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Original poster

Ex has just sent me a parenting plan.

168 replies

HowamIgoingtocope · 04/04/2017 18:51

We have been separated 6 years.
He must have spent hours on thw bloody thing. I hardly have time to eat and sleep never mind read his narcisstic twaddle.

OP posts:
OutToGetYou · 05/04/2017 13:08

Actually, he sounds unhinged. Are they safe with him??

goodpiemissedthechips · 05/04/2017 13:14

the children should have a varied diet with no restrictions or omissions without good reason

Oh good grief.

I agree it does sound like he's lost the plot.

Original poster
HowamIgoingtocope · 05/04/2017 13:18

i can just picture him typing it , with a stress eric vein and everything

OP posts:
Lweji · 05/04/2017 13:19

You could also reply in MN style.
U ok hun?
ODFOD
Are you on glue?

But when you get tired of teasing him, I'd just reply with No.

Frouby · 05/04/2017 13:26

Oh christ Op what a fucking nobber. Why is he an ex again?

I had similar issues with my ex. Cafcas bless them recommended a contact book for passing important information back and forth. As I refused to speak to him as he was a vile and abusive prick.

He was still a vile and abusive prick, he just had time to write his insults out. Gems such as ' please send snacks with dd. She likes chocolate buttons, quavers and ribena to drink. She gets annoyed on the bus if I don't have snacks'. She was 12 months old.

Also 'I have left the pram at home because I forgot. Walking her to nursery (45 mins at toddler speed) will be good for your figure'.

And 'The nursery staff were rude to me at pick up (he was 45 minutes late). Please ensure that doesn't happen again or I will pull her out.of that nursery. And I can because I have PR. You will have to find an alternative I will approve. Don't ask me to provide childcare while you work tho. That's your problem'.

He is a charmer.

Platimum · 05/04/2017 13:27

Be prepared! I remember the first time I went to court I hadn't a receipt in my bag, despite having paid for everything for four years. EVERYTHING. My x had an excel spreadsheet detailing flights he'd booked visiting children, flight references that corresponded to credit card references, receipts for cups of coffee he'd bought at airport, receipts for the soleros he'd bought them Shock
There I was having paid for all the food,bills, rent, extra curricular activities, books, toys, parties, you name it, and he waltzes in to court with his spreadsheet. Shock
And I'd love to tell you that the judge didn't fall for it but..................... hmm. I had to wise up and get a strategy and go back, prepared.

Ineedmorelemonpledge · 05/04/2017 13:28

the bedroom has to be out of bounds

Reply back, I agree, therefore the sex swing shall be moved and attached to the living room ceiling, and sex toy collection will be transferred to the China cabinet. A condom machine will be fitted to the wall above the TV.

the children should have a varied diet with no restrictions or omissions without good reason

Suggested meal plan for the week:

Monday (Japan) - wasp crackers and Breaded Fugu
Tuesday (UAE) - boiled sheeps brains in a light gravy
Wednesday (Cambodia) - crispy tarantula goujons and chips
Thursday (Korea) - dog nuggets with BBQ dip
Friday (Canada)!- jellied Moose nose with a Haribo salad.

RandomMess · 05/04/2017 13:32

I love it, what's he going to do if you ignore it - take you to court? I'm sure he'd like them full time as your parenting is so deficient!

HecateAntaia · 05/04/2017 13:32

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Potplant · 05/04/2017 13:38

My ex texts me helpful hints too. Last one 'it's raining, can you make sure the kids wear coats'
And very recently 'kids need to eat more fruit and veg. Google 5 a day'. Hmm They eat more fruit in a day than he eats in a month!

Platimum · 05/04/2017 13:56

Wow. How are you supposed to control how other people interact with him! MORE than that, how can you control how he perceives others' interactions with him! Omg. You're up against it there OP

Original poster
HowamIgoingtocope · 05/04/2017 14:36

I'm having a laugh at all these replies. More to come later from my barmy ex.

OP posts:
childmaintenanceserviceinquiry · 05/04/2017 15:06

Mine does worse than just email rants; he turns up at my house with child in tow and hands over eg an breaker for use with the lawnmower - all because my 10 year old DC had had fun mowing the lawn at mine and had told his dad. Because the child is there it does make saying knob just FO very difficult. He has also smuggled things into my home for DC to use (just found out that was his bitch of a girlfriends idea). I confiscate them and return to him.

Original poster
HowamIgoingtocope · 05/04/2017 17:39

Here another corker. The children should be in bed by 7.30 on weekdays and 8.00 on weekends. No later. My kids are 9 and 6

OP posts:
UnbornMortificado · 05/04/2017 17:49

The day I blocked ex-wanker with a message saying to take me to fucking court was a brilliant day.

Sympathies he sounds deranged.

UnbornMortificado · 05/04/2017 18:01

When you do meet a new careful I would be careful. Same ex-wanker rang SS and reported DH for physical abuse. Despite being a crock of shit (backed up by nursery, school etc) because of the seriousness of the allegation we had to sit through a CP meeting.

It's just about keeping some control over you.

Original poster
HowamIgoingtocope · 05/04/2017 18:54

I'm aware it's about control. It's not happening. Been there done that.

OP posts:
Potplant · 05/04/2017 20:17

I'm not in the process, yet, so mine just sends me helpful email and text tips.

He has recently announced we should have an online diary which we share info about DCs. I've been doing this since before we we even had DCs which he consistently ignored -and blame me for not telling him-- Course now it's his idea it's the best thing ever.

I also need to have more empathy for his situation. in his dictionary 'empathy' means 'shut the fuck up and do what I say'. And his situation is getting pissed with his mates rather than look after his DCs or Been arsed to get a babysitter.

He also gave me a heads up on appropriate bedtimes. You'd think after 11 years of putting DCs to bed 99% of the time, I'd have got the hang of it, but no.

Because the child is there it does make saying knob just FO very difficult THIS.

ItsNachoCheese · 05/04/2017 20:22

Is he on crack? 😂 my ds is almost 2 and has a 7pm bed your kids are older so therefore are in no way needing a 7:30 bedtime unless they choose it themselves

Theresnonamesleft · 05/04/2017 20:30

I would just say to him
There's a lot to consider. But I am confident to give you my feedback on every point once your gf's enhanced dbs is in my possession and of course a copy of her tenancy agreement for the room she will be renting when the children are at yours.

Original poster
HowamIgoingtocope · 05/04/2017 20:33

Oh the criteria doesn't extend your him don't be silly when he got with his gf. Whom I knew I asked for an alchohol and drug test due to her history of phoning our house drunk threatening suicide. I got a lovely letter off his solicitor that basically said the sun shines out of her arse

OP posts:
DixieNormas · 05/04/2017 20:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

UnbornMortificado · 05/04/2017 20:54

They have a guidebook I'm sure of it.

Original poster
HowamIgoingtocope · 05/04/2017 21:14

I'll agree to.some. but the rest is common sense and simply a rant because he doesn't like the way I parent.

OP posts:
Original poster
HowamIgoingtocope · 05/04/2017 21:15

@unborn yes I agree. All narcissist have a how to be a twat in one easy steps book. They must get it when they walk away from their kids.

OP posts: