I hate men. sorry.

[MascaraOHara]

but there's nobody here to talk to and I just had to get that off my chest.

And I hate myself for being so hopeful when I meet someone I think I could really like.

It's just wanky.

Me and dd went over to his on Saturday night, had a nice evening and nice morning.

Just had a meeting with him.. no chit chat, no sign of any interest.. just pure work

all work and no play make MO want to run away

i am sorry for what you going through mascara.
i know how it feels.
he definitely knows he is in control.
would you like to be with him forever? would you be happy with him?
if not dont think about him mascara, leave him so he can make someone else restless.
what about making him jealous with someone else?
wish you good luck and happiness.

Just logged on to write..

Really struggling not to text right now.

Thanks for the messgaes

MOH

Have been following your thread. I am in a slightly different position with my first relationship since divorce* in Feb tho it looks as though it all gone really wrong. (Can't really go into details am afraid).

*At which time I was convinced I would never kiss anyone again let alone go further with anyone ever again!!

But know only too well that angsty/restless/rollercoaster feeling, urge to text etc. I have always been like this so don't think I will change now. I suppose the question is are the highs worth the lows.

It's hell. I do feel for you.

In my case I am absolutely certain that this person is right for me (he is an ex from before my marriage) and hope that eventually all will come good.

I am finding it hard to keep myself together both at work and in front of the kids. That's what I am finding most hard.

Plus the fact that I have put myself in such a vulnerable position so soon after the split which I was truly not intending.

I have to comfort myself with trite little sayings like What's meant for you won't pass you by and now is the time for guts and guile.

Good luck hope it all works out well for you.

Thanks for posting Citylover. It's sooo hard isn't it.

I think I feel that he could really be the one for me but I guess he doesn't feel the same.

The other thing that I do more of now is trust my gut feelings about things.

Too many times in the past I have ignored them. Only to wish I hadn't.

funnily enough ignoring my gut feeling was what got me into this mess.

umm..if he doesn't appear to feel the same or let himself feel the same ..then he isn't the one..er really, deep down?

and of course there isn't one in reality is there..there are lots of potential people..chin up eh?

well yes, chin up. finding it very hard not to text him right now.

always hard to do..i fall into the camp that does the hanging around and texting when you shouldn't thing but not texting definitely works..the less you care the more keen they are

it's working on you isn't it?

but having said that it is a game and if after this amnount of time he is still playing silly buggers then i would maybe think call it a day with him

OK have picked up my phone twice now to text him and put it down again... argh!

he keeps walking passed my desk.

right, had a meeting.. I jokingly moaned that I was bored, fed up, fed up and bored and that I needed some attention (he had just copped a cheeky look down my top when I leant over). He told me to look in the mirror if I wanted a laugh and when I jokingly said "did you just look down my top" he said "yes it was automatic" so I said jokingly "do you do that to all the women" his answer "depends who it is"

he's is such a fucking arse. Now I feel like sending him a shitty text. wanker.

I feel like boiling my head.

OK, I text him, basically dumping him. I don't expect a reply.

I'm absolutely gutted but I have poured myself a glass of wine and just have to get over it now.

I don't know why I'm finding this so hard. I'm normally so detatched.

i think its because we are in a emotionally weak state, we need love.
and he seems strong from that point of view, maybe its because he is a man.
do you have friends to hang around mascara?
in such cases i think of my dd who i can give my love unconditionally, and she the same.
i know its not the same but at least it can help you till you meet the right person who deserves your feelings.
this man doesnt, he is wrong, he is playing with you-sorry saying that.
xxx

I am an absolute mess today, I kept bursting into tears this morning.

he is coming round tonight. I feel like I'm completely out of control and I' have lost all my dignity.

hugs to you

xx

ps you will find someone better

I know. I just feel like everything is out of control, my job, my finances, my personal life.

Can't stop my eyes from keep welling at my desk. my jaw is rigid. feel like if anyone speaks to me I'm just going to breakdown

well if he does this to you at the start then he is just bad news

lucky escape i think

proffers hanky and massage

Message withdrawn

I asked him to.. I feel like I need someone to hold me while I cry.. don't want to talk to anyone else

you can't cry on the shoulder of the bloke who has hurt you....i speak from experience...you will end up hurting more