can I be selfish and talk about me (and my current date)

[MascaraOHara]

I've been out with him twice in 2 weeks, should I cancel my date with someone else on Saturday to see him again?

[MascaraOHara]

how's it going with you?

[lou33]

i dont think i am cut out for relationships, i think i am going to stuck to convenient arrangements

[MascaraOHara]

Nowt wrong with convenient arrangements if it suits you.

my convenient arrangement is coming round on Friday and I actually feel slightly guilty to 'new bloke'.. I'm not sure how to interpret that feeling lol

[lou33]

i guess it means you like him more than you did

i went to see the guy who is local to me last night, the one dd1 blabbed about and almost blew the arrangement

tbh that kind of thing suits me just fine right now, he is a private person, not the sort to mouth off about it after a few drinks, i knew him beforehand, he's a nice guy and he knows it isnt a serious thing

not many men can handle it when the woman says she just wants to keep it casual, they see it as an affront to their manhood or something ridiculous, but he can, so i will stick with that for now

[MascaraOHara]

Sounds like a good arrangement then.

He got over your dd mentioning him then?

[lou33]

well he seemed to have last night lol

yeh he was fine,i will just make sure she doesnt feel free to tell others what i was up to (though she doesnt know about our arrangement , just that he is a friend i went to see)

[MascaraOHara]

LOL. Glad it got sorted anyway

[lou33]

thanks

i wont cry about it if the arrangement ends, but it's handy to have iykwim

[MascaraOHara]

lol, I know exactly what you mean.

bloke is coming round tonight, said he's gonna look after me because I've got a cold lol

[lou33]

aw that's nice

hope he is doing it out of concern and not because he is hoping to get something out of it , lol

[MascaraOHara]

he's a bit rubbish at the 'looking after' thing lol

[lou33]

what happened?!!!

[MascaraOHara]

nothing, lol

he was stroking my back and I said something like "that's nice" he said "I told you I'd look after you tonight"

and I just thought to myself... if you think that's looking after me you've got a lot to learn still he meant well I guess.

[lou33]

lol

i remember when i was with my exh, every time i said something was nice, he automatically stopped doing it

weird, i am not sure if he even realised he did it sometimes

[MascaraOHara]

yeah my ex was like that as well.. I think it's a man thing.

New bloke (will start refering to him as NB) is coming round Sunday night, I feel a bit guilty as I knew I wouldn't be able to get a babysitter when he suggested doing something on Sunday.. I told him that and said he could come round if he wanted, he said OK but why do I feel guilty?? I wonder if I am quietly concerned he might get bored as he came round Thursday as well. I don't feel we're at that stage yet but I do want to see more of him (dilemma!).. Thursday was lovely, really chilled out but I'm concerned we should be 'dating' still rather than watching TV iykwim.

Oh and what do you think to this.. NB is still going on PoF everyday, do you think I should be wary? we have only been out a few times and I'm still going on there too but at what point do/should you stop going on there? Are we going to have to, at some point, have one of those really awkward 'is this exclusive'/'are we a couple' conversations do you think?

XP tried to get me to go to bed with him last night. I said no (of course) but it all got a bit weird. He was talking about how the house is coming along and how I should be choosing all the interior etc

[mmelody]

Hi Mascara, Ive followed this thread with interest as I met my lovely man online 4 years ago.

Its early days yet as you say and you yourself had another date lined up till you cancelled it.. but I would wait till you have shagged him before making a decision on whether to remove your profile or not...

Its tough dating as a single mum and I know what you mean about feeling as though you should be out and about.. but you could make the evening fun.. dont't turn on the TV, get dressed up and play music. My XP was EXACTLY the same when I started dating again.. just treat him gently and it will pass..

[zippitippitoes]

oh moh

we dont watch tv at all if he is here

except match of the day

or at his house

he doesnt have a tv in his bedroom

anyway sounds like it is going really well

bf is still on pof tho he says he hasnt looked at it for ages

i deleted my profile

we did have a convo re seeing other people and he said he would and would i be gutted and i said yes he said oh i wouldnt be if you did

however he didnt and we have since knocked that idea on the head i believe

[lou33]

i wouldnt come off pof just yet, it is still really early days

see how it goes over the weekend then have a casual chat about how people decide when it is time to delete their profile, or be more upfront, and say you would like to have an honest discussion regarding whether or not the relationship should be exclusive right now or not, adding you are not planning on seeing anyone else, but want to clarify your positions in case either of you get asked out

and tell your ex to bugger off and stop the territorial pissing on his territory shit , now he knows you are seeing someone

he blew his chances and he has to live with that

he's just playing mind games from his insecurity

[electra]

WRT men not liking it when you say you want to keep it casual, that has been my experience too. Odd isn't it?

[electra]

I have never been single before - have always had a boyfriend / husband and now I'm finding it weird having to try to figure out what people want from you, what you should say etc...

[MascaraOHara]

He only came over once and I cooked dinner then we watched a film.

he came over last night, we ended up watching some tv and I fell asleep - oops.

Wish I could put my finger on what it is that's making me reluctant though.

Went out on Saturday and got another guys number but found out he comes from same (small) town as NB. damn.

[lou33]

maybe he is someone who you can only see yourself as being friends with moh

can you picture ever getting it on with him?

[MascaraOHara]

we did get it on, after I woke up lol.

it was a bit of a let down.. am pondering whether or not it's worth aother go lol

[lou33]

lol you mean see if he can be brought up to scratch?

[MascaraOHara]

yeah, lol, that;s what I mean.. but really at his age.. he should already be trained up