Other parent’s attitude towards single mother at a private school

[hotsunnyweathered]

Hi everyone. I’ve been a happy single mother since my verbally and physically abusive husband left me when I was 4 months pregnant. My only child goes to a private school and we have always been snubbed and judged by almost all parents and at times treated unfairly and judged by some teachers. If I speak up I and my son receive hostility from parents. My son has no friends who want to play with him outside of school and this was happening well before covid.
I am a successful stylist and some mothers talk to me as I am stupid because they are more academic. I say nothing but it saddens me. I don’t want to date as I am happy focusing on myself, my son and work.
I would like more than anything for a few mums to be friendly but no one/parent ever asked me and my son if he would like to play and if I ask I get silence. I do ask but no response but the usual that everyone is busy.
A friend said he thinks it’s because you look attractive and you are single. I just want to put it out there that I have zero interest in anyone’s partner / husband and would just love to have one or two mums I could meet for a walk or a tea with. A single mother teacher at the school is leaving as she like me agree that there is no sense of camaraderie or community in the school.
Some mums I did like have left over a year ago.
I was also told a few years ago when starting the school by another mum that a group of mothers were gossiping negatively about me and my son and it was around me being single.
Currently I’m very happy not having an abusive husband or boyfriend in my life and me and my son are happy. My son gets terribly lonely sometimes and that’s what hurts me. I have a few years left but it feels like a lonely death sentance and I can’t afford to move or cause disruption to my son who is currently working hard and doing well in subjects at school.
Sometimes there is an attitude of “what are you doing here” yet no one has ever said “how are you doing and would you like to join me on a walk or for a tea?”.

@Hoppinggreen you're very reactive

They're not all living up to the stereotype, but if are you pretending that there is no stereotype and no 'type' and then it's pointless for me to try and explain that to you.

Why would there be a demand for private schools if the parents didn't feel they were getting more for their money, shielding their child from
more ordinary children?

The Little Lord Faunteleroys I referred to were from my own school back in the 80s. And that was how they seemed to me, as a teenager. That was my observation and I stand by it. Just to remind you, this was my school experience and I know that I'm entitled to my perception of my life.

Cheers Pearl and thanks for the wine. Back at you but I’m rubbish at the emojis
I probably AM reactive, you are right but I just get pissed off when people who send their Dc Private are lumped together into one homogeneous group. We are all different and people have different reasons for sending their DC to Private School, undoubtedly some do it to shield their kids from the rabble but not all of us do and to be totally fair to you I can think of a few “little Lord/Lady Fauntleroys. My DC both started Private school in Y7 from quite a mixed Primary and some of the kids who had been at the school from age 3 were absolutely in a bubble - one parent got very upset with DD when she asked if her sofas were from Ikea (John Lewis actually) but those families are in the minority.
We are in Yorkshire so no Bankers or Oligarchs dc at The school and most of us are pretty ordinary (albeit fortunate enough to have enough money to send our kids there or have family who help out) but I really don’t recognise a “type” amongst the families I know. I fully appreciate your experience may have been different

Challengerice and Hoppinggreen, nice to see how keen you both are spending your time and effort here with your aggressive tones to show everyone. If I say you’re not helping do you think you could both refrain and not give me anymore of your energy? Why bother to come on this thread? You enjoy fighting? Maybe you are the very people I am discussing. I am glad this is monitored by Mumsnet. Your worth is nought.

I just spent an afternoon with married women who are friends out of school. They too were disgusted at both of your attitudes and remarks.

Thanks to everyone else who is normal with sound answers that constructively have given me different perspectives to look at my situation from. This has been positive and I appreciate your thoughts.

Unfortunately private schools can be very snobby. In fact I have heard complaints that "they were letting the riffraff in now" when they dropped the parental interview for year 3 and above entry in favour of just an exam (younger it's an assessment and obviously the parent is there). For some parents one of the drivers of choosing private school is to ensure they mix with the right kind of families, I doubt stylist is on their list of suitable jobs ... for what's it's worth this is one of the reasons we state educated mostly, we could afford private but hated the atmosphere, Dd2 did attend private later for reasons that are outing.

Yep, they definitely don’t hate you just because you are single

@Hoppinggreen@Challengerice

Nope it’s because apparently mothers and women like you exist. You both sound utterly hideous people and I would avoid you both like the plague, I’m sure you would come together with other like minded women however and be the culprits of such behaviour that the OP is describing.