The Lone Parent Christmas Support Thread, if you are lonely come and join us, if you are not... come and help :-)

[MeMySonAndI]

We are in the countdown to Christmas and I wonder how many of us will be on our own for the whole/part of the Christmas period.

Obviously, being away of the people we love in Christmas is enough to get down even the bravest of us, so, if you are starting to feel the Christmas blues, please come and join us, so we can go through this together. If you have gone trough this already and are in company this year, come and join us anyway. The idea is to try to go through this together.

Lets help each other not to feel alone this Christmas

PC - you weren't out of order at all. I am glad your exH stood up for you, though your parents mystify me (as do my own, but in different ways, IYSWIM). Enjoy your drink with your friend. You deserved to say what you think - maybe you should do it more often? I am sorry you are so sad though.

FAQ - the presents are the worst, aren't they? My dd's little kitchen is sat here and her dolly paraphernalia and I miss her all the more because of it.

I will be glad to go to work tomorrow, and then I will be nearly half way to seeing dd again. A lazy day was much needed today - though I still feel a bit guilty. Have had a couple of glasses of wine and so will probably fall asleep and tbh, that's the fastest way to get through all this.

it's horrible, I was doing ok - just rather trying to treat it liike any other weekend when has them, when they elave toys all over the floor when I leave.

It was more my brothers attitude, and the things he said that upset me

Just been to the shop, they did have some tobacoo - not my first choice, but it'll do.

Your brother is talking rubbish though, you know? Try and be kind to yourself if you can - bath, TV, etc, whatever you can't usually do. I know you don't drink on your own so won't suggest that - but will toast how well you have done this year to get you and your boys to where you are.

I know he's talking rubbish, that's why it hurts more, the fact that he's been fed lies

I've currently eating stodge - in the form of left over (reheated) spring rolls (vegetarian and duck), prawn skewers and mini hot dogs that we had for lunch earlier.

I do actually have one of those little bottles (piddle 1 1/2 glass sized ones) of wine that I bought myself just incase I felt like a drink

Think there's only about 1 and a bit glasses i one of those, so not much chance of me over doing it.

May have that later.

PinkChampagne (I used to be mamama), sorry you had such a crappy day. The whole thing sounds very unfair. Hope you have a nice evening with DP.

And for FAQ too. Being a lone parent at christmas is really hard without family making it worse. Sorry.

What I hadn't considered was DS coming back from his Dad's in a bad mood. Obviously overtired but refusing to nap, shouting at me and crying for no apparent reason and we're meant to be going to a friend's for dinner. If it were just her, I'd feel okay about it but there will be grandparents and all sorts. He's in his room playing with his new truck now so hopefully a bit of quiet time will help. Fingers crossed.

SB = hope he calms down soon.

Perhaps even if he's in a bad mood being in a group like that may keep him in an ok mood? I know my Ds's can be little shits terrors at home, we'll go somewhere and they're like little angels..........of cousre they revert to the former as soon as we're back home - but it at least makes being out easier.

and you know what else I'e just realised.

He claimed they rarely call him either. But then he asked if exH had changed his mobile, as apparently he'd sent them (my parents) a text by the time they got round to replying they couldn't get through on the number the text was sent from.

So obviously they've asked my brother to ring me to ask if he's changed his number - and within the last few days too

So they can ring him to find out from me, yet they can't pick up the phone/email to ask me direcctly?>????

Oh, DS was wonderful! Day turned out quite well

DS gave me nothing, which was no surprise. When he was with me in the week, I took him shopping and he chose a tiny photo frane to give to his Dad. When he gave it to him, his Dad shrugged and tossed it on the seat of the car without so much as a thank you. I had to bite my tongue

Do your children get their father a gift?

No they are not old enough to hit the shops yet.

Morning all

Sorry to hear about your days fAQ and PC. I think your outburts was probably well ovedue pc and you weren't in the wrong at all.

My kids woke up at 5:15 on xmas day . I eventually let them get up at 6:30 and it was manic from then on really.

Xp came over with their stuff and he had actually done really well for a change and not only got the things I had suggested, but other things that they like aswell. He also got me a fob watch off the kids for my new job, which made me think he had had a brain transplant for all of 5 seconds.

Can't remember who asked now, but I do get xp a pressie from the kids yes, only something cheap (smellies this year), and he always gets me something from them. I'd not bother tbh, but dd2 would hate to have nothing to give him.

I now have to find someway of rebuilding my living room. Ds is on the wii and both dd's are still in bed reading after I just took them toast and a cuppa. They are all off to xp's later so I might sneak on wii fit then.

Oh, and I had a Radley bag from my mum was so chuffed with that as I can use it for work.

Glad you had a good day, IB. I always get something for ex h from the boys, both for his birthday & Christmas. They got him a little bottle of whiskey with a whiskey glass this year. Glad your day was good too, Superbunny, and sorry to hear you also had a bad experience yesterday, FAQ.

I am home alone atm as boys are with ex h. They are all off round to my sister's later for a Boxing day get together, and I am seeing DP & going round to his sister's with him.
Not heard from my family today - I am probably in shame! I was so furious though as for one I hadn't even been the one to discipline DS, but they didn't even bother trying to find out why DS was upset, it just had to be my fault, and two, they are my children & if I had told him off on Christmas day then it is up to me! They shouldn't undermine me in front of my boys. I am also angry with BIL, who spent the entire day getting at me. One of his comments was how being married to me has probably been enough to turn ex h gay!! He said this in front of ex h, and he was running my DP down, when just yesterday DP gave them a nice bottle of champagne to celebrate my sister's pregnancy announcement. DP has only ever met them twice too, so I thought it was sweet of him. BIL hasn't even thanked him for it.

