Fed up with not having anyone to share the burdens with.

[Solo]

Bit of a self pitying thread really, but it's taken me a very long time and I can now say with conviction that after being on my own for so long...

I am fed up with the burden of being alone.
I am fed up with struggling on my own.
I am sometimes lonely.
I have no single parent friends or single friends at all and my 'social life' ha! what a joke is visiting my widowed Mum or visiting my Brother.
I miss my Dad terribly.
I can't get a job.
Not one 'friend' has spoken to me so far this summer holiday (except one that lives on cloud fluffyland in her mansion and that really cheers me up because shopping is her passtime!).

I could write a very long list of problems and yes, I know we all have problems, but I just don't want to do it on my own any longer, I don't want to face the problems on my own :( I could cry right now and need a real 'man hug' and I don't care who knows it!

50 SoG? where? I haven't read those yet what are they like? juicy?! will get around to them one day.

I think I have forgotten what to do with a man now anyway.

So, how are you all? Dc's back at school yet? My Dd went back today to year 3. Ds starts in 6th form tomorrow properly. I have much to do. :)

I went on a date last night. (I know there is a dating thread, but I feel more at home here). He was a very nice man, 3 kids, but had always been overseas when they were little, and seened a bit naive about how kids work iyswim. He has lots of hobbies and is quite high powered, and it felt a bit silly saying 'Well I used to do... but now outside of work I am mostly at the park'.

Not sure I am ready for dating yet. But my head says if I am going to have a chance of more children, I need to be a bit practical about it.

I think you will find Solasum that many men will act naive about children as if they are mature they will have forgotten and if they have some it will also depend whether they have ever been hands on.

I dated someone who had had children and although he was tolerant of me having one he had done it when he had a drink problem so he didn't show much of an insight.

The other thing is even if they haven't had an addiction problem the fact they are an access father means they will be bogged down with their own issues about access - so unless things are running quite smoothly on their side in terms of access - then they will have little or no understanding of single parenting. A lot of them just think we are lucky because we see the children all the time.

This is why I have decided to forget about dating men until my son is 15 which is ages away as I just don't have the patience and willingness to adapt around their lack of insight and empathy. If even the wives can't understand it then what hope is there of somebody else's ex getting it as in general men can be quite selfish and emotionally shut down.

It is easy for me to postpone any dating attempts until my son is older as I am too old to have any more children!!

I hope I haven't depressed you Solasum perhaps you can adapt around their outlook and to patient and tolerant but I know I can't. Every man sees things from his own standpoint or angle. It maybe depends how tolerant you are towards men's limited insight?

Having said the above like I say I can't think of anything all that encouraging to add so I apologise if this all sounds quite gloomy but this has been my experience of dating men. I hope you DO find a nice one that you can get along with Solasum and that you get a larger family and your wishes granted. Perhaps someone will come along who paints a less gloomy picture I hope so!

My dd started year 1 on weds. Glad to be back in a routine now :)

Im feeling more positive ive joined a gym, applied for 8 jobs I hate my job so badly need to quit but I need the money, going to redecorate dds bedroom next week and just generally try my best to be more happy. Easier said than done I know !

I'm actually chatting via email a widower with 3 children!! but I'm very suspicious!

Good on you miss for joining a gym. I wish I could still go :(

marking my place to catch up. I've just completed another OU course and handed my essay in. Now to MN binge and watch TV again!! wooo!

Thumbs up Meglet! :)

well done meglet

How are you all doing ? Im having a rubbish night feel a bit down. A few things have wound me up/upset me involving "family" members also dds arse of a father has took his children from his first wife on holiday wich is very strange considering he pleads poverty to me and wont buy dd a single thing

Oh well she would miss me too much any way !

Im still sticking to the gym by the way, had a session after work today, picked dd up from school then mowed the front and back lawn.

Ive been walking like a tin man for the rest of the day

I'm here miss; going to sleep in a mo, but I'm 'listening' so you aren't entirely alone. Well done on the achievements and booooooooo! to your ex. He's not worth wasting energy on.

I have found a yoga video (ancient!) to put on twice a week once my energy levels are more on a level. Even if I just do 20 mins. twice a week it is a start.

Am just catching up from a sleep deficit that ran on most of August from the stress of having no ex to help this year so it was hard on me. On the positive side ds is standing on my back every night for 20 mins. to aid relaxation which appears to help the quality of my sleep quite a lot - perhaps I should hire him out he has quite a knack at untieing any knots in my body! I wear a swimsuit and lie on the bed and (he is 9) he quite enjoys climbing on to help bless him ....

Aw! Lush your Ds sounds lovely! :)

I want to try to do my old Callanetics videos when I have more room to move in my house! I'm decluttering right now and boxing things up so that my house can be rewired. I'm tired out, but need to keep going.

How is everyone else doing?

Everybody is OK then? Good!! :)

Has everyone gone?

Nope. Too much work!!

Im here :)

Hope you are all Ok?

Hi Lady and miss :)

Hi, Solo Yeah, just very busy. I work in the media so had to pull 80 hours last week because of the neverendumreferendum. How are things with you?

Ive got 3 interviews this week im so nervous and excited ! Perfect hours too and more moey

Sorry too many grins but im so happy, just hope I get one of them so I can leave my soul crushing workplace that im in now.

Oh, that's excellent! Finger crossed

I started a new job in Feb. It's great but the hours are sooo long. I worked 79 last week

Good luck miss!
I've been looking for a local 20 hours a week job for a year now. Not claiming benefits, but I need an income and hours suitable for/around Dd. I also don't want any responsibility as such with a job; I've had my fill with that, so anything mundane...!
Lady 79 hours in a week is too much! I've done that and it's just knackering! I hope it's only now and again that you'll need to work such long hours!

Thank you just got back from one interview, the one I REALY want. Everybody was lovely and nice to chat to I could easily see my self working there.

79 is alot lady I bet you shattered.

solo 20is the perfect amount isn't it idealy id like that amount roughly but the interview I have been to today its 30hours and weekdays so ill have weekends of with dd. Wich is brilliant as no childminders I know of work on the weekend.

Sorry spellings awful. Im on a packed bumpy train

Good luck with it!!!