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Lone parents

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Original poster

Ex has just sent me a parenting plan.

168 replies

HowamIgoingtocope · 04/04/2017 18:51

We have been separated 6 years.
He must have spent hours on thw bloody thing. I hardly have time to eat and sleep never mind read his narcisstic twaddle.

OP posts:
Hissy · 04/04/2017 23:38

You should have responded with "oh do behave" and nothing more.

Police vetted partners... 😂

Original poster
HowamIgoingtocope · 05/04/2017 06:37

There's plenty more. Kinda wondering if he had a personality transplant
I'll read it as bedtime material. Unsure why he thinks he needs to.control my life. Be glad when the kids decide they don't want to go to his.

OP posts:
youarenotkiddingme · 05/04/2017 07:05

Can you reply - yes I do agree all partners should be fully vetted. Dc will visit you when I fill a full dbs disclosure for your partner.

goodpiemissedthechips · 05/04/2017 07:08

He wants new partners police vetted.

Grin

Bless his heart, he's trying (very).

Wishing you strength OP!

Original poster
HowamIgoingtocope · 05/04/2017 08:30

Oh don't even get me going about his partner. I will be having a laugh about the thing. More to come.

OP posts:
Lweji · 05/04/2017 08:37

I've replied to 3hours work with 19 points. He will be furious.

I was going to suggest that.

Maybe you could keep asking questions about minute details and keep him going. Grin

Lweji · 05/04/2017 08:39

Example: what if the new partner is a police officer?
What if he's MI5?
Is a profession that requires background checks exempt?
What will the vetting consist of? Can you suggest a form?

Lweji · 05/04/2017 08:39

Also: will the vetting apply to a female partner? Grin

Original poster
HowamIgoingtocope · 05/04/2017 09:53

Haha oh I intend to. It's going to be so much fun

OP posts:
Hissy · 05/04/2017 11:50

I'm currently putting off the "I need to meet her" demand request from exw of boyf...

Is this really necessary?

WellErrr · 05/04/2017 11:59

Yes yes you need to question it in minute detail. You know, so that you can understand.

Re school uniform - will he provide socks and pants?
Hair accessories?
Does he have a plan for if school introduces blazers?
What about coats? How about 70-30 split on coats for the next year and then 40-60 for subsequent years unless previous coat still fits in which case a statutory surcharge of £2.75 per term should apply to be added to maintenance?

Lweji · 05/04/2017 11:59

I think those requests are silly (and often say it on threads where the OP is asking to meet the new partners).

Children meet and are in close contact with all sorts of people in their lives that we don't. We don't meet or know well most teachers, for example, or vet them.

I think new partners should stay the responsibility of the parent, not to be inspected by the exs.

WellErrr · 05/04/2017 11:59

Oh yes and obviously his partner needs to be DBS checked immediately.

Original poster
HowamIgoingtocope · 05/04/2017 12:07

I have to introduce partner slowly , the bedroom has to be out of bounds if they stay over and his maintainance covers everything. It's just a rant on an official page. Of he cancells a weekend the childcare onus is on me He has agreed they live with me.

OP posts:
goodpiemissedthechips · 05/04/2017 12:10

the bedroom has to be out of bounds if they stay over

Whose bedroom Confused

He's not seriously suggesting that if you have someone over, they have to sleep on the couch? Grin

goodpiemissedthechips · 05/04/2017 12:10

Oh hang on, does he mean that if you have someone over to stay, the children must not see the two of you in bed together in the morning?

He's barmy.

Original poster
HowamIgoingtocope · 05/04/2017 12:14

Aparently they shouldn't see us being intimate. Sorry my kids can still come in my bed for hugs on my side. .
The kids have to be in bed by 7.30 weekdays and 8 on a weekend.
Err no. They go to clubs in the week and latest will be in bed by 8. Which is age reflective. They are 6 and 9

OP posts:
Astro55 · 05/04/2017 12:15

Please add

'Parntners need vetting' Ditto
'Must not stay over' Ditto

Just when you think you've heard it all!! LOL

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Finola1step · 05/04/2017 12:20

Good grief. He really is a peach. He has missed the basic point that a parenting plan is meant to be a shared plan that you write together (often through meditation) and agree together. Or have I got that wrong?

My hackles would be well and truly raised. And I would be thinking "Why now?". Is he just being an arse for arses sake or is he up to something? Do you have a new fella on the scene that he has got wind of and he is trying to piss all over his "territory" like a dog?

Original poster
HowamIgoingtocope · 05/04/2017 12:21

I'd attach the document but it has his name on. I'll see if I can copy somethings into here later. It's 15 pages long. !!!!!
It's his usual rant of this is what you should be doing with my.kids.

OP posts:
Original poster
HowamIgoingtocope · 05/04/2017 12:23

No new fella. Wouldn't tell him anyway. None of his chuffing beeswax.
No he's just being an arse. It's in his dna.
We went to mediation and agreed some things like contact. After the nici was issued he changed it. So I think he will change this as and when he pleases. This includes me collecting the children twice a month from his. Which he can chuff off with as I work till late those days.

OP posts:
AyeAmarok · 05/04/2017 12:26

Oh this has given me a right laugh.

If he cancels a weekend the childcare onus is on me. He has agreed they live with me.

Confused

How does he justify this? Or does he not even bother trying to give reasonable explanations for his fuckwittery?

DeleteOrDecay · 05/04/2017 12:27

15 pages long!Shock who on earth does he think he is? What a first class cunt.

goodpiemissedthechips · 05/04/2017 12:28

15 pages long!!!!

My parents co-parented for many years after they split up when I was very young and to my knowledge they never put anything in writing. They made all agreements jointly and presented a united front to me. But then they are both mature, sensible adults who wanted what was best for their child. Sadly your ex seems to be looking out for number 1, and as far as he's concerned that's him!

I feel really sorry for children who have a parent who uses them as a tool to control/annoy/whatever the other parent, or who begrudges them things they need that cost money (like school uniforms). OP I'm glad you haven't lost your sense of humour, you clearly need it with an ex like him! Flowers

Original poster
HowamIgoingtocope · 05/04/2017 13:01

if read it a few times now , its a general rant at me in point format. He must have been creating smoke typing it . I need to be careful I don't put it word for word.

I love the one the children should have a varied diet with no restrictions or omissions without good reason. This is because I control their sugar intake and crap they eat. he feeds them what he wants so ends up peeling them off the ceiling from e numbers.

OP posts: