Flying with a baby without permission from father (ex partner) - any way this can happen?

[beautyisfoundwithin]

Does anyone know the rules/have experience regarding travelling abroad with a baby who has a different surname to you, without a letter of permission from the father?

Trying to explain a long story in the shortest way possible, my sister (with her baby) has very recently escaped from an abusive relationship - not physical as far as I'm aware but I'm not sure as I think she may not be ready to admit it if that is the case, but definitely emotionally abusive and very controlling. I'm so proud of her for having the strength to leave him.

However she has really nowhere to go, she's currently staying on the sofa at a friend's house until she can get housing etc. sorted out. I would love for her and my nephew to come and stay with me for a little while as I have a bit more room and obviously would like to give her some support but I don’t live in the UK (I’m in Germany). There is no way the ex will give permission for her to take the baby abroad (although he has made it clear he wants nothing to do with his son, not even interested in seeing him ever again).

Does anyone know if there’s ANY way my sister could travel to me with her son in this situation?

Does her ex have parental responsibility?

If so then she will require a special order from the court. She would need to speak to a solicitor asap. Otherwise, if he catches wind of it she could be detained.

So upshot is she CAN travel but would need to ask a court for permission first.

She could apply to courts for a live with order and request the right to overseas travel of 28 consecutive days without needing his consent, as long has booked return travel within that period.

However, if you intend to her staying longer than 28 days, this would not likely be agreed without the father's consent.

Thanks for the quick replies! Would this application be a long process?

He's on the birth certificate - from what I've been reading online that means he has parental responsibility, is that right?

It wouldn't be longer than 28 days, I think she'd need to be back before that long to get things sorted.

I'm a SM and I have never been asked to produce a letter at airports.

If he's on the birth certificate he automatically has parental responsibility.

I have never been asked. She may need to take his birth certificate to prove he is her child but I have never been asked for that either.

I flew for first time last month as single parent and was asked. My children have same name as well.

You may have never been challenged however other parents have even when traveling with the other parent but simply separated in the queue.

Some of this is just luck of the draw, others can only be concluded as racism.

If you can get a cheap flight and risk her being declined, I’d be tempted to just try and get her to come to you, especially if you have a flight booked back and he wants nothing to do with the child/won’t notice.

Do you mind sharing what happened? I'm in a similar boat and would like to know what to expect in future.

I've travelled with my DS (different surname) every year for the last decade. I've been asked about our relationship once, coming back into the UK by Eurostar. I provided a copy of ds' birth certificate showing me to be his mother.

I have never been asked for a letter from his other parent - airports, or ferries. I've never bothered and DS is now 13 so I don't intend to.

I've also given permission for DS to travel with the school and not even thought about consulting his father who really isn't interested.

So as long as she can prove she has PR, and there is no court order vetoing travel, she will probably be fine.

I've flown solo with my daughter and we had different surnames (only cos my passport was unmarried name) and there was no questioning it. Was a domestic flight so maybe that makes a difference. As PP said, if it's cheap enough I'd risk just going for it and hoping they don't check.

And incidentally, I know someone who wrote a letter of permission, faked a signature and posted it to herself. She carries it in case she is asked.

How would anyone at the airport know whether the signature is real? They can't of course.

I wasn’t married and took my children abroad and no one asked.

I think fathers can notify the boarders if they’re that bothered. But also the fathers need a reasonable grounds to refuse the holiday. Boarder control don’t get involved unless there’s a court order refusing you to leave the county. Even if he asked the police to find her, they still need a court order.

She should just book the flight and a return ticket - and go - the basic laws are becoming ridiculous

This is what I would do... how would they know? It’s a stupid law so I would just fake a letter.

Specific Issue Order via a C100 application via the nearest family court. £232 I think.
No need for a solicitor.
I would ask the ex first so that your sister has a definitive no. Then explain that if the no remains a no, you will seek the specific issue order.
On the same C100 application, request a Child arrangement order that your sister becomes the resident parent and that will include the ability to travel abroad in the future without seeking further permission.
This will take away the control the ex has over travel ability.
Hopefully he will lose interest.

(i had to do this. My ex didn't even bother turning up to the specific issue order hearing. The court official rang him while I was in court. On hearing his excuses, I'm sure the court official rolled his eyes. Ex tried to imply that Berlin was too dangerous for me to take my DS13 even thought we had ALL gone there not 3 years before)

@RedCardigan this is exactly what I have been thinking I'm tempted to do

@MintJulia @BiscoffSundae I've been saying the exact same thing! I don't understand if it's just a letter apparently signed independently by the father how on earth anyone would know if it's genuine or not!

Maybe they only check certain countries?

They won’t, they aren’t going to check.

I was asked when bringing the child into the UK not when taking them out as passports aren't checked when you leave.
Since the father was dead he obviously couldn't sign a letter but it was distressing for me and child to be asked to prove he was dead.

I’ve never been asked for permission from the other parent to travel abroad. DC has a different surname to me and I always travel with her birth cert just in case but I have never, ever been asked for it or questioned.

She could just book a flight and travel, how would the ex know if he is having nothing to do with the child?

My dc's dad has no contact. I've been all over with them and never been asked for permission at boarders. Never. Just take birth certificate if baby has a different surname as mum

From what I understand you can take them without the fathers permission for 28 days, just need a copy of the birth certificate.