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What am I entitled to?

146 replies

Mslongears · 16/10/2025 13:45

Newly single after 10 years together, he suddenly went "funny" and stopped talking to me and coming home. So we are basically no contact, isn't interested in our son or unborn baby, so it's his loss.

I've only ever claimed PIP for my own disability, but never anything else so I don't know where to start. I'm 27, with a 3yr old and 16 weeks pregnant. Living in his parents home, but obviously I'll have to go into council. The wait time is approx 7-10 years in my area so I have no idea here I'll end up in the meantime which terrifies me. It also means I have to rehome all of my pets which are my lifeline currently. I have no savings, my monthly income is around £500 on PIP, but I believe this doesn't affect how much UC I'll receive. I'm classed as unfit to work, so I don't think I'll be expected to do job preparation according to my GP. Although this was several years ago so I don't know if things have changed. I won't be entitled to child maintenance as ex is solely cash in hand (not to mention being a massive tax dodger). He has no income on paper, and I'm not even going to bother to report this as I know they'll be on his side.

Can someone give me an idea on how much I'll be entitled do, and how to claim this as I know I'm going to really struggle with two young children and having to deal with council tax, rent etc. on my own. I've never lived alone before in my life so I'm terrified. I'm also rubbish with technology and would rather speak to someone face to face about my options, but I understand this probably isn't an option now days.

OP posts:
Meadowfinch · 17/10/2025 18:16

Mslongears · 17/10/2025 17:56

My toddler isn't entitled to free nursery until January, so I don't know how it'll work around childcare. I'm guessing they'll find me somewhere willing to take me on otherwise what happens if I'm applying for lots of jobs and none want me? Do I just keep searching or is there a time limit?

OP, January is only a couple of months away. Start looking at nurseries in your town now. Look at child minders too. Get to know them. This is something you can do now, check out the council web site.

I suggest you talk to your ex's parents. They could give you notice to leave in the new year. They will have to physically evict you or the council will consider you adequately housed.

In the mean time, you could look for one of the seasonal jobs in the run up to Christmas. Will any of your toddler's DGPs look after them while you look for work? A few weeks work would at least give you a small fund to pay for things once you are housed. Talk to your GP about a 'not fit to work' note.

Depending on where you are, you are likely to end up in temporary accommodation, which is not good for you or your child. The more effort you make to improve your situation now, the better.

Harriet9955 · 17/10/2025 18:18

Meadowfinch · 17/10/2025 18:16

OP, January is only a couple of months away. Start looking at nurseries in your town now. Look at child minders too. Get to know them. This is something you can do now, check out the council web site.

I suggest you talk to your ex's parents. They could give you notice to leave in the new year. They will have to physically evict you or the council will consider you adequately housed.

In the mean time, you could look for one of the seasonal jobs in the run up to Christmas. Will any of your toddler's DGPs look after them while you look for work? A few weeks work would at least give you a small fund to pay for things once you are housed. Talk to your GP about a 'not fit to work' note.

Depending on where you are, you are likely to end up in temporary accommodation, which is not good for you or your child. The more effort you make to improve your situation now, the better.

Seasonal work is a good idea, everywhere seems to be advertising at the moment.

Meadowfinch · 17/10/2025 18:19

Mslongears · 17/10/2025 17:14

I've applied for jobs, I've been trialled for several jobs. I'm not what people want in their work place, so what else am I supposed to do to get on my feet, please do say..?

You need to keep trying, even if it takes years. The need isn't going away.

If you have no qualifications, look at commercial cleaning jobs, because the hours are often flexible. Will any of your child's relatives, care for them during evenings while you work?

Mslongears · 17/10/2025 18:27

Hellvellyn · 17/10/2025 18:16

I work with several autistic people. They all have successful jobs. Stop making excuses and stop having children. I am not in favour of abortion but I think it is incredibly reckless to have more children that you cannot afford.

