What am I entitled to?

[Mslongears]

Newly single after 10 years together, he suddenly went "funny" and stopped talking to me and coming home. So we are basically no contact, isn't interested in our son or unborn baby, so it's his loss.

I've only ever claimed PIP for my own disability, but never anything else so I don't know where to start. I'm 27, with a 3yr old and 16 weeks pregnant. Living in his parents home, but obviously I'll have to go into council. The wait time is approx 7-10 years in my area so I have no idea here I'll end up in the meantime which terrifies me. It also means I have to rehome all of my pets which are my lifeline currently. I have no savings, my monthly income is around £500 on PIP, but I believe this doesn't affect how much UC I'll receive. I'm classed as unfit to work, so I don't think I'll be expected to do job preparation according to my GP. Although this was several years ago so I don't know if things have changed. I won't be entitled to child maintenance as ex is solely cash in hand (not to mention being a massive tax dodger). He has no income on paper, and I'm not even going to bother to report this as I know they'll be on his side.

Can someone give me an idea on how much I'll be entitled do, and how to claim this as I know I'm going to really struggle with two young children and having to deal with council tax, rent etc. on my own. I've never lived alone before in my life so I'm terrified. I'm also rubbish with technology and would rather speak to someone face to face about my options, but I understand this probably isn't an option now days.

I never found raising my kids hard work but then I see raising children as a lifestyle choice not a job.
Meeting deadlines, my managers expectations and ensuring everything got done on time and correctly was much harder.
For the brief time's I wasn't working (when on annual leave) my health improved and I felt much more relaxed - everything went back down hill when I had to go back to work.

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Wait, what the actual fuck have I just witnessed here? This girl has come here asking for help on getting out, with no support or savings by the sounds of it. And NOBODY has mentioned how the dad is getting away with ditching his family after 10 YEARS. She clearly thought she had security after all that time. Seems as if you'd all let him get away with murder! But then again, single dads get all of the praise and support, while single mums are left to rot. Typical middle class mindset, get over yourselves! People claim benefits everyday for all kind of reasons, she's already said it's temporary until she builds her life up. Probably something she's never had to do, since I gather she's been in this relationship since just 17 years old. So how else is a young women supposed to find herself again with a baby and another on the way with nobody to help her through this? I don't see anything mentioning having a supportive family, so I doubt she'd be able to leave baby with them while she works. So now what? Make her suffer because the man she probably thought she'd spend her life with has told her to go, and it's all her fault?! No wonder the suicide rate has sky rocketed!!! OP, do what you can to support you and your children. And if that means going on benefits, that's exactly what it's there for. I bet all of these ignorant, stuck up posters have absolutely no problem with the boat people coming in and claiming everything they can. While god forbid our own people, especially single mums claim a penny

Why do you need to wait for free childcare? You can claim through UC for some of the costs of childcare until he's entitled to free care. Try agency work if you can't get a permanent job at the minute - your UC claim would be adjusted if your pay fluctuates and you could see where you fit best in a working environment.
Live is never easy for anyone but you need to stop making excuses for your life and step up for your kids sakes.

Lots of posters have slated the dad. Seems he has been avoiding paying tax for years and op has been complicit in that also as she has known about it.
many poster have told her to try to claim CM but obviously that won't be forthcoming if he is not declaring his earnings will it.

In terms of face to face support, you could speak with the citizens advice bureau or see if you have a local disability/benefits advisor via your local council. I've used both services in the past & they have been very helpful with applying for benefits & support such as adaptions to my home etc.

Ignore all the hateful comments.

If you haven't claimed UC before you probably won't know but yes you can claim childcare costs back via UC. You pay upfront & then claim 85% back. UC can sometimes help with the first payment or sometimes your local council will fund the first payment (at least mine did back when I was a single young parent).

I find it unbelievable that you are getting such a hard time. Not everyone can work unfortunately but it sounds like you are trying. UC also have specialist work coaches who help disabled people back into work. There's also a charity (although I'm Scotland so might just be here) called enable that help disabled people with children get into work. That being said, that's probably for the future, maybe after baby 2 is 1 year+

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5428758-free-stuff-if-on-uc-or-pip-or-money-saving-advice?utm_campaign=thread&utm_medium=app_share

Also check out this post which gives some a good advice about what things you can get on PIP/UC & some suggestions on budgeting etc

You are unfit to work but have another baby on the way and several pets to look after and expect people to pay for it?

