Ok, I lied, I am bothered about not having a bloke, infact it is driving me nuts

[CrackerOfNuts]

When ever anyone asks me if i'd like to meet someone, I say no. If they suggest dating sites, speed dating etc, I say that I am not interested, am happy as I am, and it is such a huge lie.

Not sure what ti says about me though, that I am so desperate for some male company.

I just so hate being single.

I know i stand no chance of meeting anyone either, not at the mo.

can you not work when your kids are at school in the daytime, or do a course?

If anyone would employ me I could. I have applied for so many jobs now, I have really lost count.

oh blimey, it does seem like the whole world is set against you.

what are you really interested in doing? other than finding a man?!!!!

Well, I am still job hunting, and like I said, will do these 2 Clait units after easter if I can get a place.

I want the jobs in my house finished but thats out of my control at the moment really.

I'm taking the kids on their first ever holiday abroad in Sept so i'm looking forward to that.

Oh and I have to learn to drive, which in all honestly I don't want to do, but at the same time I know I have to as I have the money for the lessons and £1000 sat in my dads safe for a car.

I feel your frustration nutty, with everything & i have dp with me, it can't be easy trying to do things when you have 3 kids & are a lone parent with no help around you!

I would focus on the job/course front first as it will help with your confidence a bit & you will meet new people, which is also a good thing.

Your a million miles away from me but if i was near i would go out for a drink & a good evening with you

what about speed dating nutty?

Have you heard back from the travelodge job? (Was it travelodge?)

I think instead of the clait courses, your first step should be a pd course.

2 of my friends have gone on there & I can't believe the difference in them! Especially one of them, it has given her so much confidence & the ability to speak up if something doesn't please her. She used to be meek & mild, but now she will stand up for herself & not let anyone take advantage of her.

Find out if there are any round your way!!

pd= personal development.

I couldn't do it Lou, I just couldn't.

I don't fancy a PD course tbh wallofsilence.

I didn't hear from the Tavel lodge job no. A bit gutted about that tbh because I have more than enough experiance to be able to do it.

I heard from the receptionist travelodge job i applied for & as i thought it was the hours they wanted that were not suitable! She asked if she could keep my application form & it was good (thank you mn) & be in touch if & when they had the hours i could do avaliable.

Don't beat yourself up over it, they may just be busy & may phone you, i would be surprised if you heard nothing at all, in fact when no one botheres to even say no to you it annoys me i think they should contact you either way!

Do you look on the jobcentreplus.co.uk wesbite for jos? shop windows?

hi just reading ur msgs wot does pd stand for

No one ever sends thanks but no thanks letters about jobs now, and i find it so irritating and rude.

I mentioned i was a single parent on the form, and I think was a mistake now.

For jobs, I check the job centre site daily, NHS site, local paper, couple of local agencies and the local council site.

PD = Personal Development

But I really think you need to work on your confidence, as your low self esteem really makes its-self known.

Why don't you want to learn to drive?

cheers

Well I do and I don't. I do want to because I know it will benefit me and the kids so much, and that I will be pleased once I can do it.

However, the thought of actually having lessons is enough to make me throw up.

I am going to have them, i have no excuses left.

the problem is you lack confidence, and you decide you cant do something without giving it a go

yg went speed dating and met a nice bloke there

everyone is in the same boat, and it's only a few minutes of chat with one person at a time.

maybe you should consider it?

I honestly couldn't Lou, I would hate and dread every minute of it.

I know it must be frustrating for others to see me give up before I even try something. Imagine what it is like to actually be me then.

Tbh even if i were a bit more confident, speed dating still isn't something i'd be up for.

I think tbh you need to work on being at a place in your own life where you have some self esteem independant of a man. How old is your youngest child now? Can you do voluntary work as a teaching assistant in a local school with a view to getting more permanent work once experience gained?

Where do you think you would like to meet a man?

Make a list of possible places?

Although I hated night clubs etc & my BIL used to tell me I wouldn't meet someone on my door step... but believe it or not, that's exactly where I met my beautiful dh!

in all seriousness nutty, i really do think you should talk to someone to try and help you resolve this crushing lack of confidence and self esteem you have

have you been and talked to your gp?

I spoke to my gp about it briefly last year, when all that stuff went on with xp and my ex friend.

I felt so ill at that point but she gave me 2 weeks to see if I improved and I did, and so we left it at that, with bme agreeing that i'd go back if i felt myself slipping again.

I am going to go back and see her once she is back of holiday. I could see another gp but i'm not really comfortable with that. I'd rather wait and speak to her.

I know that I need to do something, as if things carry on as they are, i'll be old before I know it and life will have completely passed me by, and i'll have kids that think there mother could just never be bothered.

They have just sat upstairs and watched a film. I had the film on down here but they said they'd rather watch it upstairs. They don't want to spend time with me because I moan at them alot and snap at the slightest thing. They will end up hating me if it carries on.

you must go and see her though nutty, living as you are suffocate you and your kids

you will see that when you feel better, but when you are in the middle of these feelings it's so hard to do anything about , or to see clearly

we will nag you

living as you are will suffocate, i mean

Nutty, you are still young enough to turn your life around and make decisions to change how things are. Have you tried your local connexions?

I have had career counselling or whatever it is called, have had it several times and the answers are always the same.

I hate my life like this.

Have just had to split up dd1 and 2 and send them to their rooms cos they were beating the crap out of each other. They are bored I know.

I know why I feel so crap at the moment, it's cos I am dreading this stupid bloody hen weekend that I wish i'd never agreed to go on.
I woke up this morning and felt fine, then i remembered it is only 4 days until I go and was actually nearly sick.