Partner left me while pregnant now his mum is viewing my social media

[Babygirlmum]

My partner left me when i was 11 weeks pregnant after telling him as he didn't want to be a dad and apparently he couldn't be one, after a stressful and hard 9 months I give birth to my beautiful daughter I haven't been in contact with him to tell him as he made it clear he didn't want to know the baby but I have now had my beautiful baby girl she is 5 weeks old and I don't know if he knows she is born as there is a possibility but also a chance he doesn't know, his mum has viewed my Instagram story and seen my daughter I don't know why she is searching me up as I don't have her on any social media she has looked up up but I don't understand why as they don't want anything to do with the baby she is a foster carer and has supported her son on not having any contact with her son why is this woman viewing my social media?

@Babygirlmum the usual bullies are out on mass being their usual patronising best, probably makes them feel all superior, many are the ones who get all excited at the opportunity to slag off a single parent, (which is a supported sport by MNHQ) they pop up on many threads, ignore it, congratulations on your baby girl, you question was why is she looking when she has stated throughout she doesn’t care and neither does her son, she is possibly curious, maybe she will soften overtime, what are you going to do if they change their mind and want to suddenly show interest, is he on the birth certificate?

@FAQs Thankyou for your reply after all there is somebody on here who is human with a valid comment I can not believe the amount of negativity on this forum if my concern was regarding anything else other than what I have stated I would understand but it's regarding one thing and the amount of judgmental people and then people assuming I have learning difficulties. I am a nurse I bet half of these people don't have jobs that's why they are always on this app being ignorant judgmental human beings with nothing better to do.

No one is slagging off being a single mum.

The concern is that OP appears to be utterly oblivious to basic online safety and thereby putting her child at risk.

The concern is compounded by frankly how arsey and aggressive the OP has become.

"Someone I don't want is looking at pictures of my kid online"
"So make your accounts private so they can't do that. This will also keep your kid safe."
"Why is everyone picking on me?"

🤷🏻‍♀️

Exactly. Has absolutely nothing to do with being a single parent

I imagine that quite a few people suggesting that you lock down your accounts do fact have jobs and those jobs could well be those in which they have to deal with sordid and nasty things like online child sexual exploitation, which is why they're giving you this advice.

Or maybe they simply have the common sense to lock down their social media accounts if they don't like other people outside their circles of friends seeing pictures of their child.

Your call.

Sounds to me like she is regretting her and her son’s decisions not to see your DD. I think now your DD is here she might like to be involved.

good luck op x

Otherwise why would she keep searching for and viewing the OPS social media stories? perhaps she has had a change of heart?
if the op hadn’t had any other contact then why would his mum go out of her way to find the pictures, it’s sounds to me like she might hold some regrets about not knowing her grand daughter.

The fact she "supports" her son's decision doesn't mean she approves of what he's done.

Your child is her granddaughter, so it's not surprising she wants to see pictures/hear news about her.

looking up her grandchild online isn’t surprising.

a parent keeping their social media open for anyone to see is quite unusual. There should not have been anything for her to find. People are mentioning this because it is really unusual behavior. She should have needed to ask your permission to see pictures of her grandchild.

My guess is that she is snooping because she is going to warn her darling angel feckless son to quit his job because there is about to be a CMS claim.

No I don’t agree, I look up all random
people on Facebook including exes, definitely don’t want to be with them or see them, sometimes people are just nosey!

@Babygirlmum did you know that there are entire websites dedicated to sick fucks taking innocent baby/child photographs from open profiles and editing them into sexually explicit images?

Wake up. People aren’t being mean to you, they are trying to get you to see that the internet isn’t a big happy family scrapbook. It’s a fucking awful place and having seen some of the things I’ve had to see for work, I would recommend NEVER putting a child’s picture out there where anyone you don’t know very, very well can get hold of it.

Protect your child’s privacy.

I know you’re just trying to be kind and tell her what she clearly wants to hear but you do her no favours pretending, it just will get her hopes up and then she will be even more hurt whe she realises, once again they don’t want to know.

Op honestly, just lock it down,he’s not coming back, I’m so sorry. If you’re comfortable with images of your child being available on line then keep going, but you’ve started multiple threads about this now In one on form or another, even coming close to blaming his mother ,,,it’s been over for over a year, your child is five months old. He doesn’t want it, he’s out, he’s telling you this repeatedly, you need to accept it.

