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Original poster

Partner left me while pregnant now his mum is viewing my social media

138 replies

Babygirlmum · 04/05/2022 18:16

My partner left me when i was 11 weeks pregnant after telling him as he didn't want to be a dad and apparently he couldn't be one, after a stressful and hard 9 months I give birth to my beautiful daughter I haven't been in contact with him to tell him as he made it clear he didn't want to know the baby but I have now had my beautiful baby girl she is 5 weeks old and I don't know if he knows she is born as there is a possibility but also a chance he doesn't know, his mum has viewed my Instagram story and seen my daughter I don't know why she is searching me up as I don't have her on any social media she has looked up up but I don't understand why as they don't want anything to do with the baby she is a foster carer and has supported her son on not having any contact with her son why is this woman viewing my social media?

OP posts:
ZealAndArdour · 04/05/2022 19:21

Makes no sense to have public social media but then want to monitor and control who looks at it. Those people usually have it on public precisely in the hopes of someone looking who they feel shouldn’t be, so they’ve got themselves a little drama to keep them busy.

Make it private or block her account if you don’t want her looking.

Maybe she’s sad that she won’t get to have a relationship with her grandchild? Maybe she’s just nosy? Maybe she’s monitoring so that she can tell her son to give up working in readiness for the CMS claim? Who bloody knows?!

whynotwhatknot · 04/05/2022 19:21

People are curious we dont know what her son has been telling her-id you know anyone can look at your pics then just carry on she cant do much

are you going to claim cms

springtimeishereagain · 04/05/2022 19:21

She's a foster cater? Christ on a bike.

She's probably curious, that's why she's looking at your Insta.

I hope your ex is paying CMS. Congrats on your baby!

springtimeishereagain · 04/05/2022 19:22

Carer 🙄

Jjnbftgkhfrvjudv · 04/05/2022 19:23

Babygirlmum · 04/05/2022 18:31

I may if missed a few things out this woman has been nasty towards me and does infact support her son I'm not being a dad to his own daughter and has made that clear and if I'm right she's probably part of his decision because it's the type of woman I can imagine her to be however I'm not sure why she is viewing my social media.

Why is your social media public? I think her viewing your story is the last thing you need to worry about. What about all the other weird people on the internet that have access to your babies pictures ?

Neverhot · 04/05/2022 19:24

I'm sometimes have a look at my ex's social media profile, or look at pics of their new partners. I don't want them back, doesn't mean anything, just curiosity 🤷🏻‍♀️

LetHimHaveIt · 04/05/2022 19:24

I don't think you understand what 'bitter' means . . . 🙄

VioletHills · 04/05/2022 19:26

It really is simple make your profiles private. Everyone on here has said that but maybe it seems you like the drama or like having an open profile so it might make your ex look at your pictures and get in contact regarding your daughter.

bigbeautifulmonster · 04/05/2022 19:27

LorenzoVonMatterhorn · 04/05/2022 18:23

Agree with the others.

lock down your accounts.
put in the claim to the child maintenance service.
get better contraception in place.

how old is the gobshite?

Sorry but this made me burst out laughing

DinoRock · 04/05/2022 19:28

If she's a Foster carer I would be ultra careful about her seeing your social media in case she uses it as evidence for some sort of social services request to look after your child.

Elseaknows · 04/05/2022 19:31

IF YOU DON'T WANT ANYONE LOOKING DON'T HAVE THE PHOTO PUBLIC.

However I do think it's curiosity on her part. (Probably to check to see if your DD looks like her son.)
People aren't being rude on this post, they are being realistic. Get onto CMS. Get him to pay for his kid. Expect people to see photos of your child that you splash all over the net. Even ones that you don't like....

PumpkinsandKittens · 04/05/2022 19:32

DinoRock · 04/05/2022 19:28

If she's a Foster carer I would be ultra careful about her seeing your social media in case she uses it as evidence for some sort of social services request to look after your child.

In what way exactly? It’s not an ss matter if the op has an open Sm?

DinoRock · 04/05/2022 19:35

PumpkinsandKittens · 04/05/2022 19:32

In what way exactly? It’s not an ss matter if the op has an open Sm?

Show quote history

No just thinking if the OP posts something the nosey one thinks is bad she might screenshot it. Say she goes out and gets drunk a lot. Not saying that it's a basis for any SS involvement at all just that she might now the system a bit more than the average person so depends on her motives. Which are probably just curiosity so nothing to be worried about but it was just a thought.

serenghetti2011 · 04/05/2022 19:37

Sorry to say that people saying lock down your social media and prevent randoms from seeing any pics of your child aren’t being bitter and nasty. Surely it’s common sense to protect your child. Unless you somehow wanted him/her to see her, and I won’t blame you it must be hard That he doesn’t want to see his beautiful baby girl.

Be the best mum she can have, it’s his loss. If he wants access at any point then you will need to think about that but hopefully not,sad for your daughter but maybe for the best. But keep her off social media or lock it right down. Mil is perhaps just curious, it’s allowed but you inadvertently gave her access so you can’t really be annoyed.