I could afford them fine thank you, as my partner did financially contribute in order for me to stay at home with them. If I knew I was going to be in the position now I wouldn't have continued with the pregnancy, but obviously it's now too late so I've got to do the best with what I have

OP posts:
Mslongears · 17/10/2025 18:31

Hellvellyn · 17/10/2025 18:16

I work with several autistic people. They all have successful jobs. Stop making excuses and stop having children. I am not in favour of abortion but I think it is incredibly reckless to have more children that you cannot afford.

Also if you work with autistic people you should know that not one is the same, each one have their own struggles. So stop generalising it based on the "several" autistic people you work with

OP posts:
Mslongears · 17/10/2025 18:31

Hellvellyn · 17/10/2025 18:16

I work with several autistic people. They all have successful jobs. Stop making excuses and stop having children. I am not in favour of abortion but I think it is incredibly reckless to have more children that you cannot afford.

Also if you work with autistic people you should know that not one is the same, each one have their own struggles. So stop generalising it based on the "several" autistic people you work with

OP posts:
IndigoBluey · 17/10/2025 18:35

Great example of the dangers of being financial dependant on a man

Namechange822 · 17/10/2025 18:37

I’m sorry you’re getting such a bashing here. It feels unfair to me that everyone is criticising you when you’re the parent who is still there, trying to support her children, and they’re not criticising your partner who has stopped supporting his children.

If people have told you that your partner is abusive then the easiest way out here might be to go to a refuge with your children. Refuges are usually much nicer than you think they would be, and you get a lot of support with things like benefits, housing, jobs, child benefit, child maintenance etc.

If you call women’s aid, and tell them the things which are making people say that your partner is abusive, they will be able to let you know if you are eligible.

Laralou991 · 17/10/2025 18:46

OP you’ve possibly made some bad decisions but you really don’t deserve to be kicked when you’re already down. It sounds like you are on the way to making a good plan ie:
-rehoming the animals
-trying to work out the benefits you can afford
-you know that you can get free nursery in January

I’d honestly consider deleting the thread to save more abuse and continuing to plan out your options. Doesn’t look like you’re going to get much helpful advice on this thread

RaininSummer · 17/10/2025 19:06

Do you have qualifications? If not sign up for courses to get some. English and maths will be free. Can you do admin roles as civil service for instance will make a lot of reasonable adjustments. Can you build a dog walking business? Do you drive? Also you don't have to wait for free childcare. If on universal credit, you will receive a lot of help to pay childcare.

autumnevenings25 · 17/10/2025 20:09

Why do a dog walking course if you aren’t going to you know….dog walk?? It’s self employment so you are hiring yourself….why can’t you work in the field you found the money to pay courses for??

Needmorelego · 17/10/2025 20:15

autumnevenings25 · 17/10/2025 20:09

Why do a dog walking course if you aren’t going to you know….dog walk?? It’s self employment so you are hiring yourself….why can’t you work in the field you found the money to pay courses for??

Maybe the need for dog walkers simply wasn't there and she couldn't get any clients.
Who knows?

Middlechild3 · 17/10/2025 21:11

Mslongears · 17/10/2025 17:01

Just old clothes we don't wear, toys etc. I bought a secondhand cricut years ago and I tried making custom stuff on to sell on etsy but it's so over saturated which I didn't realise at the time. I also did a dog behavioural course to become a dog walker, did my animal care level 2 to do pet home boarding. Also several beauty courses (which turns out I was useless at). It's just finding someone who's happy to take me on being able to accommodate my needs. But obviously I won't be able to do anything now until I get free nursery funding so I've just made life really difficult for myself

what are your needs that need accommodating?

caringcarer · 17/10/2025 21:38

Harriet9955 · 17/10/2025 17:50

When you sign onto UC you will be allocated a work coach and job searching commitments will not be turned off until you are 28 weeks ( I think). This is unless of course you are going to go down the route of being assessed for work capability in which case your GP will need to agree to giving you a fit note. The government are currently putting a lot of extra support into getting disabled people into work.

