Professional Single Parents

[TeachesOfPeaches]

I'm a single full time working mother of one 3 year old in London. As my career is progressing I realise I don't know any parents like myself and I would really like to discuss how others manage childcare, travelling for work, getting a mortgage on your own, tax free childcare etc and I have nobody to discuss this with.

Anyone out there in a similar situation?

Hey @NeonMist I’m the only person I know (well) that’s a single mum. It’s so hard isn’t it. And this BH when everyone is doing family things is tough....

@NeonMist welcome !

I certainly need to make the effort to meet up with others in a similar situation. Currently watching Reading festival on iplayer, drinking Pimms (pretending I'm 16) and hanging out with my 3.5 year old who is playing with his cars. Not sure if this is good or not?!

@TeachesOfPeaches sounds a fine evening!

Sounds like the perfect thing to do for this weather (drinking pimms), and the next best option to being at the festival in person!
It's really good to get connected to you guys

So the boys went to my brother overnight last night. Thats twice in their 11 years they have gone to him!!! It was my birthday so went for a meal and coctails and enjoyed myself! Weather so bad in Dublin the past week and no bank hol to look forward to but one more week till school is back. 9 weeks is madness and super expensive between camps and minders.

@FionaCorkesWardrobebyKamizole - SW London? Me too.

@TeachesOfPeaches - how was the flat viewing?

I went glamping last week with the children and took au pair. The children loved it - they didn't ask for Netflix once! They loved running around outside, the beach and the bonfire etc. For me it was no holiday. I was very excited to be coming home!

Dare I ask - but any single professional parents who have embarked on the scary world of dating? When do you find the time?!! Any tips much appreciated!!

@NeonMist @TeachesOfPeaches i do think it's hard and when you meet new people they always ask about partners when it involves days out or bbq. I'm hosting yet another bbq today for friends, do lots of families. But these are all really good friends who I've known for years, the worst will be my brothers wedding ( both get married next year) and I've been asked in numerous occasions am I sure I don't have s plus one or you could meet someone at our wedding, when in reality I know that I've been on my own so long now that I'm really not that arsed. My dc don't see their dad and my family live miles away. But despite all of that I love my dc and the life we have.

@LondonSouth28 and @FionaCorkesWardrobebyKamizole

I'm SW London too 😀

@LondonSouth28

I did a little internet dating before I met DP 2 years ago, and got along with it fine. I didn't go on many dates as the kids don't really see their dad and family live miles away.

I met a few lovely guys and chatted to a lot more. It gave me a lot of confidence. I wasn't looking for anything serious as my kids are my priority and I didn't have time or energy to deal with someone else's life, emotions or needs.

DP refused a hook up situation and proved that he could add to my life rather than take anything away, and he still does. Over time I made room for him, but we spent a long time just seeing each other once a week until I was ready to introduce him to the kids. We still just see each other at weekends, mainly, so I can concentrate on the kids during the week, on my own.

If you find the right one, it's perfectly possible to make a bit of room in your life for them 😃

@Soopermum1 - thanks for this. This is useful. It's hard, because like you my children are the priority and with that in mind, my job is also a priority as (of course) this is required the support us all! I am just struggling to see what time is left... I will need to make some time. What dating site did you use? They all look a very intense - all the hobbies I'm supposed to have and things I like to do - my hobby is surviving!

I wonder if we are all close the SW london. I have no idea how to message on mumsnet...! Otherwise I would to see if we are in fact neighbours

@LondonSouth28 I'll pm you on this site, you should get an email.

I used Tinder mainly, most efficient way of sifting through the 'unsuitables'

I met DP through a friend, though. We got drunk one night and looked through her Facebook friends for hot single nice local men and he caught my eye. I contacted him, and after a bit of back and forth and near misses I asked him out for a drink. He was surprised but intrigued and it went from there.

I would recommend it for time poor women like ourselves. No faffing or messing around.

I am SW London as well, although not technically single as still going through divorce. Although I feel very much like single parent as do the majority of things for my lo. Maybe we should organise a meet up. I don’t know any other single parents in real life so it would be nice to meet you all.

