time together. I love Christmas, always have. TBH my first year as a LP was great, because it was so nice to make it all about the kids and me rather than what he wanted. The atmosphere was more relaxed and way more enjoyable.

Christmas is about family and friends. If you've got your kids with you, you have the family that counts. I think it's a great idea for single parents to get together so you can enjoy other adult company. It's always worth finding out about LP groups in your area for this reason among many others. It would be great to have a loving husband around on Christmas Day, I admit, but remind yourself that many of these typical mum/dad/2.4 kid families will have the sort of day that starts in mum being run ragged trying to cater for everyone, dad buggering off down the pup for a Christmas drink before dinner, mum having to do all the washing up, kids getting fractious by 3pm, followed by a row between mum and dad by evening. I seem to have loads better Christmases than many married couples I know!

For those who kids are going off to the XP, I sympathise. I can't imagine anything more awful and I'd be really upset if that was me. All I can suggest is to get round a friend's house and take advantage of the fact that you can have a lie in, have a good drink, and be irresponsible.

teafortwo · 30/11/2008 14:06

A few weeks ago I was trying to find info on Christmas days out in London when I came across this article....

www.telegraph.co.uk/travel/destinations/europe/uk/londonandsoutheast/739044/Christmas-in-London.html

I think it is a really uplifting and idyllic and when I saw this thread I thought perhaps everyone here would like it too!!!

T42 - goes away to imagine a crazy Christmas in London with my bestfriend too!!!!!!!!! - Well we can all dream, can't we???

IllegallyBrunette · 30/11/2008 14:17

I didn't go out on new year pre kids either. It isn't not going out that bothers me. It's having no one else here to wish happy new year to.

brightwell · 30/11/2008 15:10

I'll be on my own...sort of, dc are with their dad, Christmas eve until Boxing Day. I'm working night duty Christmas Eve & Christmas Day so I'll be sleeping during the days. I'll be looking forward to them coming home Boxing Day afternoon and then I'm not back in work until New Year's Day.

singledadofthree · 30/11/2008 17:24

Christmas day will be me and the kids as ever. boxing day they go to their mums for the day, i usually roam the moors for the day.
nye i get the usual invites out and maybe drift from party to party - trying to pretend i'm happy being there on my own. come to think of it - i hate it - but have to be sociable - small village, lots of friends etc.

MeMySonAndI · 30/11/2008 20:30

Which moors are you near to?

For those of us in our own without the children, should we organise a virtual celebration.

Just like an online open house, I put my house and a turkey. (and a bit of insanity as a second course)

OP posts:
salo · 30/11/2008 21:01

optimist, that sounds great, really inspiring to hear you're making a great life for yourself & your kids. its easy to think that everyone else is having a great time...
i have invited my xh for lunch cos his parents & sister are buggering off on holiday (he cant afford to go), so cant bear the thought of him all alone (& my mum wont have him). plan is he can take out little one while i cook & have lined up some good videos for the afternoon...but he isnt sure whether he wants to come!! tbh i'll just be happy when it's all over!
singledad, wish i had 1 party to go to on nye, let alone a choice! still waiting to hear which moor you'll be on!

PurpleOne · 02/12/2008 00:11

My exh is a converted Jehovahs Witness, so no visits from him on Chrimbo day anymore. Not even any presents or a sodding card.
Christmas day isn't so bad with the pressie opening and copious amounts of bucks fizz in the morning on an empty stomach.
Our first proper lonely one last year, as we don't speak to my parents anymore. (used to go theirs for xmas) Cday was ok...but Boxing Day? DD2 was asleep by 9pm on her new rug on the floor. DD1 was on the computer or buried inside her new DS Lite.
Me? I was watching out the window and looking at everyone elses parties going on. It was just me and the Twiglets and a few bottles of wine. Moneys even tighter this year and have only bought 4 presents so far. Seems all my money is going on the gas/elec meters....Jees it's cold in here!

Don't even ask me about NYE. Put kids to bed early, got drunk, cried and went to bed. Parties? Never get invited. Never been to a works do, when I was working properly. I get a bottle of wine off the guy I clean for, so more of an excuse to get pissed!

Is there anyone local to London on here?

glitterfairy · 02/12/2008 08:24

Virtual christmas sounds good to me.

My sister and her kids will be coming up and I am cooking the turkey and taking it round to my dads for everyone. Sister doing lighterlife so she wont be eating which will be a little add.

TwoIfBySea · 02/12/2008 14:12

Once we return from my parents house (me doing the cooking of course) and the dts are tucked up in bed I'll be on my lonesome.

Sometimes I quite like the fact I can slouch out without anyone around. Sometimes it would be nice to snuggle. I thought someone I had met would be more than they turned out but hey ho, we are fine as a family of three.

Wait...I won't be alone, I'll have the pup and cat and goldfish!

MeMySonAndI · 02/12/2008 21:02

Ok, lets continue with the idea of the virtual Christmas Party and New Years Eve do.

If we are all together we can manage!

OP posts:
singledadofthree · 02/12/2008 22:12

memysonetc

i'm near - very near - the north york moors. on the northern edge where its cold n snowy. i will no doubt have a more than virtual white Christmas.

IllegallyBrunette · 03/12/2008 11:19

I have put my tree up

Never normally do it this early but I thought what the hell, so did it yesterday. The kids were really pleased to see it when they got home from school.

I am also very very close to finnishing my xmas shopping

missxvamp · 04/12/2008 14:32

i think ill be spending xmas alone wit my daughter. i have not even got ny prewsents or tree boz just cant afford it most my money is spent keeping the house lit up n warm so i really do struggle i wud go my sisters but i dnt know how that will turn out. my mum lives miles away n we dont speak my grandparets dont hardly tlk 2 me and my dad lives in usa and i have no friends either

Waspie · 04/12/2008 15:01

DS and I are spending Christmas day at my sisters which should be fun. She has a DS just two months younger than my DS. Our parents will be there too

Rest of the holiday we will be alone. not really looking forward to it. DS' father is supposed to see him at some point but, as always, he hasn't bothered deciding or telling me when so I'm very tempted just to say that he's left it too late and DS is fully booked for the entire holiday

MollieO · 04/12/2008 22:51

Christmas day with ds and my mum visiting for the day. NYE just the two of us so early night for me! Working between Christmas and New Year

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