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Lone parents

Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

Original poster

Fed up with not having anyone to share the burdens with.

960 replies

Solo · 20/08/2014 16:46

Bit of a self pitying thread really, but it's taken me a very long time and I can now say with conviction that after being on my own for so long...

I am fed up with the burden of being alone.
I am fed up with struggling on my own.
I am sometimes lonely.
I have no single parent friends or single friends at all and my 'social life' ha! what a joke is visiting my widowed Mum or visiting my Brother.
I miss my Dad terribly.
I can't get a job.
Not one 'friend' has spoken to me so far this summer holiday (except one that lives on cloud fluffyland in her mansion and that really cheers me up because shopping is her passtime!).

I could write a very long list of problems and yes, I know we all have problems, but I just don't want to do it on my own any longer, I don't want to face the problems on my own :( I could cry right now and need a real 'man hug' and I don't care who knows it!

OP posts:
misstiredbuthappy · 23/09/2014 15:24

Thank you I have to wait until the end of next week to hear from them. I hate waiting :)

How are you ?

LadySybilLikesCake · 23/09/2014 21:19

I was OK after having most of Saturday daytime off, oddly. I'm back at work now though so will catch up soon Smile

misstiredbuthappy · 23/09/2014 21:30

I'd be exhausted, how old are your dc ? Your a hard worker ill give you that Grin

Meglet · 23/09/2014 21:33

I've got my fingers crossed for you misstired Smile.

I often think of this thread when the dc's have exhausted me. I can't imagine how nice it must be having another willing parent in the house Confused.

LadySybilLikesCake · 23/09/2014 21:37

He's 15 now (I think he was 7 when I joined MN Blush ) Twas the pissing election last week and it was all hands on deck on top of the usual work. I don't mind pitching in and it will pay for me to clear the credit card off or something. I work from home so it's not too bad. Takes a minute to boil the kettle, leave the pasta to cook, 4 minutes to fry some pancetta, add some pesto and supper's sort of sorted. I'm thinking about getting a cleaner though, I can't do it all Sad

misstiredbuthappy · 23/09/2014 21:51

Thanks meglet I know it would be stange /nice to have a bit of help.

You should treat yourself then lady I'd LOVE a cleaner and a chef, chauffeur and a nanny

LadySybilLikesCake · 23/09/2014 21:57

I had a nanny. She had 2 of her own dc and quit after 2 weeks as she couldn't cope with 3 Confused I'd like a bigger house and a housekeeper Grin

misstiredbuthappy · 23/09/2014 22:14

I'd take a bigger house to please :) mind you saying that we would definitely need housekeepers then as there would be much more cleaning to do !

LadySybilLikesCake · 23/09/2014 22:19
Wink
Original poster
Solo · 24/09/2014 01:47

Oooh! I'd just like a third bedroom so I could have my bed/bedroom back and Dd could have a room to call her own and play in :(

Well, to add insult to injury, it seems that I have the possibility of NAFLD (liver disease) and I'm mighty hacked off with that. I don't even drink, he says it's down to fat and I have to go on a low fat diet. I hardly have any fat in my diet; never fry food, only use olive oil and Bertoli. What can I give up?!

OP posts:
TortillasAndChocolate · 24/09/2014 07:58

Morning, I've just read this thread - can I join you please? I'm a single parent to my 3 year old DS....

Solo, did they give you any advice on foods to cut out?

Lushlush · 24/09/2014 08:18

How lovely it would be to have a cleaner a chef a nanny and a capable gardener!!

Just a wonderful dream isn't it lol.

SpicedGingerTea · 24/09/2014 12:18

Morning, been away for a couple of weeks, back again. Smile Wanted to get this thread on my active list again, hope everyone is well.

My DS (18 months) is mega clingy after a holiday, literally holding onto my legs all yesterday and this morning when I dropped him off at the CM. Sad

LadySybilLikesCake · 24/09/2014 12:35

Oh, Solo Sad That must be a worry Thanks There's different sorts of fat, non saturated and saturated. Lots of foods contain the bad sort of fats, you wouldn't believe it! Generally, the less your food is messed with, the better. Processed foods, such as pizza (I'm really not saying you eat these) have had the wheat processed to make the dough, the tomatoes processed, milk processed etc. Take out ones are the worst. I have a low fat diet and my diet is mostly non processed. I don't eat bread, I eat lots of fish, brown rice, veg and fruit. I don't drink (much) alcohol. Could you try writing a food diary to see what you could cut back on?

