Number 2 Thread When You Are Fed Up With The Solitary Burden Of Single Parentdom

[Solo]

Happy New Year and Happy New Thread to all the single parents looking for a place to rant, rave, moan, share the highs and the lows and chat with people that know! It is the second thread and probably a slow one if the first is anything to go by, but it's here when we need it.

LINK TO THE FIRST THREAD

Typical teenager. This too shall pass!! Maybe it's the shove he needs to get a job and fend for himself? He's going to be 18 soon after all.

Yes I know...I just worry (of course) and I do want him to grow, but I really wanted him to want to be at home for another few years :(

sorry he's being so stubborn solo. Maybe his friends parents will nudge him in the right direction.

Almost half term here. We're going to family in Devon for a couple of days, and having a few days at home. I'm at work one day but mum is able to have the kids so I won't have to haul them to holiday club for once which is a relief.

I agree, maybe his friends parents will support you, and/or he'll decide it's better at home!

We're on half term from today - 10 days plus the sun is shining. We're having a lazy day today and then next week got a couple of trips planned. Plus DD will be at her dads overnight. I usually work when she's there so next week the prospect of two days and a night on my own with no work is delicious.... I'm going to the hairdresser!

Well there's no communication between the friend, his mum or me because I don't actually know them; I doubt she'll support my way of thinking because if she was anything like me she would have entered into conversation with me about my 17yo going to live with her. In recent months there was the possibility of Ds's (now) exgf living here when she reached 16; there is no way I would not have at least tried to connect with her parents first.

Well, our journey down the A303 peaked when dd grabbed ds's purse, so ds kicked dd's little car tray off, and she bludgeoned him in the head with it. I shouted. A lot. Bloody lunatics.

solo I'd liase with the other parents if it was me too. Some people are hopeless.

interesting journey meglet.

sorry I laughed..

reminds me of the time ds attacked dd with the spade and flicked sand into the cd player and across the dashboard. and me trying to take the bloody thing off him while driving and attempting to find somewhere to stop. autism makes life so interesting.

Solo sometimes a little space is best. I was a horribly self centred teen (like most!), thought my parents were the pits, moved out aged 16 and quickly realised how lucky I'd had it. Never moved back in permanently as pride prevented it / went on to college etc, but we are now very close.

I. Hate. The. Beach.
I'm not letting them in the sea today I simply cannot be arsed with wetsuits, waves, whinging about being cold and getting out after 5 mins.

(Happy bank holiday weekend ).

Goodness meglet you sound like I often feel/felt when I take the Dc/s away.

Enjoy the week.

Ds hasn't bothered to contact me :(

Hi y'all, funny, the good weather makes me realise all the things I could/would be doing if I had a half decent H to go places with, if I were 'normal' enough to be included........

Anyway, this weekend, it was my dc fighting with each other and with me that had me feeling quite desperate. They will remember their childhood with such misery. All they ever do is fight, if they're not fighting with each other they're being vile to me.

I try to float above it.

I did date somebody early in the year but he dumped me cos he apparently couldn't 'do' kids all over again. (his dc a young adult)

Blimey Solo, that is rough

Haha meglet, quite

I understand your frustration - look forward to something, pack all the stuff in the car, make a picnic, get there..... and you get precisely ten minutes peace before the whining starts! Arghhhhhhh!

We actually had the opposite experience yesterday. We watched a cartoon about a teddy bears picnic so we went on our own. Against all expectations everyone had a lovely time

How are you today solo? Has your ds contacted you yet or still on radio silence?

No more beach for us, we're home now. So like you chat they're being vile to each other or to me. I worry about how they'll look back on their childhoods. Anything that should be nice seems to end up being crap .

... except Go Ape Junior. That was ace. They couldn't fight when they were on ropes up trees with me between them (Ho ho). A surprisingly fun day.

Half term over on Monday.

Nearly there. Don't feel like I've spoken to another adult in days!

iris I took the dc's on a long circuitous walk around the allotments this afternoon under the pretence of seeing what everyone else was growing. It was mainly so I could have a chat with grown ups .

Hi, long time lurker here - but thought it was about time I posted! Been a lone parent to 2 children for 8.5 years - kids now 11 and 9.
The children see their dad every other weekend and he lives about 50 mins away. He is not really an active participant in the children's day to day lives. Breezes in and whisks them off then drops them back to me for the grunt work. However, he is reliable, pays his maintenance etc. so do appreciate that!

I had been puddling along ok until recently, but my mental health has taken a downturn lately so not really tip top! I think the crisis point came when I took the children away for a week recently and realised just how alone I was - not having another adult to talk to is hard and lonely!

On the plus side I have a lot to look forward to - I am going back to Uni in Sept and whilst this is great, I am going to be even skinter than I currently am - and that is bad! It is hard work keeping everything afloat and at times like this would dearly love another responsible adult to be about to share the stress! I realise that isn't all roses though!

I just wanted to participate in this thread to feel less alone really. We all do such a fan job so wanted to virtually fist bump you all as well

That sounds hard Leo, but well done on getting to uni - that's a massive step! Your kids will see that too, what a great influence on them you are

Thank you kitchenunit - I am proud and I know the children are as well!

Hi LTV and welcome! I do hear what you are saying about the whole realising just how lonely you are; it's suddenly a shock isn't it? And somehow, it happens over and over as if it's a brand new realisation! Crazy and very sad :(. You aren't alone though, as we are in the same bpoat, so can paddle together...Grab an oar!

Hi Solo,

Yes, very true - it shouldn't be a surprise but somehow it is! Oar grabbed and I am paddling with you all - onward and upward!

just been pondering the local school jobs vacancies. In theory I could probably do and be offered one of the administration jobs but if I did I would no longer have any annual leave to myself or days off in the week, unless it's school hols when I'd be with the kids. So effectively no time to myself for approx 4yrs until dd leaves primary school . I did think that money I'd save on holiday childcare could be used for babysitters so I could go for a run in the evenings but that would just stress the dc's. So another four years of where I am (and hate) until I can job hunt. Poo bums.

Anyway, we're having a reasonable weekend. Dc's not currently fighting, got some sunflowers to plant out in a bit. Hope everyone else is muddling through.

Meglet the only reason I would want to work in a school would be for the school holidays! But I totally understand you wanting some you time , I don't get any either!

How are you all doing? :)