Finding love again..

[LoveAgain]

Would love to hear from anyone that’s managed to find love again as a lone parent? Any success stories?

I wait til mine was 18 because I was very wary of bringing any man around but now I’m not sure if it was the right thing to do - I think I went a bit overboard waiting that long, but it was the right person for me and I’m very happy.

I have a few coworkers who were single parents and are in happy relationships, so it’s definitely not impossible.

How old are you children? That makes a difference

I have, met him online, but we discovered we had quite a few mutual friends via work which definitely made it easier
Somehow managed to hit the jackpot of finding a lovely man, in a secure job, with his own house and car
We’ve been together for about a year, he’s renting his house out and has moved in with us.

What way does it make a difference out of interest?

Ah that sounds great!

Think about it… Availability just for starters

Sitters would always be an option

He left when I was pregnant so 18 years would be a very long time.

But you don’t think the age of the children would impact the experience ?

yes you could arrange a sitter every single time you fancied getting together for a coffee, a spontaneous walk and lunch and then going into a cocktail etc

How old are they now?

It really is, we’re both so incredibly grateful we found love again

How his family describe the change in him is just lovely

How has that gone, the kids having a man living with them they’ve only known a year?

It’s just my 9 year old, she absolutely adores him

Within 1 year you have moved him into your children’s home and been trying for a baby with him for months according to all your past threads

FGS slow down

Obviously if they didn’t get on, he wouldn’t have moved in. If it ever doesn’t work he still has his house to go back to as well

I think it makes a difference because if they’re younger (under 7 say) I think it’s a lot easier to bring a new partner into their lives (talking long-term serious relationship obviously, not casual dating) and younger kids are more likely to be accepting of a new adult in their lives and have more of a chance to form a strong bond with them. Whereas if they’re teens it can be a lot more difficult imo. I was a teenager when my mum got a new partner and I never bonded with him, things were constantly a bit tense. Although I know that’s not everyone’s experience. I’m also dating with kids OP. My dc are 3 and 5 and yeah it’s challenging finding time to go on dates etc. so I tend to be quite picky with who I meet up with and chat for quite a long time to make sure a date’s really going to be worth my time. I’ve had a few short-term relationships, a few have been other single parents and I’ve found it’s something we’ve bonded over and they just get it in a way that people without kids don’t. No one’s ever been put off by the fact I have kids and the relationships I’ve had didn’t end because of anything to do with the kids, just weren’t the right people. I do think it’s harder but it’s far from impossible. Just gotta keep putting yourself out there and being positive and you will find the right person

Op, I have a partner of a year. We have four teens ages 13-17 between us.

We live separately and will do at least until the kids have grown up as they’ve had enough disruption in their young lives experiencing divorce and that last thing they need at their ages is living with step parents/ step silblings.

DP and I were absolutely aligned on this point from day 1 and I think that’s why our relationship works.

Realistically, how many men want to take on another man's child or children? Especially when it means having to deal with the ex (children's father) who may not be cooperative, especially when the mother finds a new partner. Just read the step-parenting boards on MN to see how it works out ........

Met DP but didn’t have much opportunity to see him, kids Dad an arse and no family nearby, so it was long messages to each other and afternoon dates once a week for quite a while. Then he began to stay overnights at weekends gradually but he didn’t move in until 5 years later. The relationship wasn’t a slow burner, we were serious from the start but managed with the circumstances and were happy with that. Friday nights were always lovely, we just chatted and chatted all evening as there was so much to catch up on. Been living together about 3 years now and it’s great, but I do miss the romance of the weekends and the grabbed opportunities, so I’d recommend taking it slow to anyone, just for that

No. It's the trenches. I met someone recently but ended because I realised he wasn't for me and he had a lot of issues.

It's not easy. Right now I don't see myself dating again anytime soon.

Are you a lone parent yourself?

I met my now fiance online a few years ago. My daughter was just 1 at the time! It worked as I have a good coparenting relationship and therefore had some free time to date. He is now the best stepdad anyone could ask for, we own a house and are getting married next year I did have to go on a few bad dates to find him though!!

You will find somebody OP if that is what you want. I certainly felt like no one would want a single mum like I was then but it’s not the case and I’ve seen success stories around me in the same situation too

Are you a single mother or did you just decide to come here to bash on single mothers? You don’t seem to have anything to say about single fathers in your comment.

Well, my adoptive Dad did over 60 years ago.