Genuine questions for single parents-Don't want to cause offence!

[Hughesy123]

First off I just want to say that I hope I don't offend anyone, I just need to put my mind at rest as I'm currently in a situation with my younger sister were I think she has staged a break up with her partner in order to claim single parent benefits. I'll just state from the off, that I myself am married, so no, I have no idea what it must be like to have to raise children alone, I can only imagine that for some it must be incredibly difficult. I've suspected for a while now that my sister is on fiddle but i'd just like to get other people's perspectives as I'm not sure what is usual and typical behaviour when you're separated from your partner yet still trying to be amicable for the children.

From the start lol. They have three children together and they have been on/off breaking up for years. They own a house together but he has moved out and now lives at his grandads which is round the corner from where my sister now lives in her new rented council house! She claim they are not together but he is never away from her house. When he sees the kids it is always at my sisters house as he claims the kids can't go to his grandads house as he's too old.

So he hangs around the house like nothing has changed and then walks the 5 minute walk back to his grandads house. He still does diy jobs around the house for my sister, and has recently helped her decorate and fit carpets. They went on holiday together at Xmas claiming it was for the kids benefit, and if my sister goes out for a night out he will sleep over "on the couch"

Now like I said I've never been in the situation were I've been separated from my children's father and having work hard to keep it together for. Kids sake BUT surely this isn't normal?

My sister works 20 hours a week and claims tax credits, housing benefit, council tax the lot, and she quite openly said the other day that it's like her and her "ex" are a couple but there not! And that she makes sure he is not seen to be contributing to her house otherwise she may get into trouble. Now I know you'd probably think if there was something dodgy going on then she wouldn't dare come out with a comment like but that's what my sister is like, she plays mind tricks and somehow in her head bekwives she is doing nothing wrong.

Now I'm not sure no for sure if he does or doesn't contribute to bills/food etc but they are still carrying on like they are in a couple so surely that is wrong and could be deemed as still being a couple in the eyes of benefits system?

So I suppose what I'm asking is this typical behaviour for a single parent and a couple who chosen to separate? My sister lives the life of Riley, or out every weekend, always buying new clothes, splurging loads of money on my niece and nephews yet to me, If she genuinely is single and not earning too good money (which she doesn't ) then surely she wouldn't be able to afford to piss her money up the wall and live the way she does?

I know i probably reek of resentment and to be honest sometimes I am a bit, but it's mainly because I bekwives she is lying to me, and that he has staged this break up just to claim money she's not entitled to. I have genuine single friends, some who earn decent money and they can't afford to go out every Saturday night, they can't afford to have expensive hair cuts/manicure/lunches out with friends like my sister does, they are barely surviving, so what am I missing?

kitten

Bollocks. Fraud investigators and the compliance team have to use this thing called a rule book. It's usually considered to be really rather important. You get tested on it and everything.

(Notwithstanding that the 3 night thing really is urban myth).

As I said, in 25 yrs there has never been an issue with 'living together' if there is no partner contributing to the household income. I would look at bank accounts (yes we can obtain those) payments in and out, utility bills and who pays them, and the amount of time the other half spends at the home. - guess how that's worked out. As for the DMG , yes it's used but only in cases that are not prosecuted. There are two distinct depts in DWP one is fraud and the other is Criminal investigation. The former goes for Cautions/compliance and administrative penalties the latter for the full works of house raids/police station interviews under caution...and no, we don't have much to do with the DMG as that is a dwp procedure as opposed to a criminal procedure. It has much to do with the amount involved and the reason for the fraud. The DMG is a decision makers guide for the DWP whereas
Criminal investigation relies on an old fashioned jury to make their decisions.

Ok it might be morally strained but it's not actually fraud. They are living apart and the partner has no onus to pay anything other than whatever child maintance they've agreed. Their house together will feature in working out what amount of benefit she can claim.

To answer the question of what's typical then I agree you are being ridiculous. You need to really think it through.They might be doing stuff together but every lone parent who starts to go out with someone will do this. At what point do you give up lone parent status in your book? If you meet someone as a lone parent or not ,most buy gifts, help with meals or go on holiday. It's a normal part of dating and getting to know someone. In the case of lone parents I personally feel the process should go on longer than child free dating so you can be sure of who's coming into your child's life.

I think if anything her partner is more dishonest as he is prepared to " give up" his children in return for this new lone parent arrangement. Your sister is still bringing them up and working like she always has.

• As for the DMG , yes it's used but only in cases that are not prosecuted. There are two distinct depts in DWP one is fraud and the other is Criminal investigation. The former goes for Cautions/compliance and administrative penalties the latter for the full works of house raids/police station interviews under caution...and no, we don't have much to do with the DMG as that is a dwp procedure as opposed to a criminal procedure. It has much to do with the amount involved and the reason for the fraud. The DMG is a decision makers guide for the DWP whereas Criminal investigation relies on an old fashioned jury to make their decisions.*

That makes no kind of sense.

What you are telling us is that criminal prosecutions are brought by the DWP on the basis that claimants are living with a partner but not declarig it without reference to their own guidance on what constitutes living together.

And that the reason they don't consult their own guidance to see if it has been breached in the case in question, is BECAUSE a criminal prosecution is being considered?

How does a case get to the point of being considered for prosecution?

And it is also made quite clear within the rules (ohhhh those pesky things again) that if you are LTAHAW (note the first bit of that LT )it does not matter about financial contribution a bad relationship is still a relationship and should be a joint claim.

You can only prosecute if an actual offence has occurred. If the relationship does meet the criteria the dwp set as being a couple then it would automatically be an offence not to claim as such. If it does not then regardless of anything else it does not and as such no offence has occured.

If your sister's ex was living in a separate house/flat and not at his parents house living rent free, hence he was paying his own bills then that would be classed IMO as a separated couple. Living at your parents house paying no rent whilst the mother of your children lives separate claiming housing benefit to pay for her house is just taking the piss! OP you are right, and you are well within your rights to be annoyed.