Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Lone parents

Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

Original poster

Am I the only one who can't contemplate a one night stand?

77 replies

harman · 26/12/2007 15:54

Message withdrawn

OP posts:
SantaBabyBeenAnAwfulGoodGirl · 26/12/2007 16:01

i dont think you are at all...its not what i would choose either

scatterbrain · 26/12/2007 16:03

I think the world is divided into those who treat sex casually and those who treat it as part of a proper relationship only. I'm with you on this - I would never want to sleep with some one who I didn't know and who didn't know me !

For me the sex would not be worth it without the relationship - but some people are happy to get their kicks from the sex alone I guess.

Original poster
harman · 26/12/2007 16:07

Message withdrawn

OP posts:
FlllightAttendant · 26/12/2007 16:24

Oh harman, I feel just the same, one night stands just sound abysmally awful as a whole concept, I would never want to sleep with someone I didn't know really well, ever again! I have a feeling that yes, we may end up alone...but hopefully our high standards will prevent us being embroiled in anything stupid, at least!
I would probably have slept with an old boyfriend, a few years ago, if we hadn't been interrupted by Ds1 but he knew me really well. or so I thought...turns out he was in love with someone else at the time and using me. Just a snog was painful to get over...

FlllightAttendant · 26/12/2007 16:25

...the whole point is that they have to know you, isn't it? Someone I met in a bar one evening, well no thanks!

ISawSantaKissingKerrysNorks · 26/12/2007 16:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
harman · 26/12/2007 16:54

Message withdrawn

OP posts:
SantaBabyBeenAnAwfulGoodGirl · 26/12/2007 17:06

well you can never know that for sure you have to take a chance at some point thast you may get hurt

Original poster
harman · 26/12/2007 17:13

Message withdrawn

OP posts:
anorak · 26/12/2007 17:17

There is absolutely no reason why you should be pressured into sex before you're ready just because there are other people who have a more casual attitude than you. You do what is right for you. If a man is worth sleeping with he will take the time to make you feel relaxed and you will know when you are ready. If he isn't going to do that, he isn't the man for you and you are quite right to trust your instincts.

I don't believe you will be single forever, you're lovely and there a lots of nice men out there who would love to have you and the children. It's hooking up with them that's the tricky bit!

Elizabetth · 26/12/2007 17:20

Nothing wrong in not wanting to have one-night stands.

It sounds like this guy has made you feel bad if you cried after a date with him. Did you get the impression that he was looking at you as a walking opportunity to get his leg over rather than as a human being?

As for Love Actually, I can't begin to list the ways I hate that film. Richard Curtis probably designed it to make people who are on their own feel inadequate, not that his depiction of love even looks like that much fun.

Original poster
harman · 26/12/2007 17:20

Message withdrawn

OP posts:
Original poster
harman · 26/12/2007 17:22

Message withdrawn

OP posts:
anorak · 26/12/2007 17:40

Ha ha harman I have nothing better to do at the moment since I have strict orders to rest. At the risk of making you cry again, I have the highest admiration for you, having to courage to get out of an abusive relationship when you were pregnant with your fourth child and tackle raising those kids on your own. I don't know what job could be more challenging but you chose to make a dignified exit from that marriage and take that challenge on because you knew the difference between right and wrong and you wanted better for yourself and your children.

If you don't think those qualities are things a man might see and admire then the problem is obvious to me...you're not bumping into the right men!

And don't forget I know what you look like so you can't get away with all this 'I'm ugly' rubbish you pitch here from time to time on me

anorak · 26/12/2007 17:41

on MN I mean, not on me!!

SantaBabyBeenAnAwfulGoodGirl · 26/12/2007 17:44

i didnt mean you had to take a chance and have a one night stnd and get hurt but in a relationship sooner or later you will have to take a chance

Original poster
harman · 26/12/2007 17:45

Message withdrawn

OP posts:
expatinscotland · 26/12/2007 17:46

I doubt you're alone in this.

I just can't say I'm one of those who can't contemplate it, much less indulge in one. Over and over again .

Hell, there was a time when, if it weren't for one-nighters, I wouldn't have had a sex life at all.

anorak · 26/12/2007 17:47

Your life and your routine is bound to change along with the growth of your children. You will meet someone nice eventually You will Believe it

MulledWino · 26/12/2007 17:48

Not single so sorry for butting in.. but no I couldn't, haven't and wouldn't either. At least I don't think so.

I have a disabled child and it occured to me a while ago that in the event (heaven forbid) or me ever finding myself sindle, then one night stands would probably be my only option and NO man in his right mind would take me on with my baggage!!

Original poster
harman · 26/12/2007 17:50

Message withdrawn

OP posts:
NKF · 26/12/2007 17:50

Reading about some of the relationships on here, I'd say some one night stands sound preferable.

expatinscotland · 26/12/2007 17:51

Well, harman, my pal Rob put it perfecty when he said, 'Expat, men don't care.'

And they don't, for the most part.

They're getting laid, man!

There's always Bob. The battery-operated boyfriend.

Original poster
harman · 26/12/2007 17:51

Message withdrawn

OP posts:
expatinscotland · 26/12/2007 17:56

Well, hello, harman!? Attitude is everything.

What do you mean, not a good catch?

How can you say taht about yourself, when you're strong, determined, funny, organised, caring?

I mean, really, what does someone as good a catch as you need with someone who's hooked on something so superficial as looks?