I think you might have to wait 13 weeks before going onto Limited Capacity to work. You will probably be put into temporary accommodation if you are evicted. If you leave of your own accord that would be making yourself intensionally homeless.

NellieElephantine · 17/10/2025 21:41

PlayCertainGamesWinCertainPrizes · 16/10/2025 21:06

I’m a bit confused. You don’t cope well with stress but you have a child, several pets, another one on the way and only £500/month coming in? And live with his parents?

Who’s been sustaining all of this?

This, am assuming you were OK with his lifestyle and earning ways till you split? I won't be entitled to child maintenance as ex is solely cash in hand (not to mention being a massive tax dodger). He has no income on paper, and I'm not even going to bother to report this as I know they'll be on his side.

keepmeright · 17/10/2025 21:52

Universal Credit essentials is a charity, they have a website & can help you work out what you will be entitled to.

Do you get child benefits? If not, apply

Apply for universal credit asap. You'll get single person element, Chile element x1 but 2 when baby is born, LCW or LCWRA but the assessment takes a while (only LCWRA gets paid money), and help with some rent.

Apply to local council for council tax benefits.

Speak with woman's aid if it was an abusive relationship.

Apply for maintenance so that it's set up if his situation every changes. He will have to pay £7/week minimum so better than none. Every little helps

keepmeright · 17/10/2025 21:55

Also universal credit essentials has a forum similar to this. I would post there. You will get helpful advice with kindness/without judgement. Mumsnet is terrible for judging people who have disabilities/don't work.

autumn2025 · 17/10/2025 22:18

The comments on here are disgusting! 🤢

What the hell have I just read from other women on here? This poor lady was asking for help, she is not claiming UC and hasn’t done and yet you’re tarnishing her with the same brush! We don’t have children to expect to be left to do it all, we don’t think when we are little girls ‘ when I grow up I want to be a single parent and struggle’ life doesn’t always go the way we would like!

To literally have a go at someone for having another child, who is autistic, going to be homeless, has been left to it by their children’s father and is also pregnant is absolutely disgusting, so what OP needs to rely on benefits for a little while so she can get herself and her kids settled? That is what it is there for!!! She has said multiple times she has tried to find a job, start her own businesses and even gone back to college and done courses and you are STILL hammering at her!! Give her a fucking break!! 🤦🏼‍♀️

Not everyone has a happily ever after you know. It’s more common these days than it was back in my grand parents days, I don’t see you all making shitty comments about the sperm donor whose just up and left this poor woman too it while pregnant?
To say she should have thought about getting pregnant before hand is just unbelievable, hindsight’s a wonderful fucking thing isn’t it? I think a lot of us wish we had some sort of insight before we’ve made decisions in our lives but we learn from it. Why knock a woman down when she’s already feeling the stress and low about her situation as it is!

OP you can go online on the gov site and see what you might be entitled too, I would also get on the council housing list too, you may end up in a bit of a shit hole for a while but it’s a roof over yours and your child’s head, it’s a starting point and sometimes we have to start off low and build up, definitely get CMS involved whether he’s a tax dodger or a money fiddler they will find out trust me, they will eventually do a private investigation and catch him in the act they did with my ex husband. I would also report him to HMRC too. As for UC put a claim ASAP as you will need to start getting money and know what you can get so you can budget if that makes sense? You will get help towards rent too again you will have to ask UC because it’s different for all areas. Also get in touch with your local council as sometimes they can help with first months rent and deposit if they cannot house you.

Maybe you could start a business for the elderly? Where you are a companion? You go there do a little dusting, hoovering, empty bins and mop, and make a cup of tea/coffee and have a natter? If you love animals maybe start a pet sitting business where you advertise looking after people’s pets when they go away, so go in their home feed their cats for them, change litter trays etc you would be a lot cheaper than a cattery plus it’s doing something with animals.

