What am I entitled to?

[Mslongears]

Newly single after 10 years together, he suddenly went "funny" and stopped talking to me and coming home. So we are basically no contact, isn't interested in our son or unborn baby, so it's his loss.

I've only ever claimed PIP for my own disability, but never anything else so I don't know where to start. I'm 27, with a 3yr old and 16 weeks pregnant. Living in his parents home, but obviously I'll have to go into council. The wait time is approx 7-10 years in my area so I have no idea here I'll end up in the meantime which terrifies me. It also means I have to rehome all of my pets which are my lifeline currently. I have no savings, my monthly income is around £500 on PIP, but I believe this doesn't affect how much UC I'll receive. I'm classed as unfit to work, so I don't think I'll be expected to do job preparation according to my GP. Although this was several years ago so I don't know if things have changed. I won't be entitled to child maintenance as ex is solely cash in hand (not to mention being a massive tax dodger). He has no income on paper, and I'm not even going to bother to report this as I know they'll be on his side.

Can someone give me an idea on how much I'll be entitled do, and how to claim this as I know I'm going to really struggle with two young children and having to deal with council tax, rent etc. on my own. I've never lived alone before in my life so I'm terrified. I'm also rubbish with technology and would rather speak to someone face to face about my options, but I understand this probably isn't an option now days.

You seem really eloquent and literate. And you’re capable enough to raise a child and look after pets. Could you really not stack shelves on a supermarket or something? I find that really hard to believe. So us taxpayers are going to be paying for your kids for the next 18 years? Can you see why some people might feel annoyed?

Did you miss the part where OP said she's been applying for jobs? I'm sure if it was that easy to get a job she would have gained one by now. I'm sure this hasn't all happened by choice. I'm sure if she were a married SAHM no one would be ripping her to shreds like this. Plus I'd imagine she'd still need to claim UC even with a job, so either way she's losing to most of you..

ask your midwife for help. You can apply for uc. His parents will need to formally evict you for you to be classed as homeless then you’ll be a priority for social housing and skip the queue or be put up in a hotel while you wait. Or you will get universal credit to pay a private rental. Claimchild benefit and universal credit now.

I haven’t read all 200 comments but I read the bit when the OP said she is deemed unfit to work and her ex partner works cash in hand so not only pays no tax, also can’t or won’t be paying any child maintenance.

Ps report your ex to hm revenue and customs for tax evasion which evidence of him working eg if he has business cards or website etc

Look this isn’t about our feelings on abortion, and I am not going to enter a debate on the rights and wrongs. This is about a vulnerable woman who is about to be homeless, who already has one child and was in an abusive relationship, so quite frankly yes, terminating the pregnancy maybe the best outcome here, it is legally acceptable until, 24 weeks, abortion wait times are different across the country, and she needs to do what is best in the circumstances, not engage in some pro life discussion and your personal feelings on it, as it’s not you who will be living in a temporary hostel with a toddler and a new born,

if you are too disabled to hold down a basic job, how do you raise 2 kids ? It’s madness.

Put in a claim for UC now, it takes a bit of time and is paid in arrears.
Approach your council and say you are homeless, they have a duty to house you albeit in temporary accommodation. You might be able to get help with a deposit to rent, and UC will cover the LHA amount that you’re eligible for.
you usually have to send in 3 sick notes to trigger a LCWRA assessment, so go to you doctor and start sending to UC asap.

ignore all the judgment and take care of you ❤️

This is the problem with working cash in hand though - op wasn’t complaining when she was benefitting from her partner not paying tax.

so you have a family who pays nothing into the country, now split where on still isn’t paying in and the other is taking out by benefits.

I haven’t read the whole thread so apologies if repeating what’s already been said , but you don’t just walk into a councik house these days , you’ll be encouraged / forced to private rent . Council have waiting lists of years.

Absolutely. She wasn’t complaining when she was profiting from him not paying tax, the same tax which she now wants to pay for her benefits.

Did you miss the part where she needs to leave him because he is emotionally and financially abusive. There’s not a lot of point in berating OP for her ex’s poor financial behavior. If she had any influence or control over that then maybe she wouldn’t need to flee the relationship because he’s financially abusive!

