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Lone parents

Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

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Original poster

The Lone Parent Christmas Support Thread, if you are lonely come and join us, if you are not... come and help :-)

199 replies

MeMySonAndI · 29/11/2008 22:41

We are in the countdown to Christmas and I wonder how many of us will be on our own for the whole/part of the Christmas period.

Obviously, being away of the people we love in Christmas is enough to get down even the bravest of us, so, if you are starting to feel the Christmas blues, please come and join us, so we can go through this together. If you have gone trough this already and are in company this year, come and join us anyway. The idea is to try to go through this together.

Lets help each other not to feel alone this Christmas

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

notevenamousie · 26/12/2008 21:56

NYE I don't find so hard as I have never enjoyed it much, when single or pre-motherhood, etc. But if it's half as grim as these past few days have been for me I will be here to support you.

I've had an ok day at work and I have a date for tomorrow night! I try and hide when I'm feeling sad but maybe it'll do me good to go out and be me, have a few hours truly "off". He's a fireman, we met online, I am quite excited!

I miss my girl though....

PurpleOne · 26/12/2008 23:19

Oh mousie...a DATe with FIREMAN. Hope he turns up in his uniform!!! Let us know how it goes won't you!

Hope your DD is feeling better usedtobethin?

SuperBunny · 26/12/2008 23:23

Ooo, notevena! How exciting. I was meant to be going on a date with a frenchman tomorrow but we postponed til next week. Hope your date goes well.

Used2b, hope DD is better

IllegallyBrunette · 26/12/2008 23:27

I hate NY and always get upset no matter how hard I try not to.

I have nothing planned, but am sure I overheard my brothers gf telling my mum that they are planning on coming here for nye . Funny thing is, she said 'to give emma a break' and that is so not what happens when they come, as I end up running around doing them drinks and stuff and when they have gone there is always loads of tidying up as they get loads of the kids stuff out with them.

Not only that, they are quite a lovey dovy couple and I really don't want that shoving in my face at that moment.

No excuse to give though as I definatly have nowhere I can go so will have to put up with it.

Am very jealous of all the dates going on on here Good luck with those though ladies

ShyBaby · 26/12/2008 23:40

Hi all. Its been a strange one for me this year. The kids dont seem to have noticed though which is good. Me, im on autopilot which is also good but a bit frightening because I know one day soon its going to switch off when I least expect it! Even my idiot ex being here Christmas Eve didn't bother me too much (well ok, for about an hour afterwards I felt strange but that was it).

Kids loved all their presents and they've had a great two days. New Years Eve i'm having a little get together here. I cant really bring myself to think any further forward than that at the moment!

used2bthin · 27/12/2008 14:12

Thank you she is much better, still catching up on sleep which has given me a bit of time to get on with clearing up the mess that is my flat but I've not got far! I am at the dates too, my online dating has come to nothing so far and I am on three sites! Hope you have good ones though you must report back, have fun!

notevenamousie · 27/12/2008 20:26

Am all a bit nervous and excited tonight - I have done distraught, angry, overworked and overtired and now excitable in just 3 days. Is it just me or are others on a rollercoaster? Can't wait to have my girl back, her toys and clothes do make me sad and wistful.

SuperBunny · 27/12/2008 20:39

Well done getting through the last 3 days, mousie.

Good news used2b

notevenamousie · 28/12/2008 17:58

How is everyone?
I will be so very pleased when my girl is back tomorrow. In other news I had a really good time last night - though I've not heard from him today. When can I ring him - not great at the etiquette! Hope all are ok.

SuperBunny · 28/12/2008 19:09

Oh mousie, well done! I'm rubbish at etiquette. I'd say text him to say thank you and leave it up to him to make the next move. I'd probably do it tonight because I am not very patient.

Enjoy having DD back.

ninah · 28/12/2008 19:13

glad you had a nice date mousie
We had lunch with ex and his rellies today, have been dreading and yes was fresh hell but it's OVER!!! like being released from jail

Pinkchampagne · 28/12/2008 21:46

I had a lovely day Boxing day with DP & his family, which helped make up for Christmas day. Still haven't spoken to my family members!

notevenamousie · 28/12/2008 21:58

Had an e-mail back from him, and am hopefully going out again next week which is about the right speed of things for me.
Have my mother arriving tomorrow for a week which can be stressful, but hoping it's all going to feel better with DD here.

Pinkchampagne · 28/12/2008 22:02

Sounds exciting, mousie! The date that is, not your mother arriving!!

