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Original poster

I hate men. sorry.

501 replies

MascaraOHara · 27/09/2007 21:50

but there's nobody here to talk to and I just had to get that off my chest.

And I hate myself for being so hopeful when I meet someone I think I could really like.

It's just wanky.

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lou33 · 09/11/2007 16:38

i usually go out on a fri night, but the thought of doing so tonight makes me want to weep

staying in as i feel really tired

Original poster
MascaraOHara · 09/11/2007 16:39

It's nice to want to stay in sometimes.. I rare;y get out so it's a treat for me to have from tonight until sunday to myself - as a grown up.. no dd. Not sure I'll know what to do with myself lol

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lou33 · 09/11/2007 16:45

lol

i'm probably away overnight tomorrow with the guy i am seeing again, so quite fancy staying in with the kids tonight, tho i have been invited out

anyway back to looking good, i was complimented by 2 other people this afternoon as well, a female friend of mine, and a bloke i know through her (tho he is always asking me out so him sucking up is not unusual lol)

just shows you how rarely i wear anything other than jeans and a t shirt, for 3 people to pass comment!

Original poster
MascaraOHara · 09/11/2007 16:47

LOL.. it makes you feel really good when people notice doesn't it! Gives you a lift.

Agree it will be nice to stay in if you are away overnight tomorrow (have fun!)

OP posts:
lou33 · 09/11/2007 16:48

yes, i dont like going out 2 nights ina row, it means i dont see hte kids and i feel crap

i had to do it last weekend and i felt shite for days

Original poster
MascaraOHara · 09/11/2007 16:52

Don't feel bad.. you're entitled to a life!

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Raffaella · 09/11/2007 18:36

MOH stop the teasing NOW. It just keeps you hanging on in there and will not let you move on in the way you have to.

I've been in a similar position a few years ago and (like Dior) I learnt the hard way. To be honest, if he wanted to be with you he would. End of.

Sorry if I sound harsh but having been through similar I know how hard it is to let go.

Now get ready and have a great weekend! Do NOT text, ok?!

lou33 · 09/11/2007 19:52

lol i didnt feel shite from guilt, just because i couldnt handle two late nights in a row!

the kids were fine, they had a friend of mine down to see them , he bought them about 50 quids worth of fireworks

Original poster
MascaraOHara · 12/11/2007 09:43

lol, sorry!

he text me on Friday night just before I was about to go out.. basically saying he didn't see what choice we had but to end it and that something was missing.. I was so pissed off I sent a text back saying the only thing missing was his enthusiasm. But I was so cross and pissed off (and looking fab) that I thought I'm not going to let him ruin my night. I called him when I got in my car and had a massive go at him. He really wound me up. He knew I was going out that night!

Was on the phone for the 30 mins it took me to get from mine to where I was staying. the last 10 minutes were spent with me saying that I admitted defeat and couldn't be bothered with this anymore so would say bye - each time I tried to end the conversation he fell silent. I think once I even said "are you going to say bye then because I have to go".. so he said "it's you, you confuse me" my response was "great what does that mean". Anyway eventually I said "look I have to go, I'll see you OK" and he blurted out that he wanted to give it another go. I said we'd have to talk about it more another time and that I had to go.. so guess what guys.. back to square flipping one. Spoke to him briefly Saturday and not had any contact since.

FFS I'm even boring myself now.

OP posts:
lou33 · 12/11/2007 09:47

lol moh, i sympathise

my on off relationship with the young gardener is now back on, we just spent the last 2 weekends with each other and went away on sat night, which was the first time we had been alone without my kids about

he seems serious this time, said the more time he spends with me the more he wants to be with me

i was adamant i wasnt going to see him again, but there is a definite spark there, so i figure it's worth a try, i dont get that connection very often

Baffy · 12/11/2007 11:09

MoH - what a shit He knew you were going out and then throws that in about giving things another chance... he could see you moving on and couldn't cope!

Please please do not listen to anything he has to say. If he is really serious about this he will now go out of his way to make it up to you and do everything in his power to get you back.

Well let him try! Don't do a thing just now. Please! Keep moving forward yourself, wait and see just how hard he tries, and then, decide how you feel.

If you go back now he'll know he has you exactly where he wants you and he'll treat you like this forever

Time for you to be in control. Let him do the chasing if that's what he really wants. You don't need him. So just take your time to decide if you want him.

