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Original poster

Have met gorgeous man after my horrible heart-break, but he just want to be friends..

53 replies

allgonebellyup · 04/11/2007 08:34

Some of you may know what a truly horrible time of it i have had lately; split up with ex after months of bickering, decided i wanted him to come back, and i still loved him so much. He said no.
Then just as i thought i was at breaking point he tells me he has met someone else and they are having a baby (after being together 6wks!)

i am/was so so low, contemplating suicide last week, seeing mental health nurse, counsellors,taking ADs etc.

i met a lovely bloke on the internet, met up with him a couple of times , he is gorgeous and being with him has been the only time i have had FUN since the whole thing with my ex.
BUT, he isnt looking for a relationship, just a "friend to have fun with."
He texted me to say he had a great time with me and we should go out again soon.
But as friends i think.
WTF???
Should i let it go before i get hurt??

OP posts:
BBBee · 04/11/2007 08:37

let go before you get hurt.

you can do better.

Original poster
allgonebellyup · 04/11/2007 08:38

but maybe just his friendship will cheer me up????

OP posts:
Lulumamaintheskywithfireworks · 04/11/2007 08:40

not if you are wanting something more

maybe a break from relationships would be beneficial in the long run

do you have girlfriends to go out with and have fun? people who know you, and know what you have been going through and can support you ?

zippitippitoes · 04/11/2007 08:43

I can see the temptation but if he says he just wants fun then that is what he wants ie sex predominantly..so you will get hurt undoubtedly if it isn't just that you want..you won't convert him to having a relationship and most likely he will see lots of other people at the same time..if you can't handle that..which blatantly you can't then drop him

someone else will come along

Original poster
allgonebellyup · 04/11/2007 08:43

yes i have been out with my girlfriends, but i feel like i am always looking for someone else to meet, to take away the pain i feel from the situation with ex.
Being with this bloke made me feel like i could laugh, and flirt, and be happy (momentarily)and it has been the ONE THING THAT GOT MY EX OFF MY MIND.

i just need something to take my mind off him. So surely if i am so hung up over my ex then nobody else can really hurt me?? And i can just go out with this bloke and have a laugh, and put up with just being his friend??

OP posts:
Original poster
allgonebellyup · 04/11/2007 08:45

By the way i dont think he even wants sex, just someone (female) to "hang out" with..

OP posts:
zippitippitoes · 04/11/2007 08:46

well you know yourself best

this guy will be seeing other girls tho....does that bother you and he will be unpredictable he may see you and text you to start with but get bored pretty quick

Lulumamaintheskywithfireworks · 04/11/2007 08:47

no-one else can take the pain away, you need to deal with it, and then move on from it, being distracted by another man is just that, a distraction..

it;s a horrible situation

Original poster
allgonebellyup · 04/11/2007 08:48

yes i guess

but i told him yesterday i had deleted his number from my phone at one point (we had lost contact) and he was really peed off.
he keeps promising to take me to london for lots of nights out, and i just want to flirt with someone gorgeous (him!) and have FUN!!

OP posts:
zippitippitoes · 04/11/2007 08:48

your op implied you want him to be more than a friend..if you aint bothered about it being casual then it's ok

Original poster
allgonebellyup · 04/11/2007 08:49

yes lulumama

thats how i describe it exactly...

i need the distraction.

OP posts:
Original poster
allgonebellyup · 04/11/2007 08:50

zippi, not sure what i want..prob not anything long term but dont want to be used either..

but think i have worked it out,( thanks lulumama!), i just need a distraction!!!!!

OP posts:
NotQuiteCockney · 04/11/2007 08:50

He might have some cute friends who would want to be more than friends? [optimistic]

Nothing wrong with enjoying a distraction in the interim, anyway.

zippitippitoes · 04/11/2007 08:51

well if it's just a brief fling then carry on if it's what you want..just don't expect he is going to be reliable

Lulumamaintheskywithfireworks · 04/11/2007 08:51

a casual distraction is good

as long as it stays that way ! or you will be more hurt

charliecat · 04/11/2007 08:51

Go for it

Original poster
allgonebellyup · 04/11/2007 08:52

Maybe he has nice mates - though he works for an airline so they are mostly female!

OP posts:
zippitippitoes · 04/11/2007 08:52

I'm in much the same position tbh

NotQuiteCockney · 04/11/2007 08:52

Guys, I don't think they're sleeping together, they really are just friends.

zippitippitoes · 04/11/2007 08:53

minus the gorgeous man tho lol..

Original poster
allgonebellyup · 04/11/2007 08:54

To be honest i dont even think he wants a fling!! so there may be no snogging, sex or anything!

think he just wants new (female) mates!!!
He is v caring when i have told him my situation, gave me hugs, maybe i just need his friendship more than anything, plus he is v yummy to look at!!

He could turn out to be a mate that i just fancy but take it no further?

OP posts:
charliecat · 04/11/2007 08:55

I am too, thinking along the lines of why should I sit about twiddling my fingers when I could be out having fun, but its me whos not sure about anything more than friends, simply because of the...oh heartbreak hassle involved.

zippitippitoes · 04/11/2007 08:55

well that is all hunky dory..i misunderstood your op..i thought you wanted a relationship with him

charliecat · 04/11/2007 08:58

If you get pissed with him are you likely to try and throw yourself at him?

zippitippitoes · 04/11/2007 09:00

actually i just reread your op...are you sure you are being honest with yourself

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