What am I entitled to?

[Mslongears]

Newly single after 10 years together, he suddenly went "funny" and stopped talking to me and coming home. So we are basically no contact, isn't interested in our son or unborn baby, so it's his loss.

I've only ever claimed PIP for my own disability, but never anything else so I don't know where to start. I'm 27, with a 3yr old and 16 weeks pregnant. Living in his parents home, but obviously I'll have to go into council. The wait time is approx 7-10 years in my area so I have no idea here I'll end up in the meantime which terrifies me. It also means I have to rehome all of my pets which are my lifeline currently. I have no savings, my monthly income is around £500 on PIP, but I believe this doesn't affect how much UC I'll receive. I'm classed as unfit to work, so I don't think I'll be expected to do job preparation according to my GP. Although this was several years ago so I don't know if things have changed. I won't be entitled to child maintenance as ex is solely cash in hand (not to mention being a massive tax dodger). He has no income on paper, and I'm not even going to bother to report this as I know they'll be on his side.

Can someone give me an idea on how much I'll be entitled do, and how to claim this as I know I'm going to really struggle with two young children and having to deal with council tax, rent etc. on my own. I've never lived alone before in my life so I'm terrified. I'm also rubbish with technology and would rather speak to someone face to face about my options, but I understand this probably isn't an option now days.

17 years of being a parent (to an autistic child with other health issues) I am doing just fine.
Over 17 years of retail including shelf stacking made me want kill myself.
People just don't understand.

Are you saying that autistic people are unemployable? Lots of autistic people work, myself included. We are not allowed to bring our children into the workplace, maybe other employers allow that but it would in my opinion be grossly unfair to a child, unless it’s soft play but still, we are beyond the point here to your dilemma. Which is, bringing children into the world without adequate support. If you can’t afford to have another child then I don’t understand why you are

It won't be temporary - she has all the usual excuses doled out by those who don't want to work.
Leaving an abusive partner involves more than knowing what benefits to claim

She's said several times she wants to work. She's applied to jobs.

Thing is, OP didn't have the house, husband and decent job before a series of bad circumstances. (That is what the benefit system us for). She had none of those, so it should be on her shoulders to sort out the mess not the tax payer.

Yes everyone who is able bodied and claiming benefits ‘would love to work’ apparently

She can say and do the same when dealing with her job coach - doesn't mean its true.
If she really wants to work she could sign on with an agency and claim UC for top ups. She can find a child minder for her toddler until his free hours kick in- but she won't.

I just don't understand these comments, I really don't. If OP were a "scrounger", or any the other awful names she has been called on here, why hasn't she claimed all she could get before she even had her first? She hasn't claimed universal credit, and even if she did get a job she'd likely still need to claim it to help with rent, childcare etc. Why not get what you can, especially when kids are involved? I know plenty of single mums who have somewhat had to rely on benefits until the kids were of school age, then went on to become very successful business women. Surely that's what they're there for, to help people. But of course the majority of you are so perfect, nothing ever went tits up for you, meaning you never have to claim a penny. Also the one poster claiming OP is lying about the abuse, that is an extremely dangerous accusation. The amount of women killed because nobody believed them. I'm sure nobody throws around the term just for the fun of it

I just don't understand these comments, I really don't. If OP were a "scrounger", or any the other awful names she has been called on here, why hasn't she claimed all she could get before she even had her first?

The post is headed " what am I entitled to?". Is that not asking how to claim benefits?
OP is not asking for mortgage or investment advice.

She didn’t claim UC before as she didn’t want to draw attention to her spouse’s tax evasion. Not through benevolence.

I'm guessing they haven't claimed UC top up as her ex partner was fiddling the system by not paying tax in the first place. If they had claimed UC then he would have been called into the job center and asked to look for work if no earnings were being reported through HMRC. I guess they have tried to stay under the radar as would likely owe thousands more in unpaid tax than they would have got in benefits. Op has been complicit in this tax evasion for years. It's all a mess tbh. Even if op claims UC now they will ask on the application ( even if they have now split ) whether her and her partner have had earnings in the last nine months. This is to see if she will be exempt form the benefit cap. So what is she going to answer to that question I wonder?

Yes I’m amazed posters think she didn’t claim UC because she’s just a good person. She was avoiding being drawn into her partner’s tax evasion, which she knew about and was happy for him to cheat the system until it was her being cheated. She claimed PIP as its not means tested and wouldn’t be subject to fraud checks dependant on partner income. The number of staggeringly naive posters here is just incredible.