I'm south London / Surrey borders so maybe near enough for a meet-up.

I need to vent - i asked ex for days he can cover over Xmas holidays- 1 apparently even though he works. 4 on / 4 off so has many more days off work than me! He really does take no responsibility. (He's not got to cover any over October half term and has done about 6-7 over the summer!

@Toomanycats99 @Anotherdiv welcome both!

Back to school day here! Im having a coffee and getting work sent to the office. So handy being able to work from home in the mornings, means i can get up and have loads done snd sent to the work printer before the kids even need to wake up and i get to drop them to the school bus on way to the office. Kind of laughing at some of the fb memes about the kids being back to school and mums celebrating because its really no different to a working mum lol

@Whoseagooddoggiethen i thought it was just me who thought this about the Facebook memes !! As you say - if you work full time there's no change ! I've had 2 separate weeks off over summer with my son. The rest of the time he's been farmed out on others or holiday club so I'm happy that he's back at school with all his friends this week as he loves it and thrives on routine. As do I !! How old are your children again ? My boy is 7 x

Ah yeah mine love school. Love seeing their friends etc. They literally hopped on the bus without a backwards glance this morning! They are 11 going on about 17 at the mo lol Like yours they have been at camps and my mums etc over summer so its nice for a bit of routine i think again for them!

My son's childminder has been closed for the last 2 weeks and he has done nothing but ask after her! He has been going there for almost 3 years so I guess I'm to expect it.

And we all survived the first week back, in fact both of mine are nicer for having been back in school - they even played together without killing each other this week! Currently in their rooms with a friend each over after school, large pizza and some drinks and popcorn so im enjoying the solitude while it lasts!

That sounds cozy, who.
Is he back at childminder yet, teaches?

We’re back into our routine, DD started school later than normal schools, but she’s been getting up and sorting herself out without a problem (touch wood).

I spent this last week organising, from meal plans to outings. I even ordered some new Christmas decorations. I always wanted one of those candle bridges in the window, I found a battery operated one on a timer, so it turns itself on just before DD gets in from school and turns itself off after 6 h.

I’ll see if Lidl has brought in their little pumpkins, I like having them in the window.
And I washed the winter blankets and the wooly socks and got the candles out, DD thinks I’m nesting.

I still got a couple of months before my portfolio needs to be handed in, so I’m working on that as well.
And had a meeting with my financial advisor regarding my mortgage and savings. He’s basically told me I need to do some more overtime 😂

But it’s all good. I’m still in bed, with the second cofee. DD is at a sleepover.
Have a good weekend everyone!

@valerieflowers come join us!

Morning ladies ! I've not been on the chat rooms much the last 2 weeks so I thought I'd say hi to everyone - since were all gorgeous ladies smashing the hell out of line parenthood and working full time ! I'm just outside Liverpool - most people on here seem to be "down south". Is everyone glad to be back in the routine of school runs ? I am but it's a pain now DS is on packed lunches - more faff to add to my evenings. School dinners was easier ! My boy is 7 and it's been the 2 of us since he was under 1. What's other people's situations ? Hope you all have a good day x

@MummyRM100 hello! I've been on my own with my son since he was 8months old and he is nearly 4 (and still sleeping in my bed with me ).

I'm taking him to Butlins tomorrow for a couple of days for Tots Week which will feature all the CBeebies celebs like Mr Tumble and the Teletubbies. Party time!

@TeachesOfPeaches ooooh CBeebies at butlins will go down well ! My boy would have loved that at that age ! I genuinely miss our cosy times watching Ben n Holly and Peppa Pig etc. Some of my fondest memories !

My DS (at 7) still sleeps in my bed regularly 😬 not every night but often. I secretly don't mind as I know those days will be gone for good soon. So enjoy it I say !

It's hard doing it all on your own from them being under 1 isn't it. And juggling a career and childcare too. But so rewarding too and sets them an excellent work ethic when they're older.

It does get lonely sometimes though doesn't it. When you see families everywhere with mum and dad both there x

Not sure if this consoles or scares any of you but most days I wake with one or both my 11 year olds in my bed. Thankfully its a kingsize lol I will miss it when they dont do it anymore though.