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Original poster

Partner left me while pregnant now his mum is viewing my social media

138 replies

Babygirlmum · 04/05/2022 18:16

My partner left me when i was 11 weeks pregnant after telling him as he didn't want to be a dad and apparently he couldn't be one, after a stressful and hard 9 months I give birth to my beautiful daughter I haven't been in contact with him to tell him as he made it clear he didn't want to know the baby but I have now had my beautiful baby girl she is 5 weeks old and I don't know if he knows she is born as there is a possibility but also a chance he doesn't know, his mum has viewed my Instagram story and seen my daughter I don't know why she is searching me up as I don't have her on any social media she has looked up up but I don't understand why as they don't want anything to do with the baby she is a foster carer and has supported her son on not having any contact with her son why is this woman viewing my social media?

OP posts:
Herejustforthisone · 04/05/2022 20:31

Block her. Protect your baby from these awful people. Don’t invite drama.

PinkButtercups · 04/05/2022 20:40

Babygirlmum · 04/05/2022 19:07

The reason I posted originally was to see why people thought she was going out of her way to search my name knowing I have by now had my daughter not to judge what I am doing with my social media that is not what I asked for I know what I am doing and I can see who views my social media too soo I'm not concerned about that so I'm not sure why anybody else isHmm the reason for the post was what they thought about her actually viewing it after she has supported her son I'm not wanting to be a dad is she not torturing herself knowing she is not going to be a part of my beautiful daughters life out of her own choice.

You might be able to see who views your story but you can't see if people take your pictures.

Sux2buthen · 04/05/2022 20:40

@Hertsgirl10 learning difficulties?
Jesus Christ

Jessica60 · 04/05/2022 20:40

I didn't know that you could see who has been viewing your Instagram pictures. How do you know she has?

PinkButtercups · 04/05/2022 20:42

Jessica60 · 04/05/2022 20:40

I didn't know that you could see who has been viewing your Instagram pictures. How do you know she has?

You can't see who has seen your uploaded pictures. You can however if you post a story see who has watched it, just like FB.

Mellowyellow222 · 04/05/2022 20:44

It doesn’t matter why this evil bat is looking at your social media.

you have a wonderful new daughter - don’t let them ruin it.

lock down your social media so you can control who sees your family.

don’t give them any more headspace. You will never understand them.

Wisteriaroundthedoor · 04/05/2022 20:44

I think the op knows how to use social media and she knows if she doesn’t wish someone looking she can block or make it private. She hasn’t asked how to do this or said she doesn’t like it. That’s really not the point of her thread.

Shes asked why she is looking. I think the phrase “torturing herself” is a rather large giveaway that the op wants to believe they wish to be involved, her and more likely her son and to some extent I think that’s understandable.

So possibly she was hoping and looking for validation that people would say it’s becayse she wants to be involved or her son asked her to, or is using his mums phone to look ,,ultimately though it’s just curiousity, it’s natural to be nosey and have a look, I don’t know anyone who wouldn’t.

I think if you’re looking for hope it can be upsetting when it’s dashed.

Itsmythreadandilldeleteifiwantto · 04/05/2022 20:45

I can't begin to understand why anyone would put pictures of their children on social media at all.

The grandmother was presumably just being curious/nosey about what her granddaughter looked like.

If you don't want people to see pictures of your daughter, don't put them on the internet. Locking down social media isn't enough: anyone who's a "friend" can simply screenshot them and send them on to whoever they like.

I know this and I'm an old bat.

OP, there's another website called Nethuns which might give you the kinds of answers were hoping for.

Original poster
Babygirlmum · 04/05/2022 20:49

And I think you are very ignorant to say to somebody they may have learning difficulties would you like somebody to say that to your child if you have one? I don't think you would appreciate that I am not young nor do I have learning difficulties I am a adult trauma nurse Thankyou very much for your opinions but you can take your opinions elsewhere as they are not appreciated or needed on my post.

OP posts:
PumpkinsandKittens · 04/05/2022 20:49

Yes I do get the feeling the op wants them to look

Elseaknows · 04/05/2022 20:55

Well expect her to keep spying then 🤷‍♀️ you can't control everyone else's actions, only your own and how you respond.

Hertsgirl10 · 04/05/2022 21:27

Babygirlmum · 04/05/2022 20:49

And I think you are very ignorant to say to somebody they may have learning difficulties would you like somebody to say that to your child if you have one? I don't think you would appreciate that I am not young nor do I have learning difficulties I am a adult trauma nurse Thankyou very much for your opinions but you can take your opinions elsewhere as they are not appreciated or needed on my post.

