Fed up with not having anyone to share the burdens with.

[Solo]

Bit of a self pitying thread really, but it's taken me a very long time and I can now say with conviction that after being on my own for so long...

I am fed up with the burden of being alone.
I am fed up with struggling on my own.
I am sometimes lonely.
I have no single parent friends or single friends at all and my 'social life' ha! what a joke is visiting my widowed Mum or visiting my Brother.
I miss my Dad terribly.
I can't get a job.
Not one 'friend' has spoken to me so far this summer holiday (except one that lives on cloud fluffyland in her mansion and that really cheers me up because shopping is her passtime!).

I could write a very long list of problems and yes, I know we all have problems, but I just don't want to do it on my own any longer, I don't want to face the problems on my own :( I could cry right now and need a real 'man hug' and I don't care who knows it!

Moan time!

I'd like someone to share the burden of homework with. It's always me chasing the DC's up and nagging at them . I like them to do a little extra over school hols, maybe 15 mins of workbooks a day just to keep their hand in, but my mum (and family) don't support me and have got quite ratty with me when I've tried to get them to help.

And now the dc's are back at school and a little rusty and noticing other children being moved onto high levels, I'd bet my bottom dollar they're the ones who have managed extra work over the hols. DS's writing has gone totally squiffy so I've got to sort that out too.

I'm far from a tiger mum, and there's always time for playing out, lego and cbbc, but the world is harder than it was and I'm terrified of what the dc's will come up against if they don't blitz primary school. My family have a breezy "oh but they're so bright" attititude and dismiss my concerns. I don't think it makes any difference if they're bright when other kids are also bright and putting a little extra work in over weekends and school holidays.

so I'm seriously considering getting an ipad for educational aps and sticking it on my mobile contract

Sorry for the whingy rant, I feel they're so vulnerable and just being bright isn't a guarantee of success anymore.

Well I did some numeracy work with ds over the school hols it may have paid off as he has announced he is 'at the top of the bottom table' in class lol.

As for reading he has gone right off reading at home to the extent where we now read two pages each a night from his class book or he wouldn't even pick a book up - such a lazy boy at the moment!!

He is top in spelling mind, so at least that is one thing we don't need to keep on top of!

lush well done your DS and you! It's relentless though isn't it.

I didn't get an ipad (today). However I can add one to my phone contract for £35 a month, not cheap but maybe it's worth it and do-able. I'm going to mull it over for a while.

I did buy DS 2 new workbooks instead though. I'll bribe him with choc buttons to do some this week.

Why not give stickers instead Meglet? Ds loves getting stickers lol.

Ive tricked dd into doing some numeracy by letting her play games on the tablet she thinks shes just playing games.

I was going to get an Ipad for dd and I to share but tgere so expensive arent they, I couldnt afford it so I make to with Galaxy Samsung tablet and the google play store.

I still haven't heard from any other the interviews I went for im trying to remain positive but I keep thinking how better of we would be financially .I cant stop thinking about it im driving my self insane !

• any of the interviews.

just checking in to say hi/whine. im exhausted! dh had dd at the weekend, and it seems he had all the fun (and sleep i hear) while when she gets back to mine she reverts to being a little madame and constantly getting up at night. its habit i think. she is 3 now, and her behaviour has worn me down, every single thing is a fight. the defiance is unbelievable. i have made a docs appointment for next week as ive been feeling really down and like i can't cope. i keep meaning to ring someone at night but when she goes to bed my head is so sore and i can't do anything. its so hard isn't it at times.

Hi howto oh I hate that when their little angels for other people, a joy to be around. And then they come home to us full of tantrums. Does she go to nursery ? My dd's (5 nearly 6) behaviour completely changed when she started nursery. Its like she was run ragged at nursery so she couldnt be botherd birng naughty at home. Thank god :). Dd has calmed down a hell of a lot. So dont worry they do grow out of it. I know it wont mean anything now though

I always feel better after a good moan on here

she goes to preschool and is good as gold inside but drop off and pick off her behaviour is awful and causing me so much stress, in front of all the other mums too. it is good to hear they grow out of it,, i know they say not to wish their years away but i really do want her to be older because i am just finding it too hard. thanks :)

lush they sneer at stickers . I tried a few times but they weren't incentivised by them. I've got to the stage where pocket money and chocolate will see us through .

howto yes, the evenings are hard. I need quiet time before my evening can start IYSWIM. Mine are angels at school, but rarely at home. My 6yo DD is hard work so I know how gruelling it can be.

