Number 2 Thread When You Are Fed Up With The Solitary Burden Of Single Parentdom

[Solo]

Happy New Year and Happy New Thread to all the single parents looking for a place to rant, rave, moan, share the highs and the lows and chat with people that know! It is the second thread and probably a slow one if the first is anything to go by, but it's here when we need it.

LINK TO THE FIRST THREAD

Also we did not get the school reports until Monday evening. There was the year 6 school party Mon evening and Wed and Thurs is the play. So it does not leave much chance for any chat with the teacher. Not that I wish to go and talk to the woman I feel too upset.

flower that's poor form from the school imo. At the very least they should send out reports a little sooner so you can unpick any issues before the term finishes. He's going up to secondary I assume?

Yes meglet he will be going on to secondary school in the autumn but now I am going to have a poor view on the school now. Not something you want to walk away with after all these years going there! Ds doesn't appear upset but I am drained from it all quite honestly and for the past 48 hours have been on the brink of tears. Anyway I will get a private maths tutor (more expense!) starting end August and no doubt there will be additional support given to those who did not make the grade in secondary school year 7 as they have done this in previous years for those who did not pass in year 6.

I'm a primary teacher and I have to say that's really poor form Flower.

There should never be any nasty surprises in a report and you should always be given the chance to go in afterwards and discuss. We always give ours out a few days before a parents evening.

Plus, at primary there's really no excuse for not putting some kind of positive spin on it. I always try hard to be positive, whilst remaining truthful.

If it was mine, I'd be penning a strong email addressing each point in turn and saying how disappointed I was. I would also require an answer from the school, holidays or no, even if you have to wait a few weeks I'd want to see what they had to say.

Above all, try to brush it off. Reports are written quickly by overworked and stressed teachers and quite honestly I'd even take a good one with a pinch of salt. Having written hundreds myself I don't now set any store whatsoever by the reports my kids receive! I've seen behind the curtain

(nc again....)

That's interesting doing ...Do you really feel the need to nc again? You have given nothing away that could identify you imo

My Dd's report was good, but I've had quite a lot of negativity this past few months as Dd has been constantly bullied over the years and I have finally put it in writing and so did Dd (I may need to nc myself). The dep has taken it very seriously and I can only hope that the next 2 years are beyond better for Dd.

Flower I would definitely tell them your concerns. They may even change the report into a more positive one which won't change what they have done, but may be better for your Ds. This happened for my Ds at secondary school. His form teacher for the entire 5 years took a dislike to Ds after he did something very stupid on fb in year 7. The teacher was unpleasant to Ds from that moment on despite Ds being punished for the misdemeanour...his last school report (before leaving for 6th form) was by far the worst - completely unacceptable to my mind and not at all encouraging...kind of 'oh dear! Look at all those 4's again Bob'. I sent back the reply expressing my disgust and had the HOY phone me. He said he'd rewrite it and it too was awful! It just wished Ds luck in the future! So I took it to the top tier and got a reasonable report from the dep; it didn't say anything that wasn't true, but it didn't pull Ds apart either. I still have them all and the first two make me sick to my stomach. Kids need encouragement - even the ones that don't conform. I hope you get a good response Flower .

Thank you dear ladies Doing and Solo.

I may still write a letter of complaint to the head. It has ruined my week. Ds isn't overly upset he is made of strong stuff! I am working on finding him a maths private tutor so that will be progress.

Perhaps I will type up a letter in the morning and hand deliver in their letter box. I may not get an answer immediately but at least it would be off my chest!

Hi solo, I know, I didn't mean I'd changed for that post, just that I have, since I last posted here, nc (again)

It's annoying when I'm posting on long threads like this that I nc a lot, but I've had issues in the past with my ex and it's just made me super careful ever since. I just wanted to point out I'm not a new poster

Flower you must do what you feel is the right thing to do :) and getting it off your chest is not a bad thing ime!

Doing I understand :) you don't have to explain yourself to me...

Hot and stuffy tonight!

I bloody know! I've got footner on (two big plastic bags on my feet) and I'm sweating cobs!

Stuffy and yuck.

Although I was expecting last night to be warmer, and left dd's window open and fan on. I went in at 6am and she was shivering under the sheet, completely covered head to toe. Poor mite!