Hertsgirl10 · 04/05/2022 19:39

She’s being nosy and probably wants to see if baby looks like her son, God only knows what he’s told her.

Keep your profile private, especially when you have children, if she can via pics of your child then any weirdo can.

KatieC0811 · 04/05/2022 19:40

I can't believe so many people are saying that nobody has been rude! I can see a LOT of rude & judgey comments...
"How long were you with the father before you fell pregnant" , "sort out better contraception" to name but a few!!
Sorry people have been such dicks op, all of this is of course irrelevant!!
Congratulations on your baby girl, and I would say that the guys mother is probably just being nosey, if its bothering you (which it would me) block her, if you don't mind just move past it, and think nothing of it xx

Hertsgirl10 · 04/05/2022 19:48

Just seen your update.

I’m sorry but you sound VERY naive and I’m not sure why you think people are against the app? No one has said that? Only advises that you safeguard your child on social media.

I honestly hope that you go and follow Adam Whittington on Instagram because he is very clear on safeguarding children on social media and will teach you every danger that posting your children to even locked social media profile pictures, which pictures are ok and which are inappropriate… and they don’t need to be naked pics, even down to what’s in your bio.

Please don’t take any of these comments personally and ignore because your understanding of this subject isn’t great so take the time to look up why so many people have said the same thing, and it’s not because anyone wants to spoil the fun or don’t like a certain app.

You would be very surprised what ends up on the dark web & how certain people male and female that prey on people like you that innocently put things up, and befriend just to get close to the babies and children and your reaction to people trying to help is very worrying.

Littlepaws18 · 04/05/2022 19:48

Babygirlmum · 04/05/2022 18:41

Why is everybody so rude and bitter on this app I thought people come on it for support from other mums and parents and everyone just goes on their own rant!! Wow I don't understand if you have a bad comment dont comment at all!

They are giving you sound advice. You shouldn't be posting images of your child on social media if your profile isn't private. Literally anyone at any time can view the content you post and use those images for whatever they like.

Make your social media private and then she can't see your images. This really is a simple situation to solve!

MrsWooster · 04/05/2022 19:52

If she can see your daughter, so can every other freak and weirdo who stalks the internet looking for images of children. Lock your media and prioritise your child’s safety over likes and validation from randoms.

TonySmart · 04/05/2022 19:53

If you don't want her looking at your Instagram you should set it to private.

Littlepaws18 · 04/05/2022 19:54

Babygirlmum · 04/05/2022 19:07

The reason I posted originally was to see why people thought she was going out of her way to search my name knowing I have by now had my daughter not to judge what I am doing with my social media that is not what I asked for I know what I am doing and I can see who views my social media too soo I'm not concerned about that so I'm not sure why anybody else isHmm the reason for the post was what they thought about her actually viewing it after she has supported her son I'm not wanting to be a dad is she not torturing herself knowing she is not going to be a part of my beautiful daughters life out of her own choice.

You don't know what you are doing. By posting images of your child in a public forum you are placing your child at risk at any stranger viewing and using those images. The minute you post them you no longer have control of that image.

Also by putting them out there you are risking the father seeing images and this could open a whole hornets nest of trouble as you are finding out.

You aren't in control of those images. Take back control.

Hertsgirl10 · 04/05/2022 19:57

Babygirlmum · 04/05/2022 19:10

@Hallyup89 would you give someone a chance to see your child if they told you they don't want anything to do with them and they never want to be a part of their life

@Babygirlmum

I would give someone a chance yes.

I’m sorry but with every reply you give it seems like you’re very immature and I suspect you’re either very young or have some learning difficulties.

Your child has a right to have family links and yes they might have acted rude or whatever in the past but you need to think of your child and not about your feelings.

She might have been fed so many lies from her prick of a son and believed it then and could have realised now that it may not be true.

Gagaandgag · 04/05/2022 20:16

Wisteriaroundthedoor · 04/05/2022 19:21

No one has been rude op, I think you just don’t like the answers

were you maybe hoping it was a sign that he was interested in your child and there was a chance he’d come back?

the reality is, I’m sorry, even if she does support her sons decision, which I’m sure you're right about, she’s just curious. I think that’s natural and understandable. It very likely doesn’t mean more than that, I’m sorry.

This OP!

  • congratulations on your beautiful baby x
Unsure33 · 04/05/2022 20:22

Do you know what her ex has told her for her to be like this ?

you say she is a foster carer so has obviously invited children into her life , so it seems like a bit of an odd reaction ?

Mammy55 · 04/05/2022 20:30

I have to have a completely locked down social media due to a family issue. It’s entirely private, do not have anyone on there you do not know and trust. Don’t have anyone on there that’s a risk of screenshotting and sending pictures. Don’t have your child in any profile pictures social media/what’s app. Lock down your Facebook completely. Delete old friends you don’t really know anymore. Only have people you 100% trust with the best intentions for you and your child. You can still follow them if you want to be nosey but they don’t need to see anything of yours. Also remove random people from Snapchat if you have that.