Fed up with not having anyone to share the burdens with.

[Solo]

Bit of a self pitying thread really, but it's taken me a very long time and I can now say with conviction that after being on my own for so long...

I am fed up with the burden of being alone.
I am fed up with struggling on my own.
I am sometimes lonely.
I have no single parent friends or single friends at all and my 'social life' ha! what a joke is visiting my widowed Mum or visiting my Brother.
I miss my Dad terribly.
I can't get a job.
Not one 'friend' has spoken to me so far this summer holiday (except one that lives on cloud fluffyland in her mansion and that really cheers me up because shopping is her passtime!).

I could write a very long list of problems and yes, I know we all have problems, but I just don't want to do it on my own any longer, I don't want to face the problems on my own :( I could cry right now and need a real 'man hug' and I don't care who knows it!

Hello MIL :) welcome and come on in; no need to stand on ceremony here!

I completely get where you are coming from! I went through this very thing with my now 17yo Ds and have been through it to date with Dd too. Kids that don't know any different, don't know any different. My Ds has had a few 'I don't have a dad' moments, but! and this is an important 'but' He. Has. me! as your Ds has you! you are his stable person, you are his been there for every monumental moment person, so please don't think that you are not enough! please!! 30/40/50 years ago, our Dc's would have been different and the only ones in the whole school never mind the whole classroom that didn't have their father there in their lives, but life has changed and we are no longer strange with 'unmarried mother syndrome' :) so hold your head high! I'll bet you'll find other single, lone mums at the school gate over time. In the meantime, you have us! and we all understand. So come and chat with us!

Teach your Ds a very important lesson too...that you are not ashamed, that you are a good and confident woman and mother. That you are strong! My Ds tells me that I am the strongest woman he knows. Whether or not I meant him to see that, I'm so glad he did :). Had he had me as his Mum 10 years earlier, I'm not sure he would have seen that as I was a different person. I'm very pleased he got the now me.

Hi myiron don't worry, you will meet other lp's at the school. It's hard to figure out who is and who isn't at first but after a while, and some playground chats, you get to know them. Tbh I know a few 2 parent families where the dad rarely appears and when he does he's a moody bugger, makes me grateful I'm doing it on my own.

Almost back to normal routine here. Roll on next week with school, swimming and Cubs all up and running.

Aghhh to weekends! All I'm doing is refereeing fights. DD pulled a chunk of ds's hair out earlier .

Just dropping in to put the thread in TIO. How are you all?

Just relieved ds is starting back at school today after the long long 'break' - what break is it after all! No holiday as usual over the school hols - funding endless childcare and life expenses.....

Always feel sapped at the end of the summer break. Two inset days this week so ds is only starting today again at school.

After a week or so I will feel less beleaguered and more bounce in my being again! Phew. :)

Hi Flowerpot wow! your Dc's have gone back even later than mine (last Thursday)!
No, I didn't get a holiday again either! I started a new pt job just as Dd started her summer break, although I did take 2 weeks in order to have some time with her.
Ds is still avoiding getting a job. We had a big row/discussion on Monday evening. He's driving me mad! he wanted to go and sleep under a bridge can you believe?! says he's done it before. I'm so annoyed, but it's so difficult to know where he is. If he says he's staying over with a friend, how on earth do you know for sure?!! he could start out there and just leave later. I know few of his friends and none of their parents; it's a tough situation. It stresses and worries me endlessly. He knows I love him, that I care about him and I want to know he's safe.
He's saying he's confused as to whether or not he wants to find his father. I say it's up to him.
Why is life so difficult.

Hi Solo it is easy for me to say as ds is only 10 but as he gets older I won't let him roam that is when the trouble starts and you can't check where they are. I would ask for the parents' landline number and make sure I have met them but that said I have not got into that age group yet so I am not in the know.......

I guess I will just keep a very tight watch on ds and not let him have too much freedom unless he earns it by maintaining contact with me and I have met who he mixes with plus their parents to check they are normal.