Look, every OP who writes such a thread says their ex was abusive. I don’t know whether he was or he wasn’t- but if the state intervened every single time to provide housing and fund their lifestyle, the state would be skint. In fact it does and that’s why our benefits bill is terrifying. I don’t feel her split negates her financial responsibility towards her children that she chose to have while not working, saving or doing anything responsible.

There’s not really any point in laying into individual people who currently need benefits though. Sometimes people just have a run of bad luck. Having children never makes financial sense in our current society at an individual level. But we need people to keep having some children or things will go to shit economically when there aren’t enough workers to support all the retirees. I don’t mean that we need the population to keep growing but we do need to have it stable or slowly shrinking and not crashing in a generation or two. Biology dictates that the best time of life to have children happens before the best time of life to make plenty of money. Lots of people in the middle manage to muddle through but if you start a few years earlier then it can be really tricky economically for a bit. But there are also societal benefits to people having kids in your early to mid twenties rather than waiting til your pushing 40 but have more money. You’re more likely to have involved grandparents who help raise the kids for example. And if you look at a family in terms of multiple generations then a family with great grandparents in a nursing home, grandparents in their late 50s and parents of young children in their late 20s might be costing the taxpayer less money because they have 2 generations working and contributing tax and 2 generations not working and using more money. If you wait til you’re 40 to have kids and your parents did the same then over the 3 living generations you’ll have 2 generations not working and 1 working.
So basically you have to look at population level when you create economic policies.

Also people’s value to society is not only measured by their tax contributions. TA’s and nurses, for example, don’t contribute massive amounts of income tax because those jobs are badly paid. But they are essential services for a happy society so they are not just contributing financially but also through their actions at work. Raising well adjusted children through babyhood to school age is also beneficial to society even though it doesn’t contribute to the tax pot.

She was managing fine (financially etc) until her partner turned out to be an abuse arse.

She's said it will hopefully be a temporary thing.
Not forever 🙄
Urgh these responses.
No wonder women stay with abusive partners rather than escape the abuse.

I know its hard to understand if you haven’t experienced abuse. 1 in 4 women experience abuse, at least 1 women a week is KILLED by her abusive partner. I’m glad we live in a country which supports women, and provides a safety net to leave,

Different levels of responsibility and skills set 🤷

Yes but that doesn’t mean every relationship with issues is abusive. I feel like ‘abusive’ has just become a word used to mean a couple who argues now, or disagrees on everything. Ultimately OP was happy to profit from his tax evasion when she was with him, and now they’ve split, she’s changed her mind. Infantilising women and treating them as perpetual victims with no agency is a huge misstep.

She wasn’t though, she had no financial security but it suited her as she did minimum or no work and just relied on other people. That has now come back to bite. I hope and pray she has now learned and will ensure she is protected and independent by finding work.

I agree. It’s certainly more difficult all round to raise children than it is to stack shelves, or be a cleaner for example.

Yeah....but no.
Actually shelf stacking can be exhausting and it's not just about the job - it can be about shift patterns, collegues, pressure from management that you can do nothing about. It's hard to explain but emotionally even a job like shelf stacking be distressing for some people.
(I've done both)

If shelf stacking is ‘distressing’ then you’ve no business being a mum where lifting a 30lb toddler upwards of 20 times a day, pushing prams, hauling into cars seats and cots, chasing small people when they run away and spending hours and hours in parks and farmyards is pretty much every second of your life for 3 years solid.

Not to mention being pregnant and giving birth!

It irritates me when there are posts on so many threads about 'just shelf stack', as if that's even A Thing.

When I was a 'shelf stacker' there were loads of other applicants, I had to do a s.t.a.r. question interview, providing examples of time when I had provided excellent customer service, worked as a team, dealt with a difficult customer, etc.etc.
The job was physically demanding, brutal hours, constant germs from the general public, incredibly noisy, pressured, and obviously involved all the stuff in the storage and waste rooms, working on checkout for hours etc. all while being looked down on for being 'just a shelf stacker' 🙄