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Lone parents

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Original poster

Poll - child maintenance - how much do you get?

136 replies

Sumwoman · 04/12/2016 17:42

I have had a disagreement with my ex about how much he should pay since we split 10 year ago. He currently pays £250pm. I have two teenage boys aged 14 and 16 who are both still in education. They live with me most of the time and visit him on alternate weekends. I cover all the costs of clothes, hobbies, school trips etc. He pays child maintenance and covers the cost of food/clothes for when they are at his every other weekend. He has a good job and is probably earning £40k plus but he now has a new wife and has had two more children.

I am interested in how much child maintenance is considered reasonable? How much do people think it costs monthly to bring up two children? All I want is for him to share this cost equally.

I appreciate people taking the time to respond.

OP posts:

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AliOh · 10/12/2016 11:56

My ex lied about his income to CMS so they calculated maintenance as £13 a week for 2 children! He was earning £800 a week at the time luckily I have a very nice (ex) FIL who is currently paying £50 a week maintenance for his grandchildren, he was totally embarrassed and horrific that ex 'd'p was refusing to pay more.

TheFlyingFauxPas · 10/12/2016 12:01

Fuck all. The price we pay for a safe and quiet life.

charlybear7 · 10/12/2016 13:19

CL12345 that is pretty decent of him compared to my ex! I've always worked full time but since my ex left I couldn't afford childcare on my salary for 2 children. I've reduced my hours to 16 so I can then claim tax credits! It's all bonkers really as my work need me to work more hours (I'm a nurse in a gp surgery) but if I work more I pay more in childcare and get less in tax credits meaning I'm worse off!!

My ex refuses to pay any childcare! So he gets to work full time and I don't get that option 😬

MissWimpyDimple · 12/12/2016 00:02

I get £450 per month for one DD. Has varied between 300 and 500 and I've left it to him to caliculate what he is paying. I suspect it's slightly above CSA would be.

I do pay for everything out of that though and she does some quite specific and expensive activities that probably cost about £150 a month.

He has three other children now. I suspect he probably struggles to pay us but it's guilt
money as much as anything else!

Grinchmiss · 12/12/2016 00:09

DH pays £1400 a month for two kids. His ex feels incredibly hard done by. We have since had two children. The amount was never changed.

Sleepingonthebus · 12/12/2016 00:12

£7 a week for 2 DS and he grudges even that. No further help for trips, uniforms etc. Runs his own successful business.

ColourfulOrangex · 14/12/2016 20:02

My sons dad is supposed to pay £6.29 a week...he hasn't paid for over 2 years not sure what it's expected to pay for even if he did pay

Minikievs · 14/12/2016 20:04

Zero. Two kids, 6 and 3. Arsehole

Minikievs · 14/12/2016 20:05

Grinchmiss Wow!

KellyElly · 14/12/2016 20:06

I get £130 pm for one DD. I have her 100% of the time and he doesn't buy her anything else. He still thinks he's dad of the year and doing me a favour with his generosity

Kim82 · 14/12/2016 20:13

My ex pays £40 per week for two children. He usually sees ds once a week, dd doesn't go at all. He doesn't pay a penny over and above the £40 - he won't buy them any clothes or shoes, doesn't pay towards school uniforms or trips etc, never paid towards school clubs, childcare or swimming lessons when they were younger - that £40 per week is all they have ever got and the sum has never changed apart from the two years he paid nothing. He doesn't spend much on them for Christmas or their birthdays either and has only ever taken them on holiday once (they were 3 and 6 at the time and they are 12 and 15 now) and he brought them home 2 days early from that holiday too which just happened to be the day I had given birth to my third child that bloody morning!

I'd like to say he is struggling for money but he has two houses, recently bought a moped and a motorbike and goes on holiday with his girlfriend and her son most years...

marriednotdead · 14/12/2016 20:46

Ex no.1 paid nothing until DD went to secondary school- he actually quit a job to dodge an attachment of earnings. Bought the odd coat/pair of shoes. From 11 he paid a mobile contract and gave a small cash allowance direct to DD.

