Fed up with not having anyone to share the burdens with.

[Solo]

Bit of a self pitying thread really, but it's taken me a very long time and I can now say with conviction that after being on my own for so long...

I am fed up with the burden of being alone.
I am fed up with struggling on my own.
I am sometimes lonely.
I have no single parent friends or single friends at all and my 'social life' ha! what a joke is visiting my widowed Mum or visiting my Brother.
I miss my Dad terribly.
I can't get a job.
Not one 'friend' has spoken to me so far this summer holiday (except one that lives on cloud fluffyland in her mansion and that really cheers me up because shopping is her passtime!).

I could write a very long list of problems and yes, I know we all have problems, but I just don't want to do it on my own any longer, I don't want to face the problems on my own :( I could cry right now and need a real 'man hug' and I don't care who knows it!

They'd never survive Flower!

I'm making an early new years resolution and if I write it down I might stick to it. To stop buying the dc's clutter. No more happy meals (once a month still means 24 extra bits of plastic shite in the house). No more poundland treats to buy myself time to tidy up / get a hair cut / for bribery purposes. And I am going to be strong in museum gift shops and only buy very good books and not be tantrummed into buying stuff.

Yes, the house is messy and the dc's have more stuff than they know what to do with . I need to streamline to books , lego and decent art materials.

We will be checking on you gstq :)

Update; I've bought no clutter. Have used Wii time as an incentive instead.

Hope everyone is having a productive, not too crappy week.

That's excellent news gstq :)

Hello I am new to single parenting and am just trying to figure it all out. I'm living with my parents at the moment but bringing up 3 DDs aged 8, 6 and 3 and finding I'm just not managing to get everything done.

Tonight I am having a rare night off working and feel a bit lost. Watching tv. What do you generally do on an evening once kids are asleep?

Welcome back to your almost usual name meglet :)

Hi Namechanger and welcome :) . Glad you've come along; it's not an easy journey, but it's less of a lonely one in here. What don't you get done? there's always something to do, but we all get by somehow.

My 8yo Dd tends to only go to bed when I do unfortunately. It doesn't help that she sleeps with me. If I were lucky enough to have an evening with the kids in their beds, then I'm sure I'd just be watching tv too.

Hi name. My dd isn't a great sleeper and she often sleeps in my bed. We tend to watch naice science or historical docs on BBC4. She might not go to bed but at least she's learning something .

I really don't get everything done either I'm afraid. I work 3 days a week and the kids never see their dad so weekends are out when it comes to catching up. On my 2 days off in the week I madly do errands, housework and a gym session.

I've got a list going - 2 of my DDs need new shoes and boots, DD needs an opticians appt and a haircut too and the little ones things need a massive declutter.

Today they have gymnastics for an hour so I will drop two of them off and then go shopping with toddler for an hour.

I'm extremely lucky as I have fantastic siblings who help me a lot, but I also work full time and feel like there are not enough hours in the day.

Managed to get gymnastics done and opticians. Went to hairdressers with 3 in tow and they had various boredom and tiredness strops and we left after an hour of waiting, no haircut.
No decent shoes in shoe place.

We are home now, DDs are sleeping/reading/playing whilst I sort out my bad, bad mood from having got nothing done and the stroppy hairdresser lady who was very slow and kept giving my bored DDs evil looks.

My brother is looking to buy a new house which just highlights to me how different our lives are.

Money was no object when married and now everything feels stressful. Trying not to be angry about it all.

That's a bummer name. I dread shoe and haircut times. Expensive and so much hassle.

DD went to a party this morning so me and ds went for a run. Now I'm tidying up and they're playing with mates. I've finally cleared Thursday mornings manky cereal bowls that had been turning into a scientific experiment on the work surface .

I think exercise is the key really. I've not had time to run at all since leaving H and have piled on the weight which makes me feel worse.

Have dragged myself out to the park with them now, and they are happily playing.

I was v lonely being married to a selfish H so this is better, but having a bad day or two at the moment I think!

I was never ever the jealous or envious type and I now I really resent people living in their own homes or earning good money. It's hopefully just PMT and stuff.

name exercise seems to smooth things over. I prioritise is above housework that's for sure . Forgive me for asking because I've lost track, do they see their dad at all?

