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Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

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Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

Lone parents

Am I the only one who can't contemplate a one night stand?

77 replies

harman · 26/12/2007 15:54

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harman · 26/12/2007 18:03

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NKF · 26/12/2007 18:09

Well, there will always be men who don't want a relationship. And there will be men who don't want a serious relationship. And ones who don't want a relationship with women who have children. If you want a relationship, then you have to avoid those types.

Online dating? Many single parents swear by it.

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harman · 26/12/2007 18:13

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expatinscotland · 26/12/2007 18:18

Oh, yes, I'd say you need to try again!

And learn to laugh at disastrous dates.

They can be quite funny.

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anorak · 26/12/2007 18:19

Well harman you have to meet a lot of men before you find one that's right for you, and it works in reverse too! It doesn't mean there's something wrong with you if a man doesn't want a relationship with you, it's probably just that you're not right for each other. It's a numbers game, for everyone, not just for you! If you want to do something about it the best thing you can do is make some kind of a change so that you can meet a wider variety of people. Take up a hobby or join a club for example.

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1066andallthat · 26/12/2007 18:19

OK - I have three criteria for my next man: good sex, good company and good with my kids and I WILL NOT accept less .

Harman, realistically, I don't know what the chances are for either of us but, meantime, hold onto what everyone is saying - YOU are worth it.

Four kids are not baggage - they are life, they have helped make you the very special and tolerant person you are. So, you may not be brimming with self-confidence right now, but I promise you when you are in love with the right bloke - you will be.

BTW, I wept as I watched "Dear Frankie".

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expatinscotland · 26/12/2007 18:20

And don't join it or do it just to meet men.

Make sure it's something you enjoy!

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SantaBabyBeenAnAwfulGoodGirl · 26/12/2007 18:23

i think you have to meet a lot of men which is hard work and gets a bit tedious im finding in fact ive only met two out of about a billion

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NKF · 26/12/2007 18:25

Personally, I'd only take up an evening class if I was interested in the subject. Evening classes ae full of women anyway. Two disastrous dates aren't that many are they? Surely if you don't think of every date as your introduction to your next husband, how bad can it be?

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harman · 26/12/2007 18:55

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NKF · 26/12/2007 18:58

I'm sure whoever said it was a numbers game is correct.
Good luck with whatever you try.

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lou33 · 26/12/2007 19:06

By harman on Wed 26-Dec-07 17:51:59
I do know what you mean MW, I am hardly a good catch, single with 4 young kids, as I've said I'm not exactly beating them off with a stick. (Altho Lou doesn't seem to have a problem )

lol!

one night stands are overrated and at some point you get fed up with them and start feeling slightly soiled , imo

that doesnt mean to say they dont have their time and place, just not that often

plus any one nighters i have had , have all been people i already knew, not random blokes in dodgy bars

i have a date potentially planned for jan when the kids are back to school, but i havent seen anyone since the end of nov , when i got rid of someone pretending to be my bf

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Janos · 26/12/2007 21:43

Yes, what lou said!

Perhaps if you could cultivate some nice male friends that you could call on when needed...god that sounds a bit sleazy. I'm not a sleazebag, honest.

But anyway, try online dating..why not? There are some nice blokes out there. And you don't have to sleep with them if you don't want to. End of.

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lou33 · 26/12/2007 21:57

lol janos, at cultivating male friends

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expatinscotland · 26/12/2007 22:09

I bow to the knowledge of lou!

Honestly, she couldn't be more spot on.

I had one-nighters because I was coming off a divorce and a bad relationship and needed a quick fix.

But most of all, harman, the big thing is to start letting go of the idea that you're in any way 'sad'.

Puhleeze!

I'll show you sad! Man, you should see some of the losers I went out with. That was sad.

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SantaBabyBeenAnAwfulGoodGirl · 26/12/2007 22:14

i think yoiu are bound to make a few mistakes along the way..but thats not sad

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expatinscotland · 26/12/2007 22:16

No doubt, santa!

We've been reading from the same page lately.

Mistake is my middle name!

It's all part of experience and living.

But harman, most of all, you're in need of a long look in the mirror, because you are anything but sad.

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harman · 26/12/2007 22:17

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expatinscotland · 26/12/2007 22:34

Well, that's why you have MN, harman!

How can someone who did what you did, who went through what you did and came out on the other side, be sad?

For real, ask yourself that?

Because so many of us were around when it all went down.

That was pure mettle, woman! That was like, 'Wow! She's amazing!'

That's who you are, harman.

And so what if you can't contemplate a one-night stand?

BFD.

Doesn't mean you're sad.

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harman · 26/12/2007 22:41

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expatinscotland · 26/12/2007 22:43

See, harman, that's why you're amazing!

That last post says it all.

You don't need one-nighters, anyway.

They're overrated, as both lou and I can tell you .

Bob always did me right .