I will buy him his own i phone next summer in readiness for secondary school and if he wishes to stop by various friends just make sure I have met them or at the very least go and pick him up after and introduce myself to them for future occasions. If they are the wrong sort I won't let him go round to them as ds is very easily led....

It must be a worry as ds has no real father either and lives over 100 miles away from him although sees him for a week 4 times a year....

I'm going to get mine chipped. I would if it was legal

Perhaps put them on a tag as if they were on probation eh lol.

I wish it were that easy Flower :( they want their freedom, they don't want to be embarrassed by their 'over protective, nagging' mothers. I never let Ds do what he wanted either, but he's 17 now, so what to do?! the only saving grace is that he is anti drugs, got drunk once and won't touch alcohol now and won't smoke (tried it once).

I would chip them too if I could!

Pleased that there are no substance issues Solo. One worry less for you.

It is Flower. My laptop is dying, so I hope to be back soon. Keep posting!

Happy weekend everyone. Hope its a quiet one (in a good way). We're having a much needed lazy morning, I'm waiting to see how the labour leadership pans out, then hopefully a family bike ride later. Then some homework and batch cooking with allotment surplus. Rock 'n' roll.

Hows it going?

Been braindead this weekend so resting a lot upstairs in between neverending housework tasks while ds is playing on various gadgets and interrupting me whenever he is hungry or thirsty!

Looking forward to an hour of Corrie on the box tonight - we both are.

Family bike rides aren't quite as much fun as they should be. DD screeches about anything and ds has got a death wish silently overtaking either of us with no bell.

What did you get up to solo?

flower I'm glad someone else retires to their room..We have an open plan downstairs so the dc's tend to take over with playing and tv. I don't have room for a chair in my kitchen so I head to my room with a cuppa when I need a break.

Oh dear! :( I am brain dead every day . I too spend a lot of time in my room, when I ought to be doing the house; tidying etc.

My Dd learned on her friends bike how to ride this summer, but her bike is stuck behind stuff in the shed, so hasn't done it since. My own bike needs repairing and probably new tyres, and I haven't ridden it in nearly 20 years! I feel sorry for my kids having me as their Mum in lots of ways and I do wonder if I should never have been granted the gift of them :( not just for their sakes, but for mine too. I do love them with all my heart, but it's been such a hard life for all of us...

Anyway, enough wallowing.

On Saturday, Dd had dance, followed by a party and far too many sweets, then onto another (family) party ~ so a busy day. Sunday I did very little. Got a quote for repairs to the flat roof which was a pleasant surprise. Dd had swimming in the late afternoon and I cooked dinner for the two of us. Ds is hardly here these days :( and I miss him.

Excuse my language but wanky arse shit and poo . The tories have just passed the bill to cut working tax credits. Entitled split tossers.

I'll have my dinner and return in a less sweary mood now I've got that off my chest.

That should read spoilt tossers.

I agree with you entirely

Let's hope that Labour get back in in another 5 more years as they care a lot more about single parents and those on low/middle incomes than the Tories do.

It will be interesting to see how Corbyn pans out. I don't think he can win 2020 but I hope he goes round kicking backsides and raising awareness of the divide between the haves and the working-hard-but-will-always-be-have-nots.

Sometimes I despair at the 'I'm all right jack' attitude of some people. What really worries me is that if bloody ukip grab dissected tory votes again. And going by some of the racist shit I hear from acquaintances it wouldn't surprise me.

Gah, For the love of God disaffected. Bloomin' auto correct.

I like the dissected tories :) best thing that could happen imo...cutted up tories!

Yes, it feels very scary. I don't know how they sleep with no worries about how to pay the bills or buy food or school uniform.

Solo the Tories have never once been in an ordinary person's shoes so wouldn't have a clue as to how hard it is earning at the lower end of the financial pay spectrum.