I'd love a gardener, I don't have the time (and I'm 5 foot 2 so I can't reach). I've just sorted out a window cleaner and a chimney sweep though.

Hi, Tortillas Smile Why don't you tell us a little about yourself? Brew?

Hi, Tricky. Don't worry, it's been a change in routine for him so he needs some time to adjust. I hope you had a lovely holiday Smile

Lushlush · 24/09/2014 13:57

I would echo what LadySybil says I have taken myself in hand there are a lot of fats hidden in many food items and I have started only buying and eating fresh food, and I can honestly say that in a mere 4 days I have felt so much healthier.

I was previously buying frozen chicken fillets etc. and although they are cheap I am sure they are crap for our health....! Or at least not as good.

It really has made such a difference I am almost feeling the picture of health today which is a rare event for me! As I have been on a diet for just over one week now.....

LadySybilLikesCake · 24/09/2014 14:05

I changed mine a few months ago. My skin has cleared up (yipee!) and I generally feel well, which is some achievement considering I have MS and have felt like shit for years. The general rule is, the less the food is meddled with the better. It also depends on how you cook things too. Sausages (look for ones with a high mean percentage) retain a lot of the fat when they are fried or cooked in the oven. Grilling allows the fat to drip off. Cheap chickens tend to be pumped with all sorts Sad I'd rather pay a bit extra and have organic. I don't buy just the breast as it works out more expensive. I can get three days of meals for the 2 of us out of a whole chicken (roast, curry, stir fry, chicken salad etc).

Lushlush · 24/09/2014 14:18

I haven't felt this well in months and months. As soon as I have done with the diet I swear I won't ever buy frozen foods again only just for ds as a little treat as he has unfortunately grown quite partial to them now lol.

I think I will also cook meals like lentil curry with rice to offset the cost of the better foods as chicken and fish is fairly pricey and that way still remain as healthy as possible without going over the top on food cost outlay too much.....!

Original poster
Solo · 24/09/2014 14:26

I also cook from scratch and the only really processed meat we have occasionally are sausages and I do bake them in the oven as I can't use my grill. I eat granary bread bread from a proper bakers shop. I do eat white rice, but not often. Pasta sometimes. But in the main, it's fresh veg, I make my own pizza toppings (again, it's occasional).
I haven't had caffeinated tea or coffee for about 15 years or more, though obviously, I drink what I'm handed at friends houses.

Lady I have ME and I know it's not the same as MS, but it is debilitating too, so I try to look after my diet and keep as well as possible. HA!

Hi Tortillas :) no they gave me no advice at all. Just said about Olive Oil and Olive Oil spreads.

I've had Dd off ill for 3 days and she is better today, though still headachey and had a nosebleed in her sleep. Back to school tomorrow though I think.

OP posts:
Original poster
Solo · 24/09/2014 14:29

Lush your Ds will soon forget how they taste and later on he will have one and think 'yuk' if my Dc's are anything to go by :).

I think all these foods/ready meal type things are full of salt and sugar too, which are addictive.

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LadySybilLikesCake · 24/09/2014 14:30

I wish I could get ds to eat lentils Sad He's trying different foods, which is wonderful, and will eat different fish now. We don't eat frozen meals unless it's something that I've made myself and frozen. It's no effort to make an extra portion or 2 and freeze it.

It's great that you're feeling well, it makes a massive difference Smile

Lushlush · 24/09/2014 14:43

Why not try lentils in a curry or a bolognese Sybil?

Solo sorry to hear about all your health ailments. ME must be really depressing too.

As for ds yes you are right I should stop giving ds that muck he can clear up what is left then I will just inform him they have stopped stocking it in the supermarkets lol.

LadySybilLikesCake · 24/09/2014 15:28

He may go for bolognese, although at the moment he's only eating it with no veg in it apart from the sauce. I need a decent blender to try to hide veg Grin

I remember you saying you have ME, Solo. I've been around for a while (I used to be belledechocolatechipcookie). Your diet sounds OK Confused Maybe it's genetic?

Original poster
Solo · 25/09/2014 01:05

Ha! I wondered where you'd gone belle!!!

No idea why or how, but I need to sort it out!

My Ds hates lentils too. Any kind of pulses, you just can't hide them from him. I'm lucky that my Dc's are not fussy in the main and will eat well.

ME quite bad, but I try to push on...have much to do here at home!!

OP posts:
misstiredbuthappy · 25/09/2014 19:54

I love how many posts there are on this thread :) its nice to have someone to talk with isnt it.

Original poster
Solo · 25/09/2014 23:01

Yes it is! :)

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