Not necessarily. She could've been asking what support she's entitled to, things like healthy start, free nursery (which clearly she's already aware of), help from shelter/Women's aid. I can't imagine she's all too clued up if she's never had to think about any of that, so what's the harm in asking? The problem is, a lot of people are jumping the gun here. Out of all of the posts asking for advice, whether that's regarding Universal credit, I have never seen the amount of judgement and abuse this poor woman has recieved. Why is this post any different to those? What if her story happened to be true, yet you're all denying it is. Being a single parent is hard enough, and we're very lucky to live in a country where there is an abundance of support to those who need it. So why should OP be treated any different, especially as she's never claimed before? Like I said before, if she were married she wouldn't be getting these awful replies. It goes to show most of you are still stuck in the 60s. Times have changed..

Did YOU miss the bit where the OP said he has left!

Op, what is the situation at your current place? Will the in-laws let you stay?

It depends where you are but housing is very challenging so likely you will be put in temporary housing. You say you can't stay with your parents but realistically this would be the best option. Do they not have a spare room for you? I honestly think this must be the longer term solution as if you haven't loved alone before you you may struggle with 2 children and managing a household, including finances.

I'm terms of work, did you try Retail or Cafe work?

People's anger is because the UK has an issue with some people setting their lives up so that the tax payers has to step in. That anger is understandable as when benefits are paid there is less to spend on the NHS and Education which would improve society for everyone.

@Mslongearsto answer your questions…
Can you stay in your home? If the answer is no then who ever owns it need to write you a letter saying you need to leave. You can generally apply online for council housing and then they may ask to see you. Get as much evidence as possible together.

with regard to UC you can apply online. You will need to go through a process if you say you are unable to work. How long is your PIP assessment for? As in, it is normally for a set amount of time? You will need to see the GP and given what you have going on I assume he will sign you off. I would focus on the immediate and not the long term. Yes, when the children are in nursery etc I would be looking for work and exploring options but I don’t think you need that added pressure.

We are a neurodivergent household and everyone works. I have never worked a job where there aren’t people with autism (diagnosed or not). I just think tackling the ‘I can’t’ Around working is not your priority. For example one works for Wetherspoons, one for M&S, one industrial, some teach.

You do need to apply for CMS. Whatever happens or whether he pays or not it’s the principle. You want to start a new life and the responsibility is not just yours for the children.

I wish you well.

No, I didn’t. She’s also living in her in-laws house. So to me there is no contradiction here. He partner has walked out on her and she’s pretty sure he’s no longer going to be financially supporting her or their children. But she’s still not safe from his financial or emotional abuse if she’s housed by his parents. It’s a mess.
The thing is, that berating her for having kids is only going to make her run away from you and your ´advice’. Because, as a mother, it comes across as quite threatening when someone is suggesting your child should never have been born and your unborn child should not be born!
Your way of thinking is also not actually a money saver for the state. Benefits that help people in crap situations find stability, with the hope of them being more independent long term, are a much cheaper solution that letting people crash and burn and paying for the fallout. The taxpayer helping OP with housing and food for her and her children together is cheaper than doing nothing and then having to deal with a crisis situation with them on the streets. And then think about the ongoing cost of the trauma of that experience! Stable childhoods with loving parents set kids up to be stable adults who contribute positively to society. Helping OP to look after her own children financially is miles cheaper than what it costs the taxpayer for two children to grow up in foster care, for example.

Talk about kicking someone when they're down - horrific comments here.

OP - you sound intelligent, eloquent and more capable than I think you think you are. I wish you lots of luck in getting yourself out of this hole and back on your own two feet. Times are changing with regards to ND in the workplace (there was a significant gorvernment report published late last year - https://www.gov.uk/government/publications/the-buckland-review-of-autism-employment-report-and-recommendations/the-buckland-review-of-autism-employment-report-and-recommendations - which will hopefully encourage different recruitment practices. Could you go back to 'school' and get some more qualifications once your toddler is at pre-school (although I know you'll then have a baby!)

Good luck!

I don't think Universal credit backdates money, so I would either start it make the actual claim ASAP. Only write true things and if you need help making the application, there are few places that offer assistance like the citizen advice bureau.

Do things one at a times. Make a list and tick it of as you go. Are your ex parents willing to house you and their grandchildren? If yes, sit down and discuss the new rules form now on.