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Lone parents

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Original poster

I hate men. sorry.

501 replies

MascaraOHara · 27/09/2007 21:50

but there's nobody here to talk to and I just had to get that off my chest.

And I hate myself for being so hopeful when I meet someone I think I could really like.

It's just wanky.

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zippitippitoes · 03/11/2007 08:05

glad you had a sleep ime stopping the texts will help..otherwise it just perpetuates

zippitippitoes · 03/11/2007 08:05

you need to feelangry at some point until that happens it is hard to move forward

Original poster
MascaraOHara · 03/11/2007 09:58

Yes I think you are right, I don't feel any anger at the moment. I actually feel sorry for him.

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Raffaella · 03/11/2007 17:14

It's going to be so hard for you seeing him at close quarters every day. I take it he's your immediate boss so there's no chance of dealing with somebody else about work matters?

Really feel for you.

Original poster
MascaraOHara · 04/11/2007 08:23

very very bad night, went out to fireworks and started feeling really low again.

Haven't slept hardly at all, feel so rubbish.

and no, no chance of dealing with anyone else. I have to pull myself together by tomorrow.

OP posts:
charliecat · 04/11/2007 08:50

nap today if you can, take vitamin pill, drink and eat...
You will reread this one day and laugh you know, it doesnt feel like it but you know its true!

Dior · 04/11/2007 09:12

Message withdrawn

Original poster
MascaraOHara · 04/11/2007 14:02

Thanks

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Dior · 04/11/2007 18:39

Message withdrawn

Original poster
MascaraOHara · 05/11/2007 08:41

rubbish, basically. I am very low a the moment.

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Carmenere · 05/11/2007 08:51

Hi MOH, I just wanted to say, chin up love. This is the beginning of a brand new week and it can be much better than last week(in fact it is bound to be) so try to eek out a tiny bit of optimism for the sake of your family. Can you take a week off work? I really feel for you, it must be really crap. Thinking of you x

Original poster
MascaraOHara · 05/11/2007 10:11

I don't have enough holiday to take any time off unfortunately.

just had first work conversation. It was OK.

I'm finding I'm not too bad if I can not think about it.

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Dior · 05/11/2007 18:06

Message withdrawn

Tinkerbel5 · 06/11/2007 10:17

MOH you are so much better without him as unfortunately he was dragging you down, when men say things like 'its not you its me' its right, it is them so dont let him see any more of your tears. Get yourself looking like a million dollars and walk into work with your head held hight oozing confidence, say 'hiya' when you walk past him, tell him how embarrased you were crying in front of him and you dont know what you were thinking off, tell him there are no hard feeling and walk away

Original poster
MascaraOHara · 06/11/2007 11:12

I've made sure I'm looking good the last couple of days and actually when I see him at work I don't feel anything - It's always been like two seperate people in my head to some degree.

I'm feeling better today.

I did tell him that I felt he made things worse by not atually giving me a straight answer one way or the other. do you know he's never actually said that he doesn't want to be with me - even when I've asked him outright.

It's his loss, not mine.. he's still the first thing I think about when I wake up but that'll pass soon enough.

I went back to the GP today and apparently being very emotional can be a side effect of these A/Ds and they should be starting to kick in anytime now.

I have wondered whether I should say to him that I am on some medication and that the GP said that my behaviour could be a side effect or whether to let sleeping dogs lie.

We have spoken quite a few times about work now and all seems fine.

I'm still not 100% but I am feeling better. Thanks again to everyone who has listened to me moaning and given me so much valuable support and advice. It means so much!!

I watched so TV show the other night on BBC3 and there was a sketch with some people at counselling and the counsellor said at the end it sounds like "whah whah whah... "etc and I just laughed and thought god that's me.. everytime I start moaning now I hear going "whah whah whah poor me..."

OP posts:
Original poster
MascaraOHara · 06/11/2007 16:45

Is there anybody around who has been following this. I am talking to him soon and really need to decide whether or not to say anything.

I feel like saying...

"look, I went back to GP today and she said that it's not uncommon to feel xyz to begin with this medication. I'm really sorry about my behaviour. Please could we just forget about it and never speak of it again. I'm feeling much better now and it was completely out of character for me"

what do you think?

OP posts:
fawkeoff · 06/11/2007 16:49

hi i havent posted on here really but i have been following it.just explain that his emotional insecurities have left you drained, dont apologise for your behaviour because you havent done anything wrong.explain you feel that you were forced to end it because he wouldnt give you a straight answer, and you cant be pissed around anymore because you have a child and you need to have stability for her as well as yourself x x x x x kindly drop in that its his loss

ginnedupumpkin · 06/11/2007 16:58

You shouldn't have to explain your behaviour to him. He messed you around and upset you -don't let him off by taking the blame yourself, it might have been the AD's making you more emotional than usual, but you wouldn't have been like that if he hadn't been so awful.

ginnedupumpkin · 06/11/2007 16:59

Sorry that sounded harsh didn't it. I'm in a man hating mood today .
Seriously, you deserve better than this.

Original poster
MascaraOHara · 06/11/2007 17:03

I don't want him to think I'm a completely unstable weirdo though!

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fawkeoff · 06/11/2007 17:06

you are not an unstable wierdo...well just tell him you had a bad period and there has been a full monn dont stress about it he needs to take responsibility for his actions

Original poster
MascaraOHara · 06/11/2007 17:07

He's a dick.. I feel pretty darn good today lol

It might not last but heyho!

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ginnedupumpkin · 06/11/2007 17:08

That's better MOH. Onwards and upwards

fawkeoff · 06/11/2007 17:09

exactly that is a good way to start the convo "you're a dick" glad your feling much better x x x he might be gutted that your jolly

Baffy · 06/11/2007 17:12

hi MoH

just caught up with everything

what a shit he is

I say this from my own personal experience... the texts from him are a way of easing his guilt. They are not caring or loving, they are purely his way of making himself feel better by being nice to you.

(Totally different but my H used to do it all the time when he was on the way to see his OW, he'd send me a lovely text asking about me and ds and I used to think he really meant it and cared so much - but it was purely to ease his guilt - over time I realised that he would never actually make any effort to put things right through his actions. That's what matters.
I know there is no OW here - but the guilt at what he's done to you in terms of messing you about and not giving a straight answer is very similar.)

It's up to you whether you explain things to him. If he already knows about the medication, you could say that as a way to perhaps make him see that you're not quite as cut up as it seemed and you'll soon be over him. I can see why you would want to do that. And I'd say just go with your gut instinct on it, it's the best way xx

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