You’re an adult nurse and have no idea about safe guarding?

Right ok.

I said that because you remind me of someone that does have learning difficulties in your replies, you seem oblivious to the dangers of what people are saying and are actually getting offended when people are pointing it out.

TonySmart · 04/05/2022 21:29

Why haven't you blocked her or set your account to private?

I don't understand.

TheChurchOfEli · 04/05/2022 21:33

Why is she looking? No one can tell you that but her, people can only speculate.
Curiosity, Guilt, I mean, she could even be
looking at the photos and being horrible about the baby if she wanted to. This is why people are saying you need to make your socials private, you might know who is viewing them, but you can only see that after they’ve looked. If you removed the ability for any Tom, Dick and Ex’s mother to look at them you wouldn’t have this problem.

Original poster
Babygirlmum · 04/05/2022 21:35

@Hertsgirl10 have I come in this forum and asked anybody on safeguarding? I don't think I have but what I have said is about something completely different and everybody is assuming their own thing maybe you should get a good job and stop making assumptions about others!

OP posts:
Createabitofuntruenews · 04/05/2022 21:39

OP you are trying to create drama.Nobody can tell you why she is looking at your photos,if you want to know ask her!

Meanwhile block her.

Littlepaws18 · 04/05/2022 21:44

@Hertsgirl10 to imply someone has learning difficulties because they hold a view different to the majority is just ignorant!

I don't agree with op's stance on social media but that doesn't mean her intelligence or mental aptitude is impaired.

It's such a arrogant and lazy way to put forward an argument. Let your opinion stand without baseless accusations.

crumpet · 04/05/2022 21:44

OP you sound very cross. You asked why she might want to have a look, and have been told that she’s probably curious.

she’s able to see the photos because you’ve left them open for anyone to look at. If you don’t want random people to see your private photos then make them private. Easy.

AlternativePerspective · 04/05/2022 21:46

The reason why she’s viewing your social media is because she can.

This is why people are telling you to lock down your social media, because if she can view it, so can anyone else.

Stomacharmeleon · 04/05/2022 21:46

@Babygirlmum my son is now 25. His grandmother was vile to me. Sent my parents horrible messages and had zero to do with him. I had only just left school, he was older and I was madly in love (or so I thought)

When he was in his last year of school (18) he had a Facebook message from her asking if she could talk to both of us. She told us that her son had lied to her about not being DS' father and had basically run me down. One of his cousins had managed to find him on social media and by default me.

When my DS' father had got divorced from his wife she basically rung her mother in law, told her that ex had lied through his teeth and that she had been deprived of any relationship with him.

She has been making it up to him since. Sends him cards and money on his birthday. Phoned him regularly. They live opposite ends of the uk but he is planning on visiting her.

I suppose what I am getting at is.... lock down your social media now she has clocked her and let her come to you. You don't know what poison she has had dripped into her ear and let her have a think about what she is missing.

TonySmart · 04/05/2022 21:47

Createabitofuntruenews · 04/05/2022 21:39

OP you are trying to create drama.Nobody can tell you why she is looking at your photos,if you want to know ask her!

Meanwhile block her.

Exactly this. Lots of people have made sensible suggestions. You don't seem interested.

MmeMeursault · 04/05/2022 21:48

If you're cross about her looking at your pictures, imagine how livid you'll be when some random person accesses and uses those pictures for sexual gratification or puts them onto a kiddy porn site because they're freely accessible to them if your accounts aren't locked down.

That's why it's important.

Now grow the fuck up and protect your child by locking down your accounts.

ThatLibraryMiss · 04/05/2022 21:49

Babygirlmum · 04/05/2022 21:35

@Hertsgirl10 have I come in this forum and asked anybody on safeguarding? I don't think I have but what I have said is about something completely different and everybody is assuming their own thing maybe you should get a good job and stop making assumptions about others!

You clearly do need to ask about safeguarding, as someone you say you don't have on any SM is able to view photos of your baby on Instagram.

Lock your SM down tight or risk getting stalked by someone a lot worse than your ex's mum.

Mammy55 · 04/05/2022 21:52

@MmeMeursault exactly this. Said perfectly.

DinoRock · 04/05/2022 22:01

Babygirlmum · 04/05/2022 21:35

@Hertsgirl10 have I come in this forum and asked anybody on safeguarding? I don't think I have but what I have said is about something completely different and everybody is assuming their own thing maybe you should get a good job and stop making assumptions about others!

No but posters are concerned for your child so they are speaking up. They aren't worried about you being on social media, but your child.