A lot of posters on here would clearly welcome the return of work houses and homes for unmarried mothers 🙄 ignore them op.

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Did you even bother to read the whole post? Because if you did you'd see that the animals have gone/are going. She has applied for jobs but never got them so that shows he isn't just sitting on her ass expecting everyone to pay for her. I'm assuming her OH/ex OH financially supported them as if she was in a SAHM situation, while looking for work herself. It sounds as if this was all unexpected and I'm sure she didn't plan to have kids and animals if she knew she'd be here now, but life is such and there are people doing much worse to the system.

Op, like a previous poster suggested I'd delete your post promptly as it's bringing out the upper class morons. Good luck x

Believe it or not, disabled people can have children

And she had the support of her partner with child one & if I remember right the pregnancy was unplanned.

Unfit to work is a phrase from universal credit. The actual term is limited capacity for work & work related activity. It doesn't mean she can never work. It means she needs a specific job with her disability. With the right employer & support she might be able to work.

Yes i did manage to read the post, the OP said she is autistic and declared unfit to work . Looking after children is a huge strain on the body and mental health, so not sure how is she fit enough to give birth to children and look after them but is unfit to work.

She could've very well had lots of support from her OH looking after DC, maybe she had a very easy child, who knows?? She may very well find it very difficult to looking after two young children on her own. It's absolutely none of our business

These answers are brutal attacking a vulnerable woman too.

op,
firstly, do the online calculator, entitled to.
secondly, contact your local council and tell them you’re about to be made homeless as being evicted from your ex’s parents home.
thirdly, consider your pregnancy, if you wish to continue. At 16 weeks you have choices, it isn’t too late. I understand a difficult decision, but really consider if you wish to continue with this pregnancy , abortions are possible to 24 weeks in the uk, sadly it maybe better for you not to have another child and I don’t say that easily.

A lot of people want people to get off their butt's and stop expecting everyone else to pay for them.
Why is the OP's first question how much can I get in benefits rather than how can I best secure a job and childcare.

You accuse people of attacking a vulnerable woman then start going on about her having an abortion?

So it’s either workhouses or never working and popping kids out that other people have to pay for? They’re the only options, are they?

Who decides who is vulnerable?
That word gets bandied about far too much.
Her kids are vulnerable because they have a mother who doesn't want to pull her weight and wants the rest of us to do so instead.

Blaming the dad doesn’t magic away OP’s responsibilities. He’s a useless piece of shit but she also has responsibilities to face up to, and ultimately he didn’t start the thread.

I agree with you but realistically I I think op's chances are slim. No permanent home, two kids already, an absolutely dire job market that even non disabled people are struggling in and no childcare already lined up. It is going to be hard. I guess she is firstly just thinking of how she is going to get money to survive given how useless her ex seems to be.

Well said.

Just because you "can" have children does NOT mean you should.

Agree.

The softly softly approach hasn’t worked. We introduced these benefits as a safety net for people who truly couldn’t work through no fault of there own, not to enable people to make flippant life decisions knowing everyone else will pay if it goes tits up

You do realise there's a large waiting list for abortions. Someone said they had to wait 5 weeks for an appointment, so she'd be 21 weeks by then. Which is less than a week away from being viable. So I think that's quite disturbing suggesting she aborts at this stage, as if that will solve her problems. There are mental health consequences to consider too, especially aborting so late on. She will have to essentially give birth (and this is coming from someone who had a TFMR at 17 weeks). You have no place telling her what is best for her. It will be hard, but MILLIONS of women have survived alone with 4 or more children, even. They go on to find jobs and secure a home. Just because the legal limit is 24 weeks doesn't mean it's a good idea. I'm sure if she wanted to terminate she would've months ago

Or, how about we create a system why adults are expected to work by default, but a safety net exists for when people lose their job and need tiding over until they find another. We could call it jobseekers allowance. We’d have to have people to conduct interviews and stuff to make sure people were actually looking for jobs and not just lazing around, and also maybe people to assess those cases where people genuinely cannot work and will not be able to for the foreseeable future.
Or is it the kids part that’s got you all uptight? Cause we could go for forced abortions and sterilization of the poor and disabled? Wait, this is starting to sound a bit dystopian… Maybe we could just set up some safety nets for kids too instead of going all Brave New World or Handmaid’s Tale on society.

Surely that would present a problem when trying to obtain a mortgage for a house purchase?