Sleeping on the sofa at 12 weeks pregnant 😞

[TiredButTryin5x]

just needed to vent a bit sorry xx

i’m 12 weeks pregnant now n still sleeping on the sofa every night. got 4 boys in a tiny flat n no room left at all. oldest has box room, two middle ones share, little one still in with me (or meant to be). but he kicks all night n i just end up on sofa again. my back’s gone n i’m not even that far along yet 😩

i asked the council for help but they said i’m “adequately housed” cos we got a roof over our heads. but it don’t feel like that. i’m exhausted all the time. boyfriend don’t stay over n hasn’t offered to help with housing stuff. just feel like no one sees how hard this is.

i’m doing my best but it’s not enough. just want somewhere we all got a bed 😢

Gotta say...
Totally agree. As mentioned i grew up in a similar situation to OPs children and I can tell you it was fucking hard working my absolute ass off to get out of that cycle. I'm the first person in my entire family to own my own home.

Infact, i might actually be only one of 2 out of my entire family.

I have no issue with people getting benefits if you need them but to be at child number 5 is insane. There is no need in 2025 to be "accidentally" falling pregnant or even if you do there are so many options.

I sympathise to OP to a point but the complaining about the council doing nothing really grinds my gears. I cannot afford a 4 bedroom house and as such will be capped at 2 children which even now isn't really viable until toddler is out of nursery fees.

Leaving this thread but OP you have been given options by people of extra beds etc. I think this is the wrong place for anything more really as as this poster says a lot of us are struggling to meet our mortgage payments while paying for the privilege of someone to look after our kids while we try

I also grew up in a similar situation and I really feel for those kids because it is so hard to get out of it and it isn't fair to be put in that position in the first place.

Love doesn't feed children or give them space to study.

I know someone who has 5 kids and she has a better life than my family do.We earn over £100k but our tax goes towards funding people like this.No responsibility and expects the state to look after them using mine and other people’s money that we’ve worked hard all our lives for.
Why you would choose to have another child when you’re already struggling is beyond me.

That implies people have no agency or free will.

I've worked part time plenty in my life and have always payed tax? Don't let assumptions fuel this bitterness towards your fellow citizens. It isn't poor people on benefits causing financial struggle, it's billionaires and oligarchs controlling the economy while the rest of us bicker between ourselves and find any excuse not to have compassion for each other.

But think about what you're saying - the state should be able to force abortions if a pregnant woman isn't deemed to be financially secure enough or have a large enough property for her family? Just think about what that reality would be like.

You know what the sad thing about it is? There are bigger snobs than you out there and would look down on you for buying near people who live in social housing. My partner works in social housing and that was the gossip as soon as he got there. I wouldn't buy near them bla bla bla. He made it sound like a school playground than an office. Was it an ex council house you bought?

Fucking hell Brexit, abortions and closing the borders. Who will pay taxes in this country if there is no one here apart the old?

I think the hope is that people take responsibility for their choices and make choices that are beneficial for themselves, the children they have, and wider society. The OP is not doing that.

I have plenty of compassion, for the children who didn't ask for this. I'm still confused why I should have some compassion for someone who put themselves in this situation.

I've literally said it's not everyone in social housing but currently now the families who have moved in are feral. Don't know what else to say - just speaking from experience.

Far from a snob. And no not an ex council house. A mixed estate of privately owned and social housing. Families when I moved in (apart from one were fine). But some have moved out and the ones who are now there are unemployed, do drugs, have parties wat into nights in weekdays and have children who roam the area causing trouble. So I'm living amongst them so allowed to have my view.

OP has now started another post asking for help with her 13-year-old who is inexplicably angry.

I am not sure what help anyone on MN can offer really. But those of you who think you can help can do so on that thread too.

I also work part-time and pay (rather a lot of) tax. I am not making assumptions based on her part-time status but on the combination of her part-time status and her role. The threshold to pay tax is £12,570. The OP cleans part-time in a school. I sincerely doubt she earns more than £12,570 a year doing a few hours cleaning a week, term-time only. Yet she is expecting the state to provide her with a (minimum) four bedroom house because she keeps having children she can’t afford and acts as though it has “just happened”.

I haven't mentioned an abortion. If you check all my replies I mentioned sterilisation after she gives birth after the 5th ONE! It should have been after the 2nd or 3rd.
This is much more complex than someone who 'isn't financially secure or has a big house'. She can't provide financially, housing, emotionally, absent fathers, absent relatives.
And yes, it's probably not her fault cause she probably grew in a similar setup and it's her 'normal'
Anyway...who knows if this person is even real or someone just bored on the Internet🤣 looks like she created another thread...this time is her 13yold.

MNHQ have said that the OP is an established poster …

@TiredButTryin5x you clearly need real life support. Have you been able to talk to a GP about how much you’re struggling at the moment?

Is your boyfriend still actually your boyfriend? Did he actively want to father a baby with you and have a plan for your shared future? If not - what is his attitude now? What does ‘not around a lot’ mean? Was he enthusiastic about your continuing with the pregnancy, or has he distanced himself? Is he offering any financial support now, and does he plan to support you once you have to stop working? If not, do you have a plan for how you will provide for six people? Honestly, I can’t begin to imagine that - but I’m sure it’s crossed your older children’s minds.

Doesn't mean she's not making shit up. There are daily threads at this point.

I really don't think it's made up sadly. She's been posting for ages under various names, and it's all very consistent. I don't think a liar could keep up with it all.

OP knew how this was going to go! I'm not sure if its rage bait or they just keep seeking advice in the wrong places. To be honest most of this stuff is basic common sense, you split the 2 bedrooms and the older 4 share them, you sleep in the box room with the baby and save for a good quality sofa bed for when it's to old to share with. The attitude of it just happened is ridiculous most people go many years without getting pregnant its not hard. I have 5 kids. you have to work very hard to keep on top of everything but that is the life you chose (it didn't choose you) You need to get proactive and get all of this sorted, rooms, schools, useless fathers its not going to sort itself out that's your job as their mother!

You have a 16 year old sort him out quickly so he can move on. It will get better you just need to hang in there.

Yeah. Force your teenager out asap to make way for a never ending stream of babies. Stellar parenting.

I don't think kicking the 16 year old out so he can go live in a grotty house share and spend all his money on rent and end up taking any job (potentially turn to dealing and or other illegal stuff to get by) to pay for it so he can't study or decide what he wants to do is the right answer here...

Simply stop having more kids! I cannot fathom why OP thought it was a good idea to keep bringing children into the world at a disadvantage the second they are born was a good idea.

This is going to be child no 5. It's insane.

What do you suggest? Most 25 year olds are still supported at home

I couldn't care less if she keeps the baby or not. Like most peeps on here, I was saying it's not the best idea under the circumstances for her and her other kids sakes.