Fed up with not having anyone to share the burdens with.

[Solo]

Bit of a self pitying thread really, but it's taken me a very long time and I can now say with conviction that after being on my own for so long...

I am fed up with the burden of being alone.
I am fed up with struggling on my own.
I am sometimes lonely.
I have no single parent friends or single friends at all and my 'social life' ha! what a joke is visiting my widowed Mum or visiting my Brother.
I miss my Dad terribly.
I can't get a job.
Not one 'friend' has spoken to me so far this summer holiday (except one that lives on cloud fluffyland in her mansion and that really cheers me up because shopping is her passtime!).

I could write a very long list of problems and yes, I know we all have problems, but I just don't want to do it on my own any longer, I don't want to face the problems on my own :( I could cry right now and need a real 'man hug' and I don't care who knows it!

solo the pressure we get put under is bloody ridiculous isn't it. When did you start in your job?

Not had anything weird happen so far but have deregged and set up new email and mn name after this week's hoo-haa.

Just cut my leg shaving. That'll teach me to rush

GSTQ ( "who are you?" ) I started mid July, had 2 weeks (30 hours) on the job training, then dropped in at the deep end, except that I had 2 weeks off directly after the training to spend with Dd, so came back and had to try to remember everything. Today was better for some reason, but yes! the pressures are enormous!

solo I'm the one you bolded in your previous post.

Glad yesterday was better. I struggle to remember stuff at work and I've been there for a few years. I worry I'm going to turn into one of those older people who panics about 'change'!

I'm really quite fed up with summer now. The dc's need a month max .

Oh, my name was because I was listening to the sex pistols when I was out running yesterday. I'm not an Express reading commemorative plate buyer or anything .

Ah! so you must be Flying then?!

I often read this thread, but never post really. Just wanted to shove my head round the door and say hello

Feeling a bit weepy tonight. Don't know why. I'm sure I'll get over it by tomorrow

AmI :( ((hugs)) to you . Don't be alone feeling like that or not, come on in and join us. We all feel weepy/lost/lonely and sometimes downright angry at times. It's a tough lone parent life isn't it?! it's a tough job, but we can hand hold...actually, I need a hand hold too. I might find the courage to tell you all why sometime soon.

there should be a law against rainy summer Sundays. The dc's have been fighting like two particularly nasty honey badgers and paying no attention to me .

I'm doing my best to avoid talking to them now because I fear my blood pressure is at risk .

school hols should be a month, max.

now I see who you were/are gstq sorry!!
We've had a nice day here today, but yesterday was pouring a lot of the time. Horrible when kids fight! my Ds decided to pull Dd's plaits tonight, just as I was leaving her at my Mums for the week. She was already upset at me leaving her, so the hair pulling was not taken well by me. She's 8 and he's 17!!!

Ladies I have a lump in my breast. I feel vulnerable and lonely. It's probably nothing, but it's being taken seriously and I'm at the breast clinic later in the week. Please pray for me/cast a good spell/dance naked under the moon or whatever else might be helpful.

Rightly or wrongly, I told my Ds tonight. He's very upset, worried and tearful and as much as I didn't want to tell him yet, I needed him to know that I'm a human being and not just his skivvy. I hardly see him these days and he's no bloody help to me unless he wants cash. He told me (tearfully) that he does nothing but slag me off and bitch about me but that I am his world and he doesn't want to lose me. In a way I feel terrible for telling him when nothing has been found yet other than the lump, but I also feel that maybe this is a wake up call for him.

oh solo. sorry to hear that. hang in there til next week, they've got you in the system now so whatever is going on can be investigated. It probably is a wake up call for your ds, sometimes kids need them ((hugs)).

I had years working my way through the smear test system so I remember that cold fear when they want you back in. everything was ok in the end but it's overwhelming at the time.

I'll say some prayers to whatever God is listening and send good vibes your way .

Thank you :)

Very quick update. The mammogram is clear! :)

excellent!

:)

So pleased for you Solo. Well done - great news!

Feeling haggard and burnt out by now having had ds entirely alone as usual for the whole of the school summer 'holidays' funding full-time childcare so I can crack on and work hard as per and going without a foreign holiday and a decent car as usual! Mine is something of an old banger although I do remain grateful I at least have one. Luckily ds is off to his dad for a whole week later this p.m. so sanity will restore somewhat!

It does not help matters feeling a bit PMT-ish and sleep deprived from it but this too will pass. :)

Nearly over ladies!

flower the nice man in sainsburys, who watched the dc's mucking around and ignoring me, said this stage of the holidays is like the twilight zone.

Mine have been disgraceful the last 24hrs. No bribery or telling off is working. I'm currently hiding in the kitchen to calm down.

Flower have you name changed? or am I officially crackers?!! probably!

I am trying to find cheapish swim training aids for Dd...

solo is your dd 'stuck' with learning to swim? I'm not sure how old she is or if she has any SN?. Mine have lessons but never got anywhere until I paid for a couple of private one to one lessons (around the age of 5) then it clicked. We're able to book ad-hoc lessons as and when they're needed (£15 a time) so it's not too cripplingly expensive. Once they made that jump they moved to the harder classes where it's constant deeper water swimming. No fannying around in the shallow end anymore.

It was something that I struggled with for a while because I couldn't teach them well on my own. Lots of kids overtook them at one stage and it was leaving me feeling like a useless LP.

I got the school shoes put today to start cleaning them. Roll on autumn term, my spirit, and house, are almost broken!

Gstq no, Dd is an excellent swimmer, but I've recently had to change her club due to me working now and the new club want her to have fins, buoy, float and hand paddles. Loads more £'s :( . Sadly, I bought her fins for the other club and she wasn't allowed to wear them and now they're too small. Typical!

Blimey, I didn't realise some clubs required them to have all that equipment.

Going to do some gardening and a roast dinner today. I've got a gazillion allotment potatoes to use up so I'm going to make as many roast spuds as I can fit in the oven.

You could freeze par boiled spuds too. Bag them up in (your) family sized portions and then just take out and roast!! my Mum used to do this.

Hellooo - Christophe here under a new name!

Sorry I have been so quiet - must catch up all that's been going on but the holidays have wiped me out and, awful to say, looking forward to the routine of school kicking back in (DS doesn't like being out of a routine and DD loves to wind him up something chronic so last few days have been fun fun fun!)

Hope everyone is doing okay and the holidays have been kind to you all.. back in a bit

solo i'll try that with a few test spuds.

stoplaughing mine have been terrorising each other non-stop. It's mainly 7yo dd causing it but ds gets so fed up he usually ends up walloping or kicking her back.

Gstq my Mum used to put them straight into hot oil from the freezer; spits a lot, but they were delicious!!

Hi stop :) nice to see you!

I know this thread has been running for a long while so I hope it's ok to pop in...
Ds is starting reception in just over a week and I'm dreading it. I'm going to miss him so much (even though I'm constantly tired, stressed, fed up, ect, ect...). I'm also sad that he only has me for these massive life/growing up moments. I don't know anyone (how is this even possible?!) in my position, and the few people I've spoken to during the holidays have been talking about their partners/husbands taking time off to be there for their dc starting school. As usual ds has only me. It's making me even more than usual weepy and very anxious.
I just feel so bloody sorry for him and me.