Time to focus on the future, and if seeing her viewing the stories is going to keep you in the past and wishing, it’s best to just shut it down now and try to heal and move on. He’s not going to parent her and he won’t be involved with you again. Focus on your children now. 😔

And this is going to be deleted in 3,2,1 because a poster who "understands social media" does not in fact understand social media.

N.B. Mumsnet is social media.

She'll be curious, I wonder if she regrets her decision, I'd want to know my GD, Anyway her choice, enjoy your lovely daughter and ignore the prats on here giving you grief. Congratulations on your LO xx

Enjoy your new baby, I think you're reading too much into this.
Don't give any thought to why she would view it or what it means.
They've told you where they stand with this pregnancy/newborn. Just cut ties. Which would include blocking them on SM if you don't wish to privatise your account.

Though, from experience, I would strongly recommend for the sake of your own mental health that in a sensitive situation such as yours, you do set privacy in place on your social media as it'll only serve to bring negativity that you could really do without right now.

MN can be a great place for advice but I think having been dealt with such a shit card in regards to your DDs paternal family, that you should just focus on her and not give any attention at all to the waste of space that he and his family are. They are not even worth mulling over.

You have a new baby, and the road can be quite tough with ups and downs especially when doing it alone but we are resilient beings and you will do a brilliant job regardless.

Enjoy your new baby OP and congratulations on becoming a mum!x

P.s I have a job tee hee!

Nobody has been mean and bitter. No one has ranted. You are clearly not in a good place for any social media, IE Mumsnet
Block and get on with your life 😜

I am a nurse I bet half of these people don't have jobs that's why they are always on this app being ignorant judgmental human beings with nothing better to do.

Pot calling the kettle there. Really, responses like this aren’t doing you any favours. Nobody can tell you why anyone is looking at your insta, and you’ve been given advice of how to stop it if you don’t like it. If you want to know why this woman is doing it, ask her.

@Wisteriaroundthedoor Thankyou for your comment I also do agree with the things you have said. also my daughter is not 5 months old she is just 5 weeks old and your right I have done multiple threads just trying to make some sense of the situation in the earlier stages of my pregnancy but now I am fully aware he is never going to be a part of my daughters life and I have adjusted to that and for the things he has said and done I don't ever want him to be a part however his mum is the one viewing my stuff when I think she was part of his decision.

@Holly60 the difference between my degree and this forum is that I worked along side caring and compassionate people that wanted to help and care for others, as being a nurse that is what you do however instead the people in here are online trolls and judgemental individuals with a lack of understanding as they are just ignorant, don't be concerned about my punctuation as I've said I am replying to a bunch of online trolls not doing my degree as a nurse thank you for your concern however it's highly not needed as I am a very good nurse. God bless.

@Babygirlmum you'll be the one who sees your little girl flourish, and laugh, say her first words, first steps, it’s hard in the early days but those days are yours, my daughter is a teen now, her father decided to not be involved and by default his family, it’s honestly been wonderful to see all she has achieved and much of it with my support and I’m proud of that, it’s their loss, enjoy your time together.

Those who mentioned single mum, you missed my point, it’s many of the same posters who turn up in threads written by single parents purely to be spiteful, regardless of the subject. I only assume they are very unhappy in their own lives and choose to stay that way.

@Littlepaws18

Where did you get that I think she’s got learning difficulties for having a different opinion??
Also i’m not arguing with her?

She’s replying like a teenager and as I said her responses remind me of a lady I know that had learning difficulties and that’s not actually a offensive thing to say? People with learning difficulties in every walk of life.

Foe instance she’s asking strangers why a man who’s got her pregnant and wants nothing to do with her or the baby, but asking why his mum
is looking at pics of her kid on an open profile an expects people to just answer that and not say well if you lock the profile, this won’t happen- then calls people bitter?

That sounds like how a typically able adult and responsible mum would talk?
Or does it sound like someone that’s not an adult or quite immature, cos I think she wants that family to look and be curious and would rather keep her social media open to get that attention or why not lock the profile.

My daughter is studying her degree in adult nursing is a teenager and would understand what people are saying here, without childish and over sensitive replies.

That sounds like how a typically able adult and responsible mum would talk?
Or does it sound like someone that’s not an adult or quite immature, cos I think she wants that family to look and be curious and would rather keep her social media open to get that attention or why not lock the profile.

I agree.