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Original poster

Partner left me while pregnant now his mum is viewing my social media

138 replies

Babygirlmum · 04/05/2022 18:16

My partner left me when i was 11 weeks pregnant after telling him as he didn't want to be a dad and apparently he couldn't be one, after a stressful and hard 9 months I give birth to my beautiful daughter I haven't been in contact with him to tell him as he made it clear he didn't want to know the baby but I have now had my beautiful baby girl she is 5 weeks old and I don't know if he knows she is born as there is a possibility but also a chance he doesn't know, his mum has viewed my Instagram story and seen my daughter I don't know why she is searching me up as I don't have her on any social media she has looked up up but I don't understand why as they don't want anything to do with the baby she is a foster carer and has supported her son on not having any contact with her son why is this woman viewing my social media?

OP posts:
PeekAtYou · 04/05/2022 18:50

I'd be making my SM private so she couldn't screenshot/screen record and do that abusive routine of pretending that she had a grandchild who she's not allowed to see.

DinoRock · 04/05/2022 18:53

I don't see rude or bitterness. Just advice on online privacy.

TabithaTittlemouse · 04/05/2022 18:56

I don’t think people have been rude. They’ve suggested that she might be curious and encouraged you to lock down your social media.

m What did you want people to say? She’s a bitch, how dare she?

TabithaTittlemouse · 04/05/2022 18:57

Why would people be feeling bitter?

Original poster
Babygirlmum · 04/05/2022 18:57

She's the type of judgemental mother that said at the beginning baby is probably not her sons and my daughter is the imagine of him and now she has seen my daughter.

OP posts:
stimpyyouidiot · 04/05/2022 18:58

I really would advise against having a public profile and posting your baby on it

emmakenny · 04/05/2022 18:59

Lock down your social media. If you don't it's because you obviously want them to see your dad. It's not hard.

FelixMadrigal · 04/05/2022 19:00

The reason is obvious. She’s curious. She has a grandchild that she’s never met and may not ever meet. I’d want to see pictures of my grandchild.

This wouldn’t be an issue if your social media was locked/private. Please protect pictures of your lovely daughter. Congratulations.

TokyoTen · 04/05/2022 19:02

If you don't want her viewing your posts either don't post... or lock down your privacy settings.

Collardgreens · 04/05/2022 19:03

It is understandable that you are finding her behaviour intrusive.

People Google everything. She has googled you to see your baby, and it has probably felt like a bit of a hammer blow to you, as you are contentedly immersed in life with your newborn.

Putting controls on your social media will prevent further intrusions. Assume that is the end of it.

Enjoy your baby. Don’t let what has gone before spoil the magic of being with her.

Hallyup89 · 04/05/2022 19:06

Maybe she's trying to kick some sense into her son by showing him pictures of his daughter, and why shouldn't she want to see her too? You clearly haven't bothered to give them a chance to see her.

Original poster
Babygirlmum · 04/05/2022 19:07

The reason I posted originally was to see why people thought she was going out of her way to search my name knowing I have by now had my daughter not to judge what I am doing with my social media that is not what I asked for I know what I am doing and I can see who views my social media too soo I'm not concerned about that so I'm not sure why anybody else isHmm the reason for the post was what they thought about her actually viewing it after she has supported her son I'm not wanting to be a dad is she not torturing herself knowing she is not going to be a part of my beautiful daughters life out of her own choice.

OP posts:
PumpkinsandKittens · 04/05/2022 19:09

Hallyup89 · 04/05/2022 19:06

Maybe she's trying to kick some sense into her son by showing him pictures of his daughter, and why shouldn't she want to see her too? You clearly haven't bothered to give them a chance to see her.

Have you actually read the ops posts? The father doesn’t want to see the child and his mum supports this, so why would the op give them a chance to see her? 🙄

Original poster
Babygirlmum · 04/05/2022 19:10

@Hallyup89 would you give someone a chance to see your child if they told you they don't want anything to do with them and they never want to be a part of their life

OP posts:
BashfulClam · 04/05/2022 19:12

People aren’t being rude, you seem a bit sensitive. They are right, lock dune your social media. I had to spell this out first someone I know who has a public profile with her picture being her naked kids in the bath 🙄

Beelezebub · 04/05/2022 19:13

No one’s bitter. They’re just pointing out that if you don’t want your daughter’s grandmother to see the photos you post of her on the internet, then locking your accounts down would be prudent. They’re also pointing out that curiosity is only natural.

DinoRock · 04/05/2022 19:14

is she not torturing herself knowing she is not going to be a part of my beautiful daughters life out of her own choice. she might be she might not be she might be like aHh right yes that looks like my son I best give him warning he can expect to pay maintenance so maybe he should offer. She might have just wanted to see if your child did look like her son after doubting paternity. Does it matter? If he's not interested then she can think whatever she likes.

DinoRock · 04/05/2022 19:15

Babygirlmum · 04/05/2022 19:10

@Hallyup89 would you give someone a chance to see your child if they told you they don't want anything to do with them and they never want to be a part of their life

No I wouldn't, which is why I would have locked down my social media so she didn’t get to see updates on them.

TabithaTittlemouse · 04/05/2022 19:16

the reason for the post was what they thought about her actually viewing it after she has supported her son I'm not wanting to be a dad is she not torturing herself knowing she is not going to be a part of my beautiful daughters life out of her own choice.

if my social media was open I probably wouldn’t think much of it tbh. If she has decided that she really doesn’t want anything to do with your dd it probably isn’t torture at all. Curious or nosiness.

Do you want for them to have a relationship?

Teach234 · 04/05/2022 19:17

If you know what your doing with your social media as you put it then you know she can view what she wants on your profile.

You can stop this in 2 ways as you probably know by blocking her and making your profile private.
Unless you want her and other strangers to keep looking?

PutinIsAWarCriminal · 04/05/2022 19:17

I think its natural for her to look at the photos too. She is going to have a rose tinted view of her ds, and has only heard his side of the story, which is probably why she has been nasty - although how any mother could stand by a man who behaved like this towards his own baby I will never understand. On the other hand she could just be a nasty cow and the apple (her son) didn't fall far from the tree, in which case you are well rid. Whilst she has no claim on your child she is bound to be curious. I know I'm nosey on sm. I would agree with everyone who says keep photos of your baby just for your private family and friends only account.

Lemonsandlemonade · 04/05/2022 19:19

Nobody is being bitter. Thing with social media is if you post pictures of your daughter on it then anybody can see it unless you make it private. You can’t blame her or stop her but you can stop putting pictures of your daughter on it.

ineedsun · 04/05/2022 19:19

Lots of people have told you what they think, that it’s curiosity and if your account is visible to the public there’s nothing you can do about it.
If you don’t want her seeing it, lock your social media down. If you want to keep it open, accept that people you don’t want to look at it, will.

BlanketsBanned · 04/05/2022 19:19

if she views your posts and pictures then she can pass them on to other people so you have no real control over who sees them. I wouldn't post pictures of a baby on insta, you really don't know who can view it. congratulations btw.

Wisteriaroundthedoor · 04/05/2022 19:21

No one has been rude op, I think you just don’t like the answers

were you maybe hoping it was a sign that he was interested in your child and there was a chance he’d come back?

the reality is, I’m sorry, even if she does support her sons decision, which I’m sure you're right about, she’s just curious. I think that’s natural and understandable. It very likely doesn’t mean more than that, I’m sorry.