As for your pets unfortunately you will have to rehome them I’m afraid, I know it sucks because I know pets become your family but for now your child and you are priority and there are plenty of people who would give them loving homes.

I hope you get yourself settled and sorted, it’s an awful situation for you to be in and I really feel for you. 🩷 but there is help out there just got to find it.

Girliefriendlikespuppies · 17/10/2025 22:26

You can apply for universal credit online so you need to start that process. You are likely to be significantly better off if you can work 17 hours a week so this is something to think on.

You need to speak to the council re housing, you are likely to be put into emergency housing and then can bid on properties online.

You will get some housing benefit to cover rent and be able to claim the single person discount on the council tax.

Gingernessy · 17/10/2025 22:41

Needmorelego · 17/10/2025 17:55

@Anthempart2 @Dreamypinkshoes My daughter is diagnosed autistic and it's made me realise that I probably am too.
I struggled with working when I had a job for various reasons.
I am much better in my own world raising my child.
It's a lot "easier" for me than working was.
(By the way I don't claim any UC because I am not entitled to any. Thankfully I married a decent guy who supports our family.
The OP unfortunately didn't. That's not her fault because no one really knows how their relationship can go. She presumably trusted him in the past and thought she'd be fine and have a future life with him)

Being in your own world raising your child is a lot easier than working for most of us and is nothing to do with being autistic.
Unfortunately for most of us it's not an option It' shouldn't be an option for the OP either.

keepmeright · 17/10/2025 22:50

@Gingernessybut it is an option for everyone. Everyone in the OP's situation can apply for UC. It is available as a fall back for everyone. If you aren't in her situation then happy days for you then eh 🙄 I'm sure OP would rather not be having health/life challenges, working, owning a home or renting with a secure tenancy, not claiming benefits or whatever else people on here seem to be acceptable

Neodymium · 17/10/2025 23:06

What’s the use of free childcare anyway? Won’t the baby be born by then?

it’s not really clear how he is abusive. Being ‘told’ to leave, told by who? If you were all living together and you said he was supporting you that doesn’t sound financially abusive?

Needmorelego · 18/10/2025 06:00

Gingernessy · 17/10/2025 22:41

Being in your own world raising your child is a lot easier than working for most of us and is nothing to do with being autistic.
Unfortunately for most of us it's not an option It' shouldn't be an option for the OP either.

My comment was in response to the comments like "if you can't work how can you raise a child... it's harder".
What I meant was for me it is actually easier. Being a mother is the biggest responsibility I have ever had in my life but still mentally easier to me than the jobs I had.
(If my circumstances changed and I needed to get a job then I would.)

PlayCertainGamesWinCertainPrizes · 18/10/2025 07:48

Gingernessy · 17/10/2025 22:41

Being in your own world raising your child is a lot easier than working for most of us and is nothing to do with being autistic.
Unfortunately for most of us it's not an option It' shouldn't be an option for the OP either.

lol thank you - there’s a reason so many people loved the break they got during the lockdowns, when normally no one would get a chance to have such an extended break from the rat race and stay at home with their kids.

(not saying the pandemic was good, everyone)

Gingernessy · 18/10/2025 10:40

keepmeright · 17/10/2025 22:50

@Gingernessybut it is an option for everyone. Everyone in the OP's situation can apply for UC. It is available as a fall back for everyone. If you aren't in her situation then happy days for you then eh 🙄 I'm sure OP would rather not be having health/life challenges, working, owning a home or renting with a secure tenancy, not claiming benefits or whatever else people on here seem to be acceptable

Many in her situation are refused help and made to jump through hoops.
Many working people have chronic conditions that other people claim benefits for.
Bottom line is everyone on benefits should be aiming to be self sufficient - obviously some really can't but many could.
Thd OP seems to be one of those who can do everything except work - a common occurance in Britain today