Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Lone parents

Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

Original poster

claiming maintenance off a father that is not on the birth certificate, what happens?

69 replies

j20baby · 14/07/2007 23:55

quick background-ex left when i became pg, says he wants nothing to do with either of us and told his family she is not his child(even though he knows full well that she is!) he made threats to burn my house down and we got moved, baby id due in Oct, so he wont be on the birth certificate as we're not married and i know he wont be interested, what do i do about claiming maintenance if he carries on saying hes not the father?

OP posts:
controlfreakyflitwick · 14/07/2007 23:58

you apply through chils support agency (no choice if you are on benefits).... if he denies paternity they can seek scientific tests to determine paternity (cheek swabs).

Original poster
j20baby · 15/07/2007 00:08

will they just seek or demand?

the thing is he knows full well its his child, he couldn't fake it could he?

OP posts:
hoolagirl · 15/07/2007 00:19

I was in the exact same situation.
Put a claim in as soon as your little one arrives.
If they deny they are the father then they are 'requested' to undergo dna testing.
If they refuse, they are assumed to be the father in the eyes of the csa anyway.
HTH.

Original poster
j20baby · 15/07/2007 00:21

thats great, thanks hoola

OP posts:
nappyaddict · 15/07/2007 01:44

they can't demand a dna test but they are looking for him to prove he is not the father. if he refuses the test he is not providing evidence that he is not the father and so it will be assumed that he is.

flightattendant · 15/07/2007 05:55

He couldn't fake a paternity test, don't worry, they are very very strict and it's all done in your Dr's office (r his) with forms and so on, loads of forms! We had one as I wasn't 100% sure DS1's dad was his dad. (well, I was sure but there was a very slight chance he wasn't).

Original poster
j20baby · 15/07/2007 10:13

Thanks everyone, do you know if i have to provide proof of his earnings and stuff? the CSA have apparantly said he doesn't have to pay for the son he has already got and as far as i know he works for a man that only has 2 people in his employment so he may be willing to lie for him!

OP posts:
filchthemildmanneredjanitor · 15/07/2007 10:14

not being married and not being together doesn't mean he can't be on the birth certificate does it?can't you put him on anyway?

Original poster
j20baby · 15/07/2007 10:23

i think he needs to be there to do it, and there's no chance he would agree to that, he doesn't even want to know when she's born

OP posts:
allgonebellyup · 15/07/2007 11:14

when i had my dd we only got offered the small birth certificated and there was no space on there for either parents name!

but yes the csa will demand a DNA test and make the father pay for it (around £450).

Original poster
j20baby · 15/07/2007 11:18

good, even though he is not interested, i don't see why my lo should not have the chance to know who her father is, should she ever want to and i also don't see why he should get away with it. if they do ask me when i register the birth, i will tell them and if they can put him on, i will, although she will be having my last name.

OP posts:
Tinkerbel5 · 15/07/2007 13:02

j20 you cant put the fathers name on a birth certificate without him being there or supplying a marriage certificate, I dont hold out much hope with you getting any money either, cause he looks like he has a nil assessment, if he is that violent to threaten to burn your house down would you really want him near your child ?

Original poster
j20baby · 15/07/2007 13:09

tinkerbel, i don't want him anywhere near her, i have moved house and trying to convince dd to move schools so that he can not find us but i do want him to take some responsibility for the child, i'm not really bothered about the money, its the fact that he's told all his friends and family that i am lying about the lo, not sure exactly what he has said, as they will not have no contact with me and i am not begging them to take an interest, but my dd is very close to her paternal family and this lo won't have anyone but me and dd, and its just not fair on her. i'm not sure if i want him on the birth certificate, but i do want her to be acknowledged as his child, if you know what i mean ?

OP posts:
flightattendant · 15/07/2007 13:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

flightattendant · 15/07/2007 13:15

Oh sorry, x-posts

good luck!

Tinkerbel5 · 15/07/2007 13:17

j20 to receive maintenace off him will acknowledge he is the father, contact the csa for an application form or if you are on benefits the DWP will send a csa officer round, they will then contact your ex.

Original poster
j20baby · 15/07/2007 13:19

thanks FA, i have been keeping up with your threads also, as we seem to be in a similar situation.

it just pisses me off that he can get away with it, and his other child is part of his parents life, i don't want anything from them but acknowledement! sometimes i feel like saying fu*k them, but as i say, dd has a very active relationship with her paternal side and i feel awful that this lo will not.

hope you, ds and Wilbur are doing well

OP posts:
Original poster
j20baby · 15/07/2007 13:20

tinkerbel, in a way, i hope he does deny paternity and ends up taking a DNA test, then i will have absolute proof in my hands that he is the father, its not about the maintenance, its about people knowing the truth.

OP posts:
flightattendant · 15/07/2007 13:22

Oh thankyou sweetie! Tough going at times but getting on Ok...

Nice to know we're not alone

nappyaddict · 15/07/2007 13:34

i know exactly what you mean. ds' dad refused to believe lo was his. promised he would have a dna test done so i could prove it to him (i said i would pay) but he kept fobbing me off with all these excuses so i said right i said i didn't want csa involved but you're being awkard there's no way round it now. they can choose to pay for it themselves and if it turns out they are not the father csa reimburse, or the csa can pay and then if they are the father they have to pay the csa back but they have to pay a higher price if they do it that way.

Original poster
j20baby · 15/07/2007 16:43

god some of these blokes are such tw*ts! the thing is he knows lo is his child as we where actively ttc until he decided to go all loopy or whatever it is that made him act in this way!

OP posts:
Neuro · 15/07/2007 18:53

hi you guys

I wondered if any of you could help me out if you know any answers to this q:

if i work, and then go back to work after maternity leave, but claim Working tax credit and child tax credit as well as 80% of childcare (however that works!) will i have to name the father of my future baby? The situation is that he has assisted me in getting pregnant as it has been my plan, in absence of a bf or husband, to be a single parent and i'm not holding him financially responsible for any of it. I'm a bit torn about the birth certificate thing, but as he's not going to majorly be a parent, by him being on the certificate, does that mean the CSA would chase him?

thanks!

skyatnight · 15/07/2007 19:13

Hi Neuro. Someone correct me if I am wrong but I think, under current rules, they only want you to name the father if you are claiming benefits and/or you ask the CSA to claim maintenance off him. If neither of these is the case, then you shouldn't have to say anything about him. This could always change though in the future as they are talking about it being compulsory for single mothers to name the father on the birth certificate.

Original poster
j20baby · 15/07/2007 19:28

neuro - i think if you leave him off the birth certificvate and just tell ltem that the father is unknown, then there's not a lot they can do about it is they.

btw your brave!

OP posts:
flightattendant · 16/07/2007 07:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn