Hi guys, i had to speak to him at about 5 last night.. I said I wanted to clear the air and I was feeling much better.. he said I seemed very chipper, I said I felt good. He commented again on the scratch on my chest (3rd time he's mentioned it in two days).
I can't remember how it came about but I said something about him not being interested in me and that was fine and he then threw a spanner in the works by saying "I never said I wasn't interested" he then started to say something else but I stopped him and said I'm not getting into this discussion here (office).
I told him that the medication I was on was increasing my feelings and that's why I was blowing this out of all proprtion to it's actual significane on my life. He asked what meds I was on and I said it was none of his business. He said he thought my behaviour was normal under the circumstances I told him it wasn't normal for me and I was happy to find out from my GP that these are side effects and should be starting to wear off anytime now. I told him that I might still think about him when I wake up at night but that that will pass in a couple of days or weeks.
He implied that he was still trying to get his head sorted and that he had been planning to text me that night, I told him that he shouldn't say things like that because it wasn't fair. Needless to say it got my hopes up and needless to say, he didn't text.
I was really feeling better yesterday. todya I feel quite cross that he still seems to be giving mixed messages. I sent him a very measured but rather long text this morning. I recapped some of the things he said to me to persuade me to go out with him that 'he was a better bet'(than my ex), that 'I needed someone to look after me', 'that me and deserved better'. I told him I felt he had screwed up my life and left me to pick up the pieces (after all he impacts not only my personal but my work life as well). I said I felt like I deserved an explanation or at least a straight answer. Told him that to a lesser degree I still felt hurt and angry about the way he had treated me especially after what he had said yesterday.
I feel OK today, not as great as yesterday but alright.
I keep reminding myself that whenever I feel hurt or angry in life it's got something to do with a man.. I just don't need that hassle at the end of the day.
It is so his loss.
Thanks again for all the support you are giving me here