Ex p has just announced he's taking dd2 to Spain on Friday

[Emochild]

They were supposed to be going to Wales

Obviously I have no problem him taking her to Spain, it will be a nice holiday for her but she doesn't have clothes suitable for the climate and exp is expecting me to sort this out

She's a jeans and tshirts kind of 11 year old, owns no dresses and only 1 pair of shorts -not a problem in Wales but in 30 degrees heat it's a different story

He's now making me out to be the bad guy and 'he pays maintenance so I can get her clothes'
Had I had 6 months notice I could have budgeted for holiday clothes -but not on 2 days notice!

Gah!!!!!

She doesn't have shorts?

Apparently she needs clothes for going out in the evenings, a beach towel, 2 swimming costumes, sun cream and after sun, a cardigan, sandals and trainers, and some shorts and tshirts

And a hat and sunglasses

And something to keep her occupied

And some batteries for her camera

He doesn't ask for much!

Oh no. Tell him he needs to buy most of that. You have £10 spare that you will use on t shirts and shorts from George and the rest is up to him.

You shouldn't have to pay because he hasn't been responsible enough to plan in advance.

He should contribute towards it.

I hope she has a nice time

There's a lovely slogan I've seen around recently: "Your lack of planning does not constitute my emergency."

Emo he seriously doesn't get to dictate. Yes maintenance is meant to cover clothing but not unexpected clothing. Does she have an old pair of jeans you could cut off? An ordinary towel will be fine and surely he has plenty of those. It's his responsibility to provide for his DCs when he has them.

I've got a towel for her, that's not a problem -it's just the list of demands that's frustrating

I'll have to dig through her jeans and see if there are any I can cut up -don't know why I hadn't thought of that

HE is taking her on holiday, he should provide everything she will need! He really is taking the piss.
Tell him he has two options:

• Buy everything himself
• Give you the money you need to buy it for her

Either way he needs to move sharpish if he wants them to go on Friday.

F*ing cheeky bastard.

Emo as a fellow mum I really do empathise. If DD isn't happy then your not either. Ex is well out of order though.

He needs to sort all of these things out. Put it back to him. I know you are trying to put Dd first, by standing up to this you are teaching DD a valuable lesson in dealing with bullies! Does he pay maintenance through CMS, does he not minus off for when DCs are with him? No way are you responsible for providing anything special. Let him take his list and shove....take it to primarni

He pays maintenance after bumping his pension up to reduce what he pays -he specifically told me that was the reason

He doesn't seem to realise that payments are calculated for the whole year and already take into account the number of nights a year he has her