well I was doing ok since the boys left, until just now. Had been playing on the Wii.
Then my brother suddenly decided out of the blue to ring me to wish me a Happy Christmas. Apart from one email a month or so back to say he couldn't attend DS3's Christening the last time I heard from him was March 15th (the day after my birthday).
He used to ring me/us once a week (timing was often crap - ie just as I was getting the boys ready for bed, and we used to disagree about many things - but it they were still fairly lengthy conversatios.
Then nothing, no I know (via FB) that he's been down again with his depression. But even when he's been really low before he still used to call, and remember the DS's birthdays (even if it was just an e-card) etc.
Anyhow, conversation tonight started off ok, but then gradually started to deteriorate as it became more "family" oriantated. I was thrown excuse after excuse as to why my parents have barely contacted me, and the same for him (yes I know he's had depression too, but I also know he has issues with my marriage breaking up, and when I put it to him tonight he didn't disagree that he thought it was my fault) (actually I think exH and I agree it was mutual from both of us).
Anyhow the final straw when we came to talking about my parents and he's been fed bloody lies from them (claims they barely ring him as they've been having their problems too - yet he knew this).
Apparently I put the phone down on my mum (with her in tears) saying "don't call me I'll call you if I need you".
I corrected him that actually I had said those words, but back in April (or whenever it was I took the OD [sasd]) after my Dad came (despite me asking him not to) to see me, armed with a letter from my mum which said (in not so many words) that my marriage break-up was down to my poor housekeeping skills, which was her fault as she hadn't taught me properly (yes exH and I used to row about the housework frequently - but tbh there were much deeper issues).
I did also put the phone down her when she was in tears, after a huge blazing row with my dad when I was accused of being a liar, and numerous other things - but that was in AUGUST this year. So several months apart.
When I told him this I got a
"hmm, right ok" (in a very skeptical voice).
To which I said "oh you don't believe me" - followed by "happy christmas" and put the phone down on him, and burst into tears.
Apparently it's so much worse spending Christmas on your own (as he is) when you've got friends that would happily have invited you over (I've seen his comments on his facebook status updates) if you'd told them you'd be on your own. than it is when you're sitting there surrounded by your DC's presents, which at this time of the evening they'd still be playing with, with friends who had openly said they'd loved to have been able to invite me round but already had unchangleable plans.
I'm sure both are equally as bad but he was portraying it to me as if he'd pulled the shorter straw and I had nothing to be upset over.