Professional Single Parents

[TeachesOfPeaches]

I'm a single full time working mother of one 3 year old in London. As my career is progressing I realise I don't know any parents like myself and I would really like to discuss how others manage childcare, travelling for work, getting a mortgage on your own, tax free childcare etc and I have nobody to discuss this with.

Anyone out there in a similar situation?

9 weeks 😱😱😱 blimey!
It's just everything adds up, doesn't it? So softplay for instance, by the time you've paid for that (flipping extortionate), then get there, and then someone else decides to get food there, and of course I can't deny my own precious moppet if everyone else is eating, etc etc etc.

Yesterday I went shopping as it was absolutely hideous out, and I spent about ten mins agonising over whether to splash out on a £3.99 t-shirt for me to replace my old fave, that has actually got holes in it and has become somewhat see through (😱) whilst of course merrily spending £££ on stuff for dd. Ridiculous. Of course, the £28 a month I get from her father really helps. Not.

It's looking very likely I'll have the opportunity to go to the Philippines to help set up a team. Checked online and the flight is 14 hours

Posted too soon - and I'm terrified. However, my work didn't know I was a single parent when they hired me. I presume I would have to go for around a week - couldn't imagine leaving my son my so long.

Could you consider taking him with you and arranging childcare there?

He hasn't ever been abroad so think it would be quite a shock to the system. Worth considering though.

The Philippines - wow! Amazing opportunity if you can make it work.
Do your office still not know you are a single parent?
My ex-colleague went over there and it took 18 months+ to set up a team!
I've got my parents a couple of hours away who if they are free come and do overnight Europe but I think even they would find a week a challenge. Other people manage it though if you can throw enough money at the problem!

Up until this summer I could not have imagined more than 2 nights without my boys and they are a good bit older than yours at 11 years old! They managed 4 consecutive nights in my mums but I was dying to get them back. Amazing opportunity and it would be fantastic if you could bring him with you and get help. 3 is young but great experience for you both. Long flight but loads of snacks and colouring books etc and all should be fine. Mine were young when we went to Australia but we were able to get bassinets and they slept most of the way thankfully.

One of my single mum friends took her two under 3 to Singapore and Australia by herself - I thought she was superwoman!

I went away with work for 2 weeks, 3 years ago. DD was 2 and DS was 12. My mum stayed with them. DD was absolutely fine, as long as she had her routine and a loving guardian she didn't care. DS went completely off the rails and I had to come home a little earlier for him.

I enjoyed my time away. I kept completely focussed on work and enjoyed the ability to stretch my wings and work long hours with no distractions. I went to Australia and Singapore.

The moral of the tale is to not worry about little ones fretting, it was the bigger one who struggled.

Do it!

@Soopermum1 you would think the 12 year old would love to be away from their mum for a little bit - you must be very close

@TeachesOfPeaches unfortunately not. It's a strange relationship. He appears to hate me on a regular basis, but doesn't like to be away from me either. He hates my boyfriend of 2 years as well, but that's another story

Oh I'm sorry to hear that, hopefully the relationship will get better when he gets older

@TeachesOfPeaches @Pez82 @tigerbear
I’m a single mother of a 4 year in SE London and work 4 days a week Centrally in a full on job. I don’t know any single parents near me. Maybe we could form a little gang!

Also in terms of meeting other new mums I’ve recently been testing the Frolo app which is launching soon and connects single parents to each other. You could give that a go.

@Soopermum1 so my ex does this. He swears most of the time he hates me yet likes to spend time with me and seemingly makes excuses to contact me. He delays things too which would get us closer to divorce. For a bit there, I was asking that we reconcile and he was adamant he 'couldn't'. Have you ever got to the bottom of what it's all about?

@TeachesOfPeaches - if you've got space an au pair is the way forward. The cost of an au pair is largely in the housing as opposed to the cash and I couldn't afford to not have one. Most au pairs want to live in London /near to London so that's always an advantage.

@LondonSouth28 unfortunately I've been renting a one bedroom flat for these past few years but looking to buy my first 2 bed flat soon I hope (got a viewing tomorrow for a shit pit that needs work but is in a convenient location for me).

@Littlefluffycloudos welcome!!

Just having a look through active and seeing my thread there with 267 posts makes me feel so happy. When I started it I was having a really bad day and felt quite low - it's nice to know I'm not alone. I expected a couple of replies but not all of these

Definitely check out Frolo. As I mentioned I’ve been beta testing and it should be really good!

We could get a SE London single parent gang and go to all the local things the families do!

Omg. I've been waiting for a thread like this. Can I join? What's the protocol? I guess I should read all of the thread and get caught up?

I think just being here means you’ve joined!

@OhioOhioOhio hello and welcome!!

Welcome to all new SPP’s (single professional parents)

Im in a food coma as i horsed a massive chinese takeaway this evening. Calories dont count on fridays ;) Currently watching something about a happy jail in the philippines and mentally planning our weekend. Quite hard to plan with the awful weather this month. Anyone have exciting plans?

@TeachesOfPeaches hello my people!! I am a single mummy to a 17 month old, live in SE London and work full time in central London in a profession known for v long hours. Daughter is in full time nursery and childminder for some weekends I have to work. Will get an au pair when she’s older.
Love the idea of a meet up!

For those of us in SE London and nearby (@TeachesOfPeaches @thaigreencurry82 @pez82 @tigerbear and anyone else!) I’m happy to set up a WhatsApp group if anyone’s interested in meeting up. I’d love to do so as am recently separated and don’t know any local single parents. Just inbox me!

Why is south east London a hotspot for single professional working mothers ?!