Poll - child maintenance - how much do you get?

[Sumwoman]

I have had a disagreement with my ex about how much he should pay since we split 10 year ago. He currently pays £250pm. I have two teenage boys aged 14 and 16 who are both still in education. They live with me most of the time and visit him on alternate weekends. I cover all the costs of clothes, hobbies, school trips etc. He pays child maintenance and covers the cost of food/clothes for when they are at his every other weekend. He has a good job and is probably earning £40k plus but he now has a new wife and has had two more children.

I am interested in how much child maintenance is considered reasonable? How much do people think it costs monthly to bring up two children? All I want is for him to share this cost equally.

I appreciate people taking the time to respond.

270 for two but they have overnight stays and there are contributions towards uniforms, shoes, clubs and the likes.

DS £105 pcm. Paid this since he was 3, still paying it at 15. Doesn't bother with DS at all. Not even a Christmas text ffs.

DD £247 pcm. Does as CMS tells him. Rounds it up to nearest £1 to look reasonable. He buys her bits for his house, but DD is not allowed to bring anything of his here or vice versa which I find odd because we only live 30 minutes from each other. See's DD every other weekend.

£171 for ds who is 3....calculated from cmo.
Ex seems to think he doesn't have to put his hands in his pocket for anything else...
So no bday presents, Xmas presents etc because I'm currently taking all his money!

You get that shit too fructis seems like a common theme.

DH pays £2400/mo for 2 kids and spousal maintenance. We buy a complete set of clothes/toys etc for our house. She has a PhD and works 3 days a week. We get to hear how "poor" she is all the damn time. We've had two kids and the amount hasn't changed. DH gets told when he can have contact and gets zero input into anything including school choice etc. She sends very girly DSD in her brothers ratty hand me downs to prove how poor they are to everyone as she happily tells the world how much she struggles. Sigh.

One DS, £40 per month.

My DC are the same ages as yours. I get £245pm as per CM calculator. I also get 50% of all costs (clothes, haircuts, school trips & equipment) at his insistence. Had it written into the divorce/finance agreement just to be sure he didn't change his mind at a later date.

2 children here and £5 per week. He gave up work so he wouldn't have to pay more. That was 12 years ago...

Mines self employed and pays £100/month for 13yr old dd,nothing else.So poor he has bought another house for cash and stalling on selling our joint property.Has seen Dd5 times since June,all arranged by me.

Mine paid £1100 per month through using the online CMS calculator and an informal arrangement. He then decided to stop paying, so I had to go through CMS officially. Now get £170 a month if he feels like it. He can afford the fines he earns £150k per year but is self employed. According to the tax office he earns £330 a week. It's so fair

Oh and not seen the children since September 2015

Zero

He sells thousands of pounds worth of stuff online but claims unemployment benefits

They used to deduct £2.50 a week per child direct from his dole

But now the CSA has disbanded and that's stopped. He has arrears which apparently they'll chase, but I don't even think about it, it's so surreal a likelihood.

As he says, 'the taxpayer can pay for the kids, that's what Child Tax Credit is for'

My wages alone would support myself and two kids, so Tax Credits step up where the father does not,

my wages alone wouldn't* support them, that should say

The more I read threads about child maintenance, the more I despair of the system you have in the UK, its terrible. Where I live, once a child maintenance order has been made (legal minimum is 150e per month for one child) if the nrp doesn't pay you tell the social security people and they pay the minimum amount directly to the rp while they chase up the nrp for what they owe. When the government is paying child maintenance out of its own pocket it sure as hell won't be lax about chasing up the ones that owe! And no one would get away with the loopholes they seem to do in the UK, like being self-employed and claiming no income as tax records as public so if the amount they are paying doesn't fit with their income as shown by how much tax they pay then they'll get done for fraud. If they are working under the table but you can see them buying fancy cars and going on expensive holidays etc. you can look up their tax record and report them for fraud yourself.

£1460 a month child maintenance from ex h.

When this figure is combined with spousal main, it's 40% of his income. Three of us, one of him. He struggles to grasp that.

He has them 2 to 3 nights a month

I receive £440 per month for my DS. Ex has him every second weekend unless he has something on. It's a private arrangement and he pays on time ~but you would hope that considering he is a director at a bank~.

Youcanread... if he is a director of a bank, then he should be paying you far more than that!

My ex earns £140k and the CM calculation worked out £1460 a month. Check out the online calculator.

Ha ha Blinkyblink that would be good if he did. I think he will be on about £70k a year so it's probably about right.

I get 100 every 2 weeks, for 5 girls. Something he said he was paying. Has them every other weekend and now wants an extra Friday. Not paid over christmas and now owes me 250£ and hasn't seen them since day after boxing day. Doesn't help towards after school clubs, uniforms, holy communions (this year twins aswell) but does give the older 2 spends ever 2 weeks

I get nothing. I haven't even been to the CSA/CMS for my two youngest children; the stress of dealing with it only to get nothing back doesn't seem worth it, especially as I earn significantly more than their dad. He sees them one or two times a month, no overnights, and never buys anything for them (although he likes sending me notes informing me that they need new shoes, haircuts, etc., because, you know, I need those things pointing out ) I spent years wrangling with the CSA for my oldest three children, their dad was a high earner, but manipulated the system in every way imaginable. At one point they assessed his arrears at over £60,000, but I never got a penny of it. (In fact when I'd eventually had enough of the endless forms - 13 years on - and told the CSA to drop it, they charged me around £38.) It doesn't sound any more organised or helpful these days.

I have a 4 & 2 year old with my ex and I get £44 a week altogether which is calculated through the csa, personally I don't think it's much!

I can't believe how long this thread has kept going. Such variety in amounts too. I am torn between just letting it go as am fed up with the hassle and stress it causes me or getting the CMS involved again. In the end it's maybe easier for me to just be the bigger person. Thanks again to everyone who has contributed.

£0. But then he lives far away and I've stopped caring.