Sakky · 28/12/2008 22:07

First Christmas since I separated from my husband. Been trying to put on a brave face for my little boy for months but as of Christmas Eve, I've been rapidly dissolving. I had no idea that it would be this hard at this time of year. Spent Christmas morn with ex at mine but not sure if I can endure it again - both tense and very sad. My son seemed to appreciate it though - that's most important thing. Rest of family absent and/or literally mad and friends all busy getting/being married. Just found this place to vent and realised that there are lots of people in the same boat...So...nice to meet you! Eureka (Halifax) is a good place to take small children and get distracted from your woes. It's open most holidays, even New Years Day

used2bthin · 29/12/2008 22:07

Just seen your message Sakky, hope you are feeling ok. Last year was my frst christmas with the added stress of being split with XP and it was difficult but this year was a bit easier partly because XP was better about everything.

Notevenamousie I think you have got your DD back today hope you had a lovely time together.

skramblenotdieting · 29/12/2008 23:35

My exH was supposed to have kids for 3 days/ 2 nights. Well didn't quite manage that did he. He only had them from lunchtime first day, he was working the second day , so I picked them up at first thing he got them back at 3.30. Thrid day he wanted to drop them off about 12, managed to negotiate midday. Turns out the kids were left playing the wii while he stayed in bed with his girlfreind having as DD describes "pillow fights", so I might have well picked them up at 10.

Nice for them to spend a couple of days with him , I even had to go practicly to his house to pick them up instead of the halfway point we usually meet at because "I am having a drink and don't want to drive far tomorrow" FFS you shouldn't be bloody driving then, I asked him who was looking after them at the party they all went to if he had so much to drink he could't drive at midday.

Argh!! I have at least another 9 years of this pissyness. Its always bloody something.

skramblenotdieting · 29/12/2008 23:36

Sorry got carried away thrid day he wanted to drop them off at 10am

used2bthin · 30/12/2008 08:24

Oh no poor you scramble, not the same at all but XP was meant to have DD ovrnight at minew while I went out with a friend then got some proper sleep to catch up. Then he was aking her to his mums the next day to see his family who were staying so I was getting a break till about lunch time. He got ill though so called me bak befoe 9am and invited his family to mine so insaed of my mrning off which I haven't had in I don't know how long, I ended up rushing about trying to tidy up a bit before they arrived then entertaining them while he slept in my bed! I know he was ill but all very frustrating!

elastamum · 30/12/2008 08:33

Hi All, Am back on my own now as H has taken the kids to his folks for new year. We have a fab christmas with my lot, 6 adults, 7 kids 2 mad dogs and one very stressed out cat! It was magical. Now on my own until after new year, am going to focus on clearing up the house. Christmas without H was a million times better than I thought it would be but am dreading new year My H also keeps trying to drop the kids off early so he can see his gf. So far every time he asks I have managed to be out

Deemented · 30/12/2008 08:47

TBH, i can't wait to get rid of this year, and will be staying up just to make sure it's gone.

This time last year we were looking forward to so much... never in a million years did i think that i'd be where i am now, and a lone parent. It was never in my plan.

skramblenotdieting · 30/12/2008 22:03

I am really going to make it different this year, I did do a bit last year but it was all still a bit new and fresh.

I did have a few new years resolutions like being more sociable and freindly especially at work.

This year I plan to mention exH as little as possible except in this topic where I can let rip.

I will not let exH's arseyness influence my life so much.

To get my own arse into gear and get my assignments done .

elastamum · 30/12/2008 22:10

Hi Skramble, Know just how u feel. Have just read a great book called leaving him behind which is all about cutting the ties with your ex so you too can move on, will be trying to put it all into action. I have finally got a job starting in the new year and an au pair coming to help out so hopefully my life will be on the up. Just got to get through the next few days, might be reaching for the sherry, anyone fancy a glass??

skramblenotdieting · 30/12/2008 22:42

I am also having a little tipple tonight, I am so tense and stressed right now, it is all in one big black tense ball above my head and in my spine, I can't even put my finger on it half the time, but if I give it two seconds I come up with hundreds of things.

My catch phrase right now is...

"ITS ALWAYS SOMETHING!!!"

exH is coming down on the second to his mums kids will be going round, exH expected them to be staying even though he is staying over with his GF, I asked where do you expect the kids to sleep he said onthe settee, as I live 2 mins away I said perhaps they could just come home late and sleep intheir own beds, they would be back round first thing as I am working anyway, he said fine, then later MIL on the phone, so to clarify things I said oh yes and the kids can come home late onthe 2nd, oh but why, I have camp beds for them blah blah blah, guilt, blah, it would be nice, blah blah.

All I could think of was DD telling me daddy didn't get up on sunday when they stayed at his and was having a "pillow fight" with GF , makes my stomach turn.

So ends up they will stay over as MIL has gone to the effort of getting the beds out, (well she let it slip they were down for an aunt anyway). My BF will be staying so perhaps I will have some "pillow fights" myself as my kids won't be in the house and won't actually have to listen.

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