Clutter update; I haven't bought the kids any tat all week. I'm using the Wii for bribery purposes.

Just seen another thread that has pissed me off (complicated relationship with 7yo dd). Like the op in that my dc's don't like childcare but they have to suck it up. And all the posters suggesting she 'love bombs' her dd one weekend really gets to me. As wanky as it is I know my dc's would benefit from love bombing but there isn't anyone to look after the other child while I do it. I tried to do it when we stayed with relatives but was huffed at by my mum when I wanted to take each child body boarding individually. Apparently I was being mean leaving one out . To be honest I did it anyway but had to make it quick and I don't think I'll dare ask again. I'm still a bit narked by the whole thing, it's so hard to even get my family to help in ways I know will help us.

Thought for the day; why does ticking things off my 'to do' list invariably involve spending ££££££?

I've sorted out holiday childcare, booked someone to fix the shed roof and put a deposit down on ds's birthday bike. Empty to-do list = empty bank account .

That's rotten meglet :(

I managed to get a lamp post in my blind spot today as I was reversing the car and damaged my bumper. So stupid! and expensive I expect. Not done much damage and the lamp post looks fine, but . I've had my car nearly 11 years and never done any damage to it before :(

My to do list is riddled with endless pressing mundane tasks right now. Not helped by the fact that I had some kind of gastric flu and was wiped out from Wed to Sun. Slowly on the mend but still finding life a struggle.

I really shouted at ds last night - he is 10 and constantly talks all evening he cannot keep quiet. He even talked a lot at the weekend when he knew I was ill - I guess they still don't really understand at that age. I lay in bed most of the weekend to be honest I am going to try and do this much more often as it really helped, apart from naturally getting up to do washing, cooking and washing up. I was too ill to go to any shops for food but we had enough in. So from now on until I feel more on my feet again I will spend weekends lying in bed it is really good for you I think as I am invariably flat out from 5 or 6 am weekdays until 9 pm. And all this over only one child!! I just don't understand it ....

Then again ds only sees his dad 4 times a year these days for a week each so no rest for the wicked. Plus I am knocking on a bit as I am nearly 52. Heh ho!

The constant poverty wears me down too. :(

My H is taking the 3 children this weekend, to his mums house, where he will not have to do any caring whatsoever. Their cousins will be visiting too, so DDs will have company, MIL and SIL will cook and do the kids baths etc. So H gets to sit on his arse.

I have school appts and hospital appt for DDs tomorrow, so it's a day off work for me.

Weekends we always go swimming, but H will not bother as he would rather be sat on his arse at his mums than take them anywhere. Doesn't pay a penny towards the children, and hasn't seen them in 5 weeks, his choice.

It's hard knowing how much they love him. It's a slog, isn't it?

Yep it is a slog and I only have the one child! Ds is very challenging with his behaviour at home with me and is not exactly a saint in school either!

Feeling a bit brighter now I have walked near some nice autumnal looking trees near a delish bakery and tucked into a large piece of carrot cake!!

It's the little treats that keep us going I find.

Totally agree. I've booked a haircut and a night out whilst they are away. Haven't done that in ages.

namechange he'll then claim looking after the dc's is a doddle.

I need a haircut actually

meglet - it's it just! So easy when you are staying with your mum on a weekend, or when you have booked a week off work to be disney dad. But not when there's homework or laundry to be done.

Treats are so much sweeter when we are not sharing them with lousy partners!

Flower we are the same age! :)

I need a haircut too but can't find the time to do it :(

I want carrot cake!!

Men are arses

Solo how is the ME these days? A friend has chronic fatigue syndrome like you so I do feel for you. She says the only time she has any significant energy is afternoons. So she spends the rest of her day getting dressed etc and then recovering.

Must be hard for you. Are you enjoying your job?

As for a relationship I don't think I will go there ever again I am too seasoned. I have lived with 4 men over the years. But nobody since ds was born and I threw the ex out as he got violent.

Men are too limiting and far too selfish. Apologies to any men reading this!

I like friendships with men and women. But I work at home and nobody has time for friends these days anyway .....