Not doing it next year, stuff them!!

God PC that's so hurtful of your BIL I am not surprised that you exploded combined with the other things. Resorting to insults about turning gay and insulting your new DP openly is really low.

It sounds as though you are very different to your family, your BIL and exH are similar and all of them feel threatened by you because you are different. Your new DP sounds great.

My family are not as nasty as that but I am different to them and they do like to undermine and criticise me. They would like to see me get my comeuppance IKSWIM.

Anyway I have had a really crap time because I have been ill since Monday with a really nasty fluey type thing. Still ill but slightly better today. Cough has broken and all sweaty but take that as a sign I am improving.LOL

Because of this not all of my last minute preparations came to plan and yesterday was hard. ExH to his credit, after initially saying it was not convenient to see DSs on Xmas Day (which upset me somewhat on their behalf) offered to have them if I really could not manage.

DSs were disappointed with their presents (they wanted a PS3 which I couldn't afford) but generally were OK all day, despite me taking to my bed for limited periods.

They have now gone to exH until Sunday. Today I am just going to take it easy may pop out for some juice or something.

Tomorrow evening I have a friend coming round so hope I am better for that.

Then next week am taking DSs to my parents for a couple of days.

Then back here for New Year.

ah that is a nasty bug thing wcl, do hope you feel better soon, lots of rest now you have time. What timing. Happy 2009

Oh you poor thing. It's horrible being poorly at Christmas. I hope you feel better soon.

I am not seeing my family at all today. Ex H stayed with them Christmas Eve & last night & is staying round my sister's tonight. Hope I have a better day today! DP is great & if it wasn't for him I would have cracked up long ago - he is the only thing that keeps me semi sane! He was on the phone immediately the second he knew I was upset yesterday.

My DP has just text to check I am ok, bless him. He said he has been worried about me. I haven't told him that BIL was being an arse, just mainly the bit about my parents. Thank goodness for my DP!

Hello everyone! I have just been told at work I shouldn't have "let" DD go to her dad's at Christmas - why do people have so much to say about what doesn't even concern them. It seems that you can try your very best to do things right and still get it all wrong. Am sad thinking of DD, exP, his new girlfriend with his family and here am I at work but am making resolutions for this not to happen again. I really hate Christmas.

I'm expecting my dc back home by 2pm, we're having presents and Christmas dinner later. Can't wait.

HI PC hope today was better. My ds opened the door by mistake to my X then got in a terrible state. FInally shouted fuck off at the top of his voice! My youngest is going overnight with him from 12 today till 12 tomorrow and she went off in tears because ds was so upset. Unfortunately my mum my young nephew and niece were also here so I told ds to apologise. My nephew responded with "I've heard that word before you know" we all laughed and had a nice rest of the day.

I have told ds that x will never hurt him again but just the sight of him now makes him nearly sick.

This is such a hard time for everyone.

notevenamousie, I think you are right - you will never be able to win even when you think you are doing the right thing. FWIW, I think you were very brave to accept that your DC would be with her father over christmas and I wish other people wouldn't comment on what you should/ shouldn't have done.

Hope everyone has a good weekend. I will be all alone since my plans fell through but I think it might be good for me.

Hope everyone is doing okay.

Had a very busy Xmas Eve, and Xmas day, I was awoken at 9
My DD's have been very festive this year and they are now at their dads house. He is a JW, so no decs, tree or Xmas dinner with daddy today. Makes me mad really, he used to love Xmas and enjoy decorating the tree with the DDs when we were married.

I am alone now until tomorrow morning. It was worse last year as I had not spoken to my parents, due to a pathetic misunderstanding on thier part. Spent NYE with my ex best mate - have since fallen out with her. Ringing me up, pissed and telling me how a shit mother I am and how I don't 'fucking care' (her words). We haven't spoken since.
Boxing Day last year was hellacious. This year it hasn't been so bad. However, NYE is going to be the killer now. This is the first year I've not done anything and stayed at home.

PO, I'll be home alone too on NYE. Just me and perhaps a sad glass of wine. I am dreading it. I don't know why. It's only one night.

I know it's only one night superbunny but there's something driven inside of my mind that pictures everyone elses parties . I even asked some of DD1's friends over so we could have a shitty buffet type thing, with a few bottles of WKD for them, some wine for me and some picky type food.

And everyone is busy / can't make it / recovering. (delete as appropriate)

Maybe we'll need a NYE support thread? I've never been alone on NYE, even with the DCs. Always gone to 'a house', music and copiuos amounts of alcohol etc etc.

I got such a bollocking off the family worker on Tuesday for putting DD2 to bed too late. (she's 11) Alright so it was 1am, but family worker told me to put her to bed at 10 during the holidays??? Yeah whatever.
In a selfish way, I keep the DD's up late so we can have fun (and company for me) DD1 is 13 and a half. So their not babies anymore.

So yeah I am bloody pissed off!

I think knowing that everyone else is out having fun or spending time iwth their families makes sitting home alone on NYE more depressing, doesn't it?

Sorry you are pissed off PO

We ended up in hospital after DD came home because she was throwing up! What a bad ending to christmas, came home about 11 this morning. She is shattered bless her but bit better. She had eaten loads at XPs so I thought it was just that but it seems to have been some sort of bug. She has medical SN hence needing hospital btw.

New years thread sounds good I think it will be just DD and me maybe my parents for a bit not sure. It is over rated anyway I never enjoy it when I do go out.