Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Lone parents

Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

Original poster

Ex p has just announced he's taking dd2 to Spain on Friday

35 replies

Emochild · 22/07/2015 10:04

They were supposed to be going to Wales

Obviously I have no problem him taking her to Spain, it will be a nice holiday for her but she doesn't have clothes suitable for the climate and exp is expecting me to sort this out

She's a jeans and tshirts kind of 11 year old, owns no dresses and only 1 pair of shorts -not a problem in Wales but in 30 degrees heat it's a different story

He's now making me out to be the bad guy and 'he pays maintenance so I can get her clothes'
Had I had 6 months notice I could have budgeted for holiday clothes -but not on 2 days notice!

Gah!!!!!

OP posts:
learnsomethingnew · 22/07/2015 10:56

Tell him to foot the bill himself. Its his decision to take her and as you said he hasn't given you any notice he cannot expect you to just foot the bill. I wouldn't financially be able to do that at such short notice so I'm afraid my child wouldn't be able to go. It will be a tough message to deliver to your DD but clothes don't grow on trees

BeautifulBatman · 22/07/2015 10:58

Trip to primark for shorts and vests?

LIZS · 22/07/2015 10:59

She'll probably live in a swimsuit and flip flops. Can you manage some mix and match items from h and m or a supermarket -t shirts/tops/shorts. They can be rinsed through and dry overnight if needs be.

titchy · 22/07/2015 10:59

She'll only need a swimming costume tbh! But yeah tell him to go swivel. Does she think she eats air?

titchy · 22/07/2015 11:00

Don't go to primark - can can buy stuff out there if she runs out.

CamelHump · 22/07/2015 11:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
Emochild · 22/07/2015 11:09

She has a swimming costume, no flip flops but i'm sure I can rustle some of those up

She's very fair skinned and needs lightweight but covers your shoulders type clothes

I've taken her abroad but never later in the year than may and she wasn't ok in vests then

And yes apparently both dc only eat air!

OP posts:
Original poster
Emochild · 22/07/2015 11:10

3 tshirts for an 11 year old for £2.50? Really???

OP posts:
Penfold007 · 22/07/2015 11:21

What summer clothes does your DD have?

mojo17 · 22/07/2015 11:24

Is he only taking one of his children with him?
Won't that cause problems?
I would say he takes all the dcs or none as it's not fair on the one who goes (causing resentments) or the ones who get left behind how hurtful.
I would only pack what she has he can buy what she needs out there but pack loads of us cream and aftercare cream and drill I to her/them to use it

Original poster
Emochild · 22/07/2015 11:27

He's only taking one, older one didn't want to go to Wales so she's not been offered Spain -she wouldn't want to anyway, she hates hot weather and her not seeing him is not a new thing

The only summer clothes dd has is a couple of tshirts and a couple of vests that she wears under hoodys -she's not interested in clothes and tends to wear the same jeans, tshirt and hoody repeatedly

OP posts:
TheHouseOnBellSt · 22/07/2015 11:34

Primark does tops for under 2.00 and shorts are not expensive either. Have you a spare 15 quid? That will get t shirts, shorts and flip flops.

BeautifulBatman · 22/07/2015 11:36

titchy if the dad can't be arsed now, what makes you think he'll take DD shopping g once they're away??

CamelHump · 22/07/2015 11:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LovesYoungDream · 22/07/2015 12:02

Lucky dd! Don't forget a good factor/water resistant sunscreen and a sun hat. He needs to be responsible about applying it and keeping her hydrated in the sun. Does your dd have a valid passport. Does she have the same surname as your ex - if not, has he made arrangements so there won't be a problem boarding under different surnames?
There's plenty of places to get cheap summer clothes but if you haven't budgeted for it, can he pay towards getting some?
She'll have a great time and you get to have some time to yourself too so a win win for everyone

Original poster
Emochild · 22/07/2015 12:11

Camel thanks for the suggestion but those only go up to 6-7, she's a tall 11 year old

She's very sensible about her own sun care but I've got some factor 50 I will send with her -his idea of high factor is 15

She has 1 year left on her passport, I've no idea where her ehic card is though, wasn't expecting to need it again
He says he will have travel insurance though so not sure if she needs it

They have the same surname so travel shouldn't be a problem

I can spend £20 but it means i'm going to have to cancel a day out I had planned for after she's been to her dads

Disney parenting again!

OP posts:
iwantgin · 22/07/2015 12:16

I can understand your frustration about him just landing this on you. Expecting you to sort out her holiday wardrobe etc.

BUT - I am only envious as XH has NEVER taken our DS on holiday. He has taken his subsequent wives/gf and children. But not DS.

So - I can only see it as a good thing.

If I were you I would just nip out to the supermarket - George, Sainsburys or Primark. Get a couple of shorts/skirts/tops maybe a light dresss or two. Keep it simple, she won't need much if she isn't into fashion so much.

You need EHIC really. Travel insurance sometimes will expect that you have the EHIC too - so that you can access that health cover first. If you can't find the card you can call them, and re-apply - keeping a note of the reference number, which will suffice if she leaves before the card comes through.

LIZS · 22/07/2015 12:29

For ehic reapply online ( you have to do yours too as you can't do a child alone) and give them the reference number. You don't need the card itself.

CamelHump · 22/07/2015 13:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

yomellamoHelly · 22/07/2015 14:02

Could she wear any of your clothes?
(I fit in my nearly 12 year old's clothes. Not a perferct fit - too short in body etc - but doesn't have to be perfect.)

Original poster
Emochild · 22/07/2015 14:11

Unfortunately i'm 6 foot tall so not an option -although some of my tops might make good dresses Grin

OP posts:
cestlavielife · 22/07/2015 15:02

just let her go with her vest tops swim costume and sun cream and flip flops. if she needs more she can ask dad to provide. they will sell cheap t shirts etc out there .

NameChange30 · 22/07/2015 15:13
  1. You can't rely on her dad buying her clothes while they're on holiday. He wasn't responsible enough to plan in advance, he is being stingy and refusing to pay for clothes now, so why would he spend his precious holiday time and money buying her clothes? For all we know he might just let her wear dirty/uncomfortable clothes.
  2. OP you should insist that he gives you £x (whatever you need for the minimum essentials from supermarket/Primark) or she is not going! Put your foot down!
NameChange30 · 22/07/2015 15:20

"I can spend £20 but it means i'm going to have to cancel a day out I had planned for after she's been to her dads"

DO NOT cancel your day out! Ring fence that £20!

Seriously, he contributes £15-20 so you can get her holiday essentials or she doesn't go.

Just read that he wouldn't even provide proper sun cream, fucking brilliant. So the factor 50 you give her comes from thin air as well, does it?!

cestlavielife · 22/07/2015 16:53

she has t shirts, vests, a swimming costume and a pair of shorts. that is fine. she doesn't need much more. let her go with what she has.

essential is sun cream obviously.