Original poster
MascaraOHara · 12/11/2007 11:18

I'm trying not to think about it too much, just getting on with life.. have had to sepnd most of the morning with him and we've talked purely about work.. although he picked some fluff off my top and asked me if I'd had a nose bleed then asked me why my neck was red and had I been scratching then when we were talking at my desk he ran his finger up my arm.. my answers were short to his questions and I didn't react to the touch. he looks like he's gone grey overnight! I really do not understand him at all.

I absolutely don't know how I feel right now.. I think he might have missed the boat with me, I think I may care a lot lot less than I did at the end of last week.

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Tinkerbel5 · 12/11/2007 12:38

MOH dont fall for it again, he always wants to give it another go when you pull away, I would even put a wager on it that he comes round and you get your hopes up and he comes out with the same old spill, he goes home and you are left hurt, he is a puppetmaster and pulls your strings every time you hint of moving on, when he wants to talk cause he wants you back say no you aren't interested, I really hope you wise up and soon as he is playing you like a fiddle

Raffaella · 12/11/2007 13:54

Yep totally agree with everyone. What an absolute arse he is.

You say you don't understand him at all - well that's because you are too close to the situation. Take it from those of us on the outside looking in so to speak, he really is stringing you along.

Come on you can do this don't play his game.

Am really for you though. It's a horrible situation to be in.

Original poster
MascaraOHara · 12/11/2007 14:06

I'm feeling OK at the minute so I'm hoping I'm starting to feel better. It's so hard to know that you want something so badly and yet you just can't have it. I feel like a spoilt brat wanting to stamp my feet.

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lou33 · 12/11/2007 14:37

i do tend to agree, gardener as back because i took control and didnt chase him, then when i did see him again it was because i needed someone to escort me for the nght, i made it clear he was just that

think he saw what he was missing out on and made a lot of effort to persuade me and convince me that he meant what he said this time, which was the more time he spent with me the more he wanted to see me, and he wanted me to himself

but it was because i took charge and didnt let him piss all over me, i think

if you decide to give him another go, let it be because it is what you want and not ebcause he says so

let him do the legwork to win you back and regain your trust

Original poster
MascaraOHara · 12/11/2007 15:41

Yep it's up to him now but I'm not sure he'll actually make any effort.

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lou33 · 12/11/2007 17:09

then you have found out what he is really like

my new ym is sleeping, he's got "man flu" apparently

Original poster
MascaraOHara · 12/11/2007 17:10

ahhh, do you have a nurses outfit?? bet that'd knock the man flu on the head

OP posts:
lou33 · 12/11/2007 17:17

lol funny enough he has suggested that

i said only if i could use a rectal thermometer

Dior · 12/11/2007 20:41

Message withdrawn

Original poster
MascaraOHara · 13/11/2007 09:03

Well I got a text last night saying something a long the lines of "so... are you gonna cook me dinner tomorrow night?" I didn't know what to say so i text my friend and she said he was obviously trying to make an effort and of course I should say yes. So I said he could come round and to be honest now I feel really uneasy about it.. In one part of my mind I am racking my brains to think of something fantastic that I can cook but that will look like I've gone to no effort at all and on the other hand I'm worrying about what things will be like, he's seen me at my lowest - more rock bottom than any of my friends have ever seen me and I'm not sure how I feel about that. He looked really grey and old yesterday, I think my feelings towards him have changed.. why can't anything be flippin well easy..

Ideas of what to cook? flavours that will disguise arsenic? he's such a fussy eater as well.

OP posts:
Raffaella · 13/11/2007 09:27

How much time will you have to prepare it? Lasagne, salad, garlic bread and a nice bottle (or two!) of red?

When you say he's a fussy eater what sort of thngs doesn't he like?

Original poster
MascaraOHara · 13/11/2007 09:37

Oh everything I like really.. onions, garlic, spicy food, mushrooms that list feels near endless..

Maybe I could do some teriyaki tuna steak on stir fried veg or something like that? maybe something more hearty though? Steak (mabe with a sauce?), crispy roast potatoes and some buttered veg?

See how does he do this to me.. it's 9:30 and I'm panicking over dinner. Why am I so desperate for his approval?

OP posts:
Raffaella · 13/11/2007 09:55

errr......because you really like him and want to make this work no matter hard it is to do?

Anyway, back to food. Given his list of dislikes, the steak, veg and crispy roasts sounds ideal.