Sorry doing :) I have to tell you ~ the visual made me smile . Yes, it was cooler last night and it's impossible to predict. Crazy weather!

Hi everyone - haven't been about for ages, sorry, but a got a new job that was supposed to have helped and ended up going through hell and back and only just seeing the light at the end of the tunnel with it.

I just need somewhere to say this. I found a lump in my breast last Sunday night. The Dr checked it out, I have a hospital appointment and I'm there soon. He doesn't think it's cancer, just a cyst.

I wasn't going to tell anyone but ended up telling my sister (she's gone away for the weekend and didn't want to spoil it for her) and a mate who's also a lp with a hell of a lot on so didn't want to tell her. I feel so alone - I just wish I had someone special to put their arms round me and tell me it'll be ok. I'm hiding it from dd - don't want to ruin her summer. And now I have to put the mask on and go to parents for the day to keep normality up. And I really don't want to tell them - my mother would never shut up about it.

Sorry to just come back after all this time and dump my crap - it could be worse, I could still be with either xh who both would have turned it into them.......

Fos how great to see you. Talk away lovely; it can be good and therapeutic to just write it down. I'm sorry to hear about the lump; I had one a year ago and was referred too. It turned out to be nothing, but it can be scary. Please, please try not to keep thinking about it too much unless you have to as it'll drive you crazy. Do keep posting and I will try to be here every evening for you. Also, whether you like it or not...(((hugs))) from me.x

Thanks Solo. Don't know if it's a good thing or not but dd's at her dads then away on a camp for the following week. I'm feeling a bit crap as yet again another Summer is here and I've got just 1 week off and the 5 days that I was hoping to slot in as odd days looks like no bloody chance......but on the plus side I have an interview for a permanent post (currently on a fixed term contract) so I have that to look forwards to.
And I've started OLD. So far a few disasters (Mr actually 20 years older and not 10, Mr yes we'll meet up but yet again I've had a drink despite what we said and can't drive, Mr I live 60 miles away and forgot to tell you I don't have a car......). Current one seems very nice but v busy and is currently away on a lad and dad weekend so I've not texted him and it seems like ages since we spoke and I'm hoping he still wants to meet up after the weekend trip......

Had a few tears yesterday as it all got a bit much but I have dd with me today so determined to enjoy every moment.

How's things with you? And thank you for the hug / it's something that I really miss x

Just take it all a day at a time if you can.
Good for you with OLD; I stopped looking at it all as I just can't be doing with it and men. I've now been on my own for almost 8 years. Had 2 dates during that time, but no chemistry or biology

My Dd is off to Grandma's this evening. I'm working full time for 2 weeks and I'm not looking forward to it. Just so knackered.

Other news!!! My Ds is returning home!

That's fantastic news about your Ds - I remember it all from about a year ago, didn't he want to do electrical engineering or is my memory playing tricks again???
Just been to get clothes for guide camp (and it's better stay bloody warm!!!) and we've decided if it's a week when she's at her dads then we go out for Sunday lunch and make it a bit more special

Good memory! He was at my Mums for a while, but came back. He moved in with his friend and friends girlfriend and his friends mum two months ago. She's 4 months in rent arrears despite only needing the amount my Ds has paid her to top up...seems she is a pot head. Ds is anti drugs and says he didn't know...Soooo, we shall see what happens.

I love eating out :) enjoy!!

Fingers crossed for you Solo - good to hear that he's anti drugs, would have been so easy for him to have got dragged into it living with it in the same house

Solo pleased to hear ds is coming home.

Thank you...just got used to less laundry...

Hi Fos, and good luck to you as far as your health goes - fingers crossed for you here

Solo he's coming home! What did we say? what swung it for him in the end?

Well I did find something to take my mind off it - an internal job interview with the department....will be cracking open a can tonight, won't find out for a few days,.......

Oooh well done you! Fingers crossed!

Well current one did get back in touch after his trip.........to tell me he was too busy to be boyfriend material. The 1st one that as soon as I saw him I thought 'he's nice!'.

Tosser. ........

Oh. And didn't get the job either.

Not my week

Oh dear Fos. Onwards and upwards