Ex no.2 was relatively new on the scene, horrified at the lack of responsibility, and swore he would never do that if we had any DC. He was true to his word and banked a mutually agreed amount without comment for the 15+ years after we split until DS was out of education, he still props him up when needed. He's married and has more DCs.

Earlier this year, I got a letter out of the blue from CMS asking if I wanted them to pursue the £33k debt accrued by Ex no.1. DD will shortly be 30!
Told them not to bother but said she could wave it under his nose when asking for contributions to her wedding fund

Marmalade85 · 15/12/2016 19:32

£287pcm for my son as he also pays CM to another child he doesn't live with. I pay £1400 childcare so I can work full time.

charlybear7 · 15/12/2016 20:31

Can anyone please explain why my new updated monthly payment doesn't start until the month after the renewal?

Example: review date Dec 13th, amount increased but won't change until Feb 1st!

Each time I ring cms I get a different story/answer to my query!🤔

Kflori · 21/12/2016 17:09

Another one with pretty much nothing here - Just over £30/month for two children (6 & 7). Ex doesn't work (he says) and living on benefits...
Doesn't ever see them (and if he wanted to, would only be allowed supervised contact, anyway).
Both get a card for their Birthdays and Christmas with £10 in it.

unicornpoopoop · 21/12/2016 17:12

I get between 200 and 250 a month for one child. If I'm lucky... This year he's behind by £1600.

He doesn't pay for anything else. Not even birthday and xmas presents

Never gone to cms, as often he does unregistered work so I would probably end up getting less anyway

SuffolkBumkin · 21/12/2016 17:17

2 children with ex, pays nothing as he is not British and lives abroad. Doesn't even send an xmas card.

MrTumblesbitch · 21/12/2016 17:32

Ds is 4, his dad left when I was pregnant but always paid £250 a month (massively under what he should have been but he is abroad with no CMS agreement)

When ds went to nursery at 3, his dad was adamant he wanted him to go private so we now have the arrangement that I receive nothing, but ds dad pays all the school fees.

His parents /friends tell me he is the best dad ever and amazing to do such a thing, but he sees ds rarely (disinterested) and pays nothing towards the costs of sending ds private like uniform - let alone thr cost of actually raising him like food etc.

I probably come across as receiving a lot financially but appearing bitter / resentful to outsiders. I feel manipulated so ds dad looks brilliant, without actually being involved with our son. It could be worse, and I am grateful for the opportunity for ds though

JMKid · 21/12/2016 19:06

Nothing for now almost a year despite going through cms.

Helloooooitsme · 21/12/2016 19:08

£6 something a week for two children and I wouldn't get that if it didn't come out of his benefits.

Gizmo79 · 21/12/2016 19:27

Can I ask if anyone knows why my ex is allowed to not make this months payment? CMO don't know why, ex will not respond and after finally having about 6 months of payments (out of the last 9 years) I feel extremely frustrated that this is all going to restart yet again. Especially right before a Christmas.

Oh and I was getting 130 for one Dd after nothing for years on end, however, it should have been double but apparently regular OT is not included....
Never paid for childcare and no contact for years. Pathetic man:(

BlackIsTheNewBlack · 21/12/2016 22:11

Zero pm. It sucks.

sailinggirl1780 · 24/12/2016 07:10

Well I get a letter each week from the CMS saying that they haven't been able to collect the £15 a week for my 13 year old. I'm owed 4 years (or is it 5 now) and obviously a man who has recently bought a house just shy of half a million only earns 9k a year!!! I give up.

OopsDearyMe · 24/12/2016 20:41

Omg I get £12 per week for 3 children aged 10,8 &6!!!!!!!!!!

OopsDearyMe · 24/12/2016 20:46

I am amazed at the differences. The problem is all this useless means tested bullshit! A child costs what a child costs, despite what you earn FFS

And why would you turn 33k down !!!!!

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