Chat for single parents!

[autumngirl714]

I just wondered if there was anyone here who might like a space to share with other single parents?
Just day to day chat and support!

I am a single mum, I have two primary school aged children.vibe been in my own for 5 years!!
They live with me mainly but do see their dad.

I don't have any single parent friend in the real world, all friends are happily coupled up (of course!) so I'd just love to be able to chat the day to day stuff with people on my boat!

I absolutely love being a Mum! Parent of me also likes doing it on my own and not having to listen to his stupid opinions and judgements 😂 But heck it can be lonely can't it?!

My biggest struggle is mum guilt. It's everywhere. I feel guilty when I'm over whelmed, guilty when they're not home, guilty that I don't have a big house and they share a bedroom... just everything really 😂😂

Anyone out there fancy a chat ☺️

Single Dad to a 7 year old (turning 8 in October.) Been single for 5 years and I'd say now it's starting to get a lot more lonely. Most of my friends don't have or never will have children. One mate has 3 and it's too much for him, money, stress and everything so at the moment I feel like 1 is enough.

I do get at least one evening a week to go out an do something. Most women seen to be quite aloof and very chilled out when it comes to dating. I don't do dating apps as I think they're poisonous and manipulative.

Welcome on board @Youknowbest

How's everyone's weekend going? Eldest has only just gone to sleep so I'm up late as he's been rattling around in his bedroom. Youngest has got in my bed and has also kept me awake by fidgeting.

Hi,

I’m a single mum to a 8 week old little boy. It’s very lonely and hard at the moment but fighting through it for both of us.

Never expected to be in this situation but my long term partner (M31) dumped me at 6 months pregnant and kicked me out.

Would love to chat to some single parents (my location is the North East).

Hi I’m also in the north east. Sorry to hear about your situation
have you tried to Peanut app ? I made a few friends on there

Hi,

I did, I’ve made two friends so far but they’re both in relationships so it’s slightly different for them x

Can I be included on this thread please? I have been a single parent since ds was 5 months. He is now 20.
I am very happily single probably owing to being autistic. I could always do with more single parent chinwag. I only have 2 single parent friends and nobody else can understand. People seem to pity us whereas personally I pity them for putting up with a partner lol...

I can agree with that! I have one friend who constantly patronises me: 'I don't know how you do it' 'Tim is working away, I feel like a single mum'. And one friend who just doesn't understand: 'just get up an hour earlier to fit in an exercise class'. Like, hun, do you not know how tiring my life is, not just physically but mentally?!

Personally I don't include wives in my friendship circle unless they are accepting. I think it depends on how broad a base their bank of friends actually is. If there is the merest hint of pity or judgement or needless unsolicited advice then I am gone sharpish!

One woman had the nerve to say I was vulnerable! I am a mortgage free home owner and running my own business.

I would like to join please. Single mum for 11 years now. Thankfully past the teenage years....🤔😂

Agreed - I know the intention is good, to show solidarity, support and empathy but it is irksone as its like comparing a stubbed toe to losing a limb.

One friend of mine keeps inferring how easy I have it as a lone parent of three as I can make all the decisions myself without having to debate or co-ordinate with my partner 🤔

Hello! Single mum of 13 years here - and my son is 13 and a half! I did a lot of dating when he

Do tell us how it went!

Meanwhile I will knit us all a medal for being such valiant heroes to our sprogs over the years...

Hello can I join this thread, I'm a single parent, DS is 7. I've been separated for nearly 4 years, co-parenting is mainly all fine and we're friendly. I'm feeling so lonely and life and still struggle a lot in many ways. DS is growing up fast and I feel guilty about so many things. I don't have a good support network around me and just want to chat with other single parents for support.

Welcome. Ds was much easier once he turned 12. They are so sweet when younger just crippling demanding and alone you get very little heads pace.

Single parents seem to be hiding these days. I used to go to a Buddhist group and I only found 2 there. I now go to church but everybody is married.
I have no desire to have a boyfriend but wd luv to know more single parents in real life! I think couples just cannot afford to split up these days....

Not sure why the rest of my message disappeared yesterday I’ll try and repost. It was pretty boring stuff tbh!

I'm certainly feeling like that, like I can't seem to meet the expectations from my DS. As it is feel what I do is never enough and I feel constantly guilty.

I also have no desire for a partner - it's truly not even on my radar.

I do know a handful of single mums but it's very hard for me to make friends. I do feel increasingly depressed about how lonely and how pressurised my life is. I had to refer myself for talking therapies last month and now I've been referred for counselling as I broke down during the triage call. The lady said CBT won't do anything for me right now, and suggested counselling. I will have to see what that brings, I haven't had great experience with counselling therapists in the past.

Hope everyone is doing OK. I am certainly entering a dark period for me😕

Did you or have you ever tried ringing the Samaritans at all? They offer a non judgemental listening service. I used to ring twice a year when ds was much younger as I am autistic and have always had zero family support (parents deceased). I had been to the lovely female GP over a need for counseling. She warned me counseling might not help as it was lifestyle linked. If you do happen to ring the Samaritans you don't need to be suicidal. Not at all. I must say they were invaluable to me and you don't need to tell anybody. Good luck.

