I'm so lazy.....

[MamaDuckling]

I'm a lone parent to two small DC (2 and 4), and between them and work (ft), I'm just becoming so blimmin lazy of an evening.... I literally get them into bed, make myself a microwave meal, sit on the sofa watching tv/Mumsnet, and then crawl into bed around 11 (maybe having a second wind around 10pm frantically tosying or sticking some laundry on).

I just feel like I've become a lazy flabby unmotivated slob.... DH is around but currently working overseas- we see him about once every six weeks so for the purpose of this I'm calling myself a LP.

I don't really see much of my friends, my parents support me in the week but I'm becoming a bit of a lonely spinster. What do others do to stay active/exercise? I can't really ask my folks for more help or babysitting.

If you have a dh who is providing financial support and is at the end of a phone, then you are not a lone parent. You have no flippin' idea.

When you exercise by running up and down the 10m of road outside your house because you've had no back-up whatsoever in the last 4 years and it feels like house arrest, then I might feel a little more sympathy
I need to stop before I get really annoyed. Being a single mum is not a f*ing fashion statement.

Wow. This place....

Yep. I was really trying to be fashionable? WTAF?

Kingsclerelass,

My OP gives zero indication as to how much or how little DH is involved. You know so little of my circumstance and you jump to some almighty conclusions. I don't want your sympathy, I wanted the practical advice of others, who yes, may well have it harder than me.

Seriously. Calm yourself down.

Wow!! Nasty message from Kings there.... It's not a contest! People are allowed to find things tough and op you do sound like you have a full life. Don't feel guilty about relaxing in the evenings, you probably need it to recharge and be there for work and the kids. I try to stick to a little and often routine so I'll do a few squats waiting for the kettle to boil, stick a load of laundry on during the adverts, go for walks during the (weekend) day with the kids in tow. I also find a to do list with lots of small manageable tasks to tick off helps me not to feel like a complete slob. Don't be too hard on yourself, juggling kids and a full time job isn't easy

Thanks fuzzy. I can just feel my health and relative fitness really slipping. I used to manage long walks/occasionally the gym etc, but the kids are 4 & 2 so don't appreciate a long walk! I might need to look at trying to do a fitness dvd in the lounge or something.

Blimey, she's a parent, that's alone, for most of the time... She's a lone parent!
No need for getting so wound up pp.

Don’t be too hard on Kings, she does have a point.

Thanks bobster. Yes, it's not like I called myself a single parent disingenuously

Nope, I'm standing firm here..... of course there are variations of 'lone'. And 'single parent' is different again. But I'm on my own, bar about 3 days every 6 weeks. I'd classify it as lone parenting.

Buy a kettlebell and find some YouTube videos, I promise you won't feel lazy after even a quick workout!

Wowzers @ kings post.

I work ft with 2 young DC, and my hubby is around, and I'm permanently knackered - and your life is much harder than mine!

Have you tried things like Joe Wickes' HIIT you tube workouts. They are a bit bonkers and you're knackered within about 20 mins! But they are very good if you can't get out of the house on an evening.

I go through phases of feeling really lazy - like I just can't get motivated to 'start again' after kids' bedtime and I just want to veg out myself. I think it's normal to go thorough phases like that!

Agree with kings. If you have a partner/husband you are not a lone parent. How can anyone class someone as a lone parent if they are married. Working away doesn't make you a lone parent. Oh and Ofcourse there is a difference between being a single parent and having a partner that works away!!

I'm a lone parent. It's easier for me because exP has the Dc for 2 days a week! That's when he's not being a total arse anyway, so I don't rely on him having the DC at all. I've recently started going running with a local group 1 night a week at first now 2-3, and my NDN's granddaughter (17) babysits for that. She loves the DC and I feel so liberated (dc are 20m, 4 and 12) and I've never used a babysitter before.

Some people are a lone parent, with lots of local family who they can depend upon for support. Some married parents whose spouses work away for long periods (like the OP) may have no family support. Lone parent doesn't immediately mean your circumstances are harder than everyone else's. It's not a competition. OP, I can relate to your circumstances. My family all live hundreds of miles away and I only have acquaintances where I live. I understand your struggle and find myself struggling to get motivated at times. I don't have answers but you're not alone in feeling the way you do.

Ok so what label should we give parents who are doing the parenting job single handedly then?

Why do you think a 4 and 2 year old “wouldn’t appreciate” a long walk? I live in Scotland, and used to take my kids for long walks up hills at that age! I was widowed when the eldest was 2, and I regularly took them out walking just to get out of the house for some fresh air and exercise.

I think a regular babysitter might help you, I have been in a similar situation and did nothing much for ages. Getting a regular evening out helped a lot, it was the only way I could have any evening time to myself.

I don't think it, I know it! They are hypermobile, tire easily.... Dd hates the buggy but struggles to walk far at all.... not to mention it's been effing freezing of late. But yes, will be more outdoor inclined now spring might finally be on the way.

I understood totally MamaDuckling - I.ve been a married parent and DP worked away for weeks on end, and a lone parent for 8 years and like a PP said it is no difference apart from being much freer now!
Sounds like you have a lot on so dont feel guilty for relaxing! But if you wanted to be more active (I am trying to) then maybe swimming with the dcs once a week as it burns off a lot just getting a 2 and 4 year old ready and into the blooming pool Ive found! Plus it wears them out

Ok so what label should we give parents who are doing the parenting job single handedly then?

Single handedly means doing everything though doesn't it. I'm a lone parent. I don't have a DH to call on for support in person or on the phone. I pay the bills. I make all the decisions. About everything to do with parenting. That's a lone parent.

A single parent would indicate there is another parent in existence who may or may not support with finances, decisions etc.

A parent whose husband works away but who supports the family emotionally and financially is just that. A married parent who does much of the day to day stuff but still has back up.

I can't believe the scrutiny here over a label. It's quite absurd and obviously a sensitive area. Single parent to me implies one not married or in a relationship. Lone implies doing the parenting alone. Yes DH contributes financially (I work ft and bring in half our income too), but decisions, actual parenting, meals, activities, nursery drop off/etc etc all managed by me. Back up is my mum, occasionally MIL who lives 3 hours away. DH is there on the phone yes, but he can't do very much practically from the other side of the world can he? Not to mention the time difference so we don't actually speak for any great deal of time.

Thank you to those that have made helpful suggestions. Fitness DVD and maybe a regular babysitter sound sensible

As other pp stated a kettlebell is very good. I'd also vote a pilates dvd for the days you're purely shattered vs a HIIT workout. Have a look on Gumtree for a cheap spin bike. Much more fun than an exercise bike and 10mins here and there would quickly tot up.

Bloody hell, can people not just abide by the “if you’ve got nothing nice to say...” rule?! Some posters just love to pick holes and find a reason to attack!

Anyway OP, can understand how you feel. I’m not a lone parent so cannot complain at all but I also understand that feeling of slipping when it comes to exercise and feeling you could do more with your evenings. As some have suggested, online workouts are great - especially HIIT as they’re really quick but really intense so you definitely feel like you’ve worked hard.