Im sure my dd is a teenager trapped in a 5 year olds body, today she did something naughty cant remember what but I told her it as wrong to behave like that. You know what her response was !? "Dont you dare talk to me like that mummy !" I was gobsmacked

lol im sure you were. when i tell mine not to do something she has started saying 'i can do ......what ever it is.... if i want!' the cheek.

Meglet im sure it is hard work if its still hard after 6 years! I was hoping dd would have been done with this when the terrible twos ended, obviously not. she is very very strong willed. right i can't keep my eyes open any longer off to sleep

It must be a girl thing !

My Mum had Dd (yippee!!!) from friday night to Sunday and apparently, she was as good as gold. Then Ds and I walked in and she turned into a little mare again. Ds says "see, it isn't me!" they fight!
Dd hates homework and reading school books (now), but will often read from our books at home. Ds is a bloody nightmare about homework. Thought he was improving his attitude being in 6th form, but no. No he is not!!

Hi all.

Ex and I went to stay with his family with DS a few weeks ago for the weekend. (He doesn't see DS enough for me to trust him to look after him). While we were there, he actually made a lot of effort. Wow, it is so much easier having a second person to help. But, I realised that actually I am doing a great job by myself. I was so proud of DS (9 mo) being so friendly to who are essentially strangers.

to all of us :)

Hi Solasum :) well done for being so civil and for being a great teacher to your Ds. YOU did that! no one else; you taught your son and he is being lovely because you taught him well!!

I wouldn't mind betting that your ex was making an effort because it was in front of his parents. I know, I know! I'm being a bit negative, but if he hasn't really bothered before...!

We are all doing a fantastic job!

Oh god im having such a crap day, ive just cried in the dentist (nobody saw though thank god).

Work has been so quite that they cut my hours yet again im worried sick I'm going to get layed of soon as theres just not enough clients, dd came home from school with a letter saying she had been naughty. The letter wants me to comment on the back of tge letter if shes bieng good or naughty at school. And then the "so we can help to improve your childs behaviour" . Shes never had a letter home before or had any problems since starting reception and year1.

Then in the dentist there was a father with his kids and you know what I thought ? Wouldn't it be nice to have someone else to help even just once to share all the shit.

Sorry for moaning/ranting.

Sorry that hardly makes any sense

Could I get on a train an just keep going and going ?

ive had to make a decision about me and DC moving house, DC didn't want to move but ive got bedroom tax (in a house adapted for disabled which we need) and im struggling financially.

we had a nice place offered but it didn't have any adaptations I was still umming and ahhing but Dc said she didn't want to move so ive eneded up giving in, not because she gets her own way, but because its too much for us both to cope with, a house move (one of many).

if I had someone else they could have helped not only in decision making but if we had moved, help with everything.

HATE being alone. we have no one in the world for us.

I want to share burdens, laughter, precious moments, love, DC deserves a good father, shes such a treasure.

for all of you. its shit isn't it?

and when others go on about their outings/family hols/romantic dinners etc etc.

That doesn't seem fair AnyoneForTARDIS the bedroom tax seems to affect single parents the most its realy unfair. Near where I live the council have had to build more 2 bedroomed houses as so many peoplr need to down size, a few years ago 3 bedroom houses were like gold dust but now there just empty.

Yes I know what you mean about sharing burdens or even someone to talk things through with of a night. Instead of lying awake stessing to yourself.

For you to.

I keep feeling like im sick of trying my hardest an getting absolutely nowhere. Every thing seems like such an effort at the minute. The last few nights when dd has been in bed ive just sat and cryed. The thing that makes me cry the most is thinking im always going to feel this way.

Does anybody else ever feel this way ?

yy miss totally empathise and agree with you.

this is defo not the life we thought wed have is it?

Our dcs are the important thing to us and we just want them to have the best life poss yet I don't know about you but I feel guilty that I KNOW Im trying my best to my abilities but as you say, one step forward, 10 steps back.

DCs quite happy in herself most of the time so why the guilt?

I know Im never going to meet anyone (for many reasons) and I should accept that, DCs not the end of the world without a father, but.....

Gosh this threads depressing isn't it?

But misery loves company. or maybe even a .

Haha yes it is a bit depressing but I always feel a bit better when ive talked on here :) so your right misery does love company

and OP, yes, absolutely get about 'friends' not understanding.

the very few ive got are all with some sort of partner/support and just don't 'get' it.

we cant expect them too, we at least here can understand being in the same boat (the Titanic!!) but its frustrating all the same. thanks for starting this thread, its good to share the burdens even if its only online!