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Original poster

Poll - child maintenance - how much do you get?

136 replies

Sumwoman · 04/12/2016 17:42

I have had a disagreement with my ex about how much he should pay since we split 10 year ago. He currently pays £250pm. I have two teenage boys aged 14 and 16 who are both still in education. They live with me most of the time and visit him on alternate weekends. I cover all the costs of clothes, hobbies, school trips etc. He pays child maintenance and covers the cost of food/clothes for when they are at his every other weekend. He has a good job and is probably earning £40k plus but he now has a new wife and has had two more children.

I am interested in how much child maintenance is considered reasonable? How much do people think it costs monthly to bring up two children? All I want is for him to share this cost equally.

I appreciate people taking the time to respond.

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Toocleverbyhalf2 · 06/12/2016 08:08

I get nothing, nada, zero. It's disgusting how some people get away with it. Angry

Chocolatecake12 · 06/12/2016 09:01

I get £200 pm if he has the money, nothing if he hasn't - like this month and last month. Its infuriating.
He sees his 2 ds's about once a month and I have to nag him for that.
Waste of space. Really wish I'd left him sooner.

puglife1 · 06/12/2016 15:04

Just had a read of some replies on here. Shocking how little some people pay for their own children. Utter arsewipes.

Graphista · 06/12/2016 18:02

Lotsoffreckles

Refreshing to see a comment from a second wife that understands it's not the fault of the children from the first marriage that their parent has had more children in a new relationship or that they should receive less financial support as a result.

I think it's wrong there's a discount for not only future half siblings, but if the nrp moves in with someone with children from another relationship, even if maintenance is being paid for these children, there's a discount applied.

Resident parents (usually mothers) are criticised if they dare to have more children as someone who receives maintenance 'you shouldn't have children you can't afford' but nrps are not usually subjected to the same criticism certainly not by govt, indeed they're rewarded.

No problem with people going on to new relationships and having more children BUT they should be expected to do so in a way that considers they still have half responsibility for the children of the first relationship.

Graphista · 06/12/2016 18:02

Sorry if that sounds muddled I can't think how else to put it. Confused

satinthedark · 06/12/2016 19:45

We get it Graphista!

Areswipe is high income+++

2 yrs of nothing, 1 yr I have 2 kids at home aswell ( her 2) so can not afford my own, to £540pcm, reduced if he takes them on holiday to pay their flights and costs- 3 times over 4 yrs, he takes monies off if he buys them clothes, sport kit - takes them out for a meal etc.

Had another DC with his DP, reduced it further.

Now split up with his new DP andgives her double what he pays for his eldest 2.

Twunt - what more can I say.

Currently teling me he needs to reduce it further because he needs to buy a house for himself.

I got - nothing from the split!

Graphista · 06/12/2016 19:55

Arsewipe indeed! I have my ex under a derogatory name in my phone contacts

Petty? Childish? Yes

Satisfactory though? A tiny way of hitting back? Bigger yes!

BastardBernie · 06/12/2016 19:57

£170pm for one child; he's self employed, what can I do? Angry

TheWeeBabySeamus1 · 06/12/2016 20:02

Not a brass farthing, he works cash in hand so can't prove a thing. I've just gone back to work and am shelling out over £100 for 2 days childcare, whilst he can work all the hours he wants and keeps every penny for himself. Didn't even get our son a birthday present last week. Angry

Graphista · 06/12/2016 20:07

Bernie to get that much out of a self employed ex is a bloody miracle! Many self employed nrp pay nothing it's a well known loophole recommended on the sites these arsewipes use!

Graphista · 06/12/2016 20:08

I text yesterday regarding Christmas present for dd - no reply which going by past action means at best she'll get £20 late Jan

IneedAqueenMortificadoNickname · 06/12/2016 20:09

2 dc. He has them for not overnights.

I get the grand sum of nothing.
I used to get £5 per week but CSA closed my case and I don't have the spare £20 to open one with cms Sad

lotsoffreckles · 06/12/2016 21:32

Graphista thank you.

The way I saw it was I got a sneak peek at what my DH would be like as a father when I met him and what an amazing one he is, our DC is incredibly lucky. Yes his 1st marriage broke down, they say they married to young but they still have a friendship and I as the 2nd wife count myself incredibly lucky for this relationship. He loves and respects her as the mother of his children and I love him for that. X

Graphista · 06/12/2016 21:37

Lotsoffreckles

Sounds like a good man and a lovely ex wife there. Sadly your situation all too rare.

Pidlan · 06/12/2016 22:08

lotsoffreckles Your posts made me really emotional. You're lovely! FlowersFlowersFlowers

lotsoffreckles · 06/12/2016 22:24

Thank you Blush

Don't see me and DH as anything special just a normal family which happens to be blended and I'm incredibly lucky that my DSD's choose to love me. As I said before it's awful that you all have to fight for every scrap of acknowledgement it makes my blood boil for you Angry

PollyPelargonium52 · 07/12/2016 05:21

Ds's father was paying £175 pcm for years (when we lived in London he used to pay £250 owing to higher bills) but as he is having financial difficulties I suggested he reduced it to £125 pcm. He is dyslexic so takes forever to amend standing orders which is in my favour! He said he would reduce it soon to £150 pcm instead which is fine by me. At least he is responsible financially. On occasions he has even credited me with an additional £50 for e.g. Xmas/birthday monies for our ds who is now 11.

BigFatBollocks · 07/12/2016 05:35

Zilch! And I have 3.

Zoflorabore · 07/12/2016 05:39

Split up with ex in 2005 when ds was 2, we agreed £140 pm.
Fast forward to 2016 and ds is now 13, i still receive £140 pm, makes me so angry.

He has a one year old with new wife and has reduced contact with ds since, he will not take him on their family holidays and his wife treats ds like an inconvenience.

It makes me more angry though that some women are not getting a penny, that's disgusting. I suppose I'm lucky in a way so shouldn't complain but he constantly flaunts his money at us, trips to the Caribbean, new car etc and will then say he's "skint" when I've asked him to contribute towards ds's school trip abroad.

He's currently playing super dad with his new son and my ds has been pretty much abandoned- I've managed to remain positive and friendly towards him for ds sake but it takes a lot of willpower:)

Starlight2345 · 07/12/2016 16:14

Zoflora .. can't you go to the CSA?

DramaInPyjamas · 08/12/2016 17:09

Last I heard my ex was arguing/ignoring letters with cms over £11 a week for two kids.

£5.50 per child - that's half a weeks lunch or a school bus ticket and a packet of crisps.
Actually arguing and ignoring letters over that!!

I'm secretly hoping they make an example of him and throw him in jail.

literallytotally · 08/12/2016 17:11

£7 per week for one child Hmm

Graphista · 08/12/2016 17:28

Starlight it's cms now and zoflora would need to pay £20 money not every single parent has available.

Plus it's paying £20 when zoflora (who can of course correct me if wrong) might already know he's the type to use every loophole to escape paying therefore much needed money down the drain.

onanotherday · 08/12/2016 23:29

Nothing for two dc's ..
Ex has buggered off overseas so can not inforce..also no contact other than whatsap and one week in the summer with his extended family..so didn't have to parent with granny aroundAngry

CL12345 · 09/12/2016 06:40

Dc's dad is paying half of their nursery fees (£600/pcm). From time to time he complains that he is paying me twice more that what CMS suggests he should pay.
Makes my blood boils!
"You're not paying ME anything you idiot! You're paying half your DC's childcare so that both YOU and I can work full time!"