@Augustus40 this is a good idea about the Samaritans. It’s something I could probably do with myself now and again. I suspect that I’m autistic (waiting for assessment) and unfortunately I don’t have any family support. At times my anxiety and depression gets really bad. @Coffeeevening im sorry you’re struggling at the moment. I am confident that what you do for your son IS good enough - in fact it’ll be more than good enough.

Samaritans are very hit and miss though. 3 out of 10 are pretty unhelpful but 7 out of 10 very good. Just end the call and try again if the listener is ineffective.

Hopping on this thread. Long term single parent to DS16. His social life has blossomed and not seeing much of him these days. Between social life, dad’s, gaming. Planning my own fun stuff as much as possible. My friends are mainly in couples so would love a bit of single parent chat.

We don’t seem so close now, which I know is natural, but I miss it. He says I am negative about his schoolwork etc, which is maybe true but I get frustrated that he doesn’t work v hard. Did ok in his GCSEs but was predicted much higher.

Need to find a tv series for us to share. That is a goof way to bond. How are others getting on with teen DC?

I'm just joining in. I am now a lone parent to a 13 month old, my ex partner walked out unexpectedly when he was 11 months old. Its still very new and fresh and I'm heartbroken and angry and a whole host of other things. My ex has seen the baby once since he left two months ago and has behaved atrocious towards myself. Hes left me in a tonne of debt i knew nothing about, I've lost my car, I handed in the notice of my job weeks before he left (at his encouragement, it was a complete shock), i will have to move out of my home. I just feel like I've lost everything and im also learning to parent a baby alone.

I want to ask, how do people process the shock and anger? X

@BinNightTonight so sorry you're going through this. I had this shock - albeit when mine was older than yours. I found therapy, writing in a journal 'to' my ex (i.e. the letters that I would never send him but got all my angry thoughts out on paper) and doing a gratitude challenge, helped. When you are able to let go of the anger, it feels like such a weight off your shoulders. I'm now so glad I'm not with him!
I also recommend seeing if there is a Gingerbread group near you - it can be good to meet up and chat with other single parents.

@Bufftailed mine is now teenaged (just) - I have found it hard to adjust to suddenly having lots of free time! But also still somewhat tethered to home because he's not completely independent yet. I'm getting used to it though. I find the intensity of single parent/only child can be tough - especially when he's going through teen rage!

So sorry. My ex left when DC was a baby. It’s hard, go day by day. Have you got any support?

@AndMiffyWentToSleep Thank you so much, I'm sorry you've experienced similar but so glad you're out the other side. Its inspiring. I will have a look on the gingerbread website x

@Bufftailed I'm so sorry to you too. It is bloody hard. My parents are amazing and so supportive, we go to their house for teamost nights and they watch the baby while I have a bath. He still doesnt sleep well, we cosleep but he wakes many, many times, so I just feel completely knackered x

Its just been one thing after the other. Him leaving out of the blue, days after he left our child ended up in hospital twice with croup, he couldnt have shown less interest. A week after he left it was our babies 1st birthday and I didnt hear from him at all, not even a text. Then I found all the debts, baliffs, CCJs in my name etc yet I never opened a single letter and had no idea these bills werent being paid. Then my ex has been awful towards me, trying to rewrite our entire relationship and blame me for him leaving (sayijg i kicked him out which is categorically untrue), also threatening court and solicitors if I dont comply with him. Then I contacted his ex fiancé to see her side of the story and he left her in a similar position with the debts, I also found out he lied about 99% of his life before we met, including drug use and other quite insidious things. Then my car went as I cant afford it alone, after giving up my job and our nursery place at his encouragement. I have since found out he is now with someone at his work (5 hours from where I live, he took this job with the plan of us all relocating) so he was either cheating on me or had her lined up, as he was looking for flats with her within 6 weeks of him walking out. I could go on and on, its been absolutely horrific and I feel broken down by it all.

Hi, I'm new here, and I would love to join this thread if possible, also became a single mom to a 3 year old about two weeks ago, though I've been mostly alone with her for about 6 months already so it's not as much of a shock I guess.. With my now ex-boyfriend we've been fighting his addiction (alcohol) and depression for quite some time but.. I wasn't able to help him anymore (and not put us in danger too) .. what's worst I'm not from UK but lived there for 7 years(have been granted resident status under the settlement scheme), my daughter's been born there(and has British passport) but we left for a while to help our family in our country(Czechia) and spend time with the grandparents (who got cancer and dementia) till we can. We were planning on coming back but now I feel desperate.. I don't know how I'll be able to go there alone..(and I can do so without losing the right to remain only if I come back within 5years of leaving the UK- it's now been 2 years) Is it possible to raise a child with no family and no friends in the UK? (I've got past coworkers and ex brother in law there but that's it) Is it financially doable? In here I would have to work as a warehouse worker for maybe £700a month (and rent and food is the same price as in the UK but we also have to pay for medication here) I would appreciate any kind of advice or anything because I'm drowning now.. so sorry for a long post,
Thank you,
Merry Christmas to all xx