Fed up with not having anyone to share the burdens with.

[Solo]

Bit of a self pitying thread really, but it's taken me a very long time and I can now say with conviction that after being on my own for so long...

I am fed up with the burden of being alone.
I am fed up with struggling on my own.
I am sometimes lonely.
I have no single parent friends or single friends at all and my 'social life' ha! what a joke is visiting my widowed Mum or visiting my Brother.
I miss my Dad terribly.
I can't get a job.
Not one 'friend' has spoken to me so far this summer holiday (except one that lives on cloud fluffyland in her mansion and that really cheers me up because shopping is her passtime!).

I could write a very long list of problems and yes, I know we all have problems, but I just don't want to do it on my own any longer, I don't want to face the problems on my own :( I could cry right now and need a real 'man hug' and I don't care who knows it!

Hi IFR :) glad to have you join us here :) it's a safe place to say what you need or want to say!
It's strange because my Ds always says that we have such bad luck and that things always go wrong for us...he's right, but I just try to plod on.

I can see why you'd be tempted by the Match man, but if you aren't that type, then you won't be able to. I couldn't if I didn't fancy him either. No judgement from me though :)

ifancy no judgement here either. wishing someone or something could wipe out most of the stress and money worries is normal imo.

How are you all?

Well she's had the baby. My dd is very happy. I've faked excitement best I can.
Now going for a shower so I can cry

You fos, are a star! you should be very proud of yourself and I must say, a far better woman than I. Be kind to yourself. (((HUGS)))

Thanks Solo - wearing a mask at work today.......one of my co workers/friend had her baby yesterday too, so I'm concentrating on her and her lovely news instead. Inside I feel crushed, but it'll pass, all things do x

:)

Hi guys I have only read the 1st few but will continue to read slowly thru. I just wanted to add my piece. Single mum since April technicaly (but broke up in October ly) two dcs 1and 4 I'm really struggling.. I'm so so lonely it hurts like hell every single day. Ive done the online dating thing met someone amazing had a few weeks of happiness and was able to be a girl again with him. Then he just randomly went off of me and we broke up yesterday. So I'm back to square one again... I am positive I'm unloveable as Ihave no family support mum comes to help sometimes and I see her a lot but only on her terms and she doesn't really actually like me. All my so called friends are busy and always cancel or I just don't hear from them unless I make the move which is just embarrassing and makes me feel even worse. Not to mention.constant abuse from ex dp he's a real nasty piece of work.
I'm so lonely and so sad ????

Edgar don't! :( how sad you sound...we understand. It is so very lonely at times and it does take some getting used to, but it will come. On occasion, you will still get the loneliness, but it lessens over time. I highly doubt you are unlovable either. If you are, then I am too and I refuse to accept that! the right man will come along at the right time but right now is not the right time. I have told friends over the years that when they have found themselves single again, they should find out who they themselves are before looking to fill the gap with another man. Often it's taken several years and several failed 'relationships' for them to do it though, but when they do, it's very fulfilling for them.
Do be kind to yourself. It's hard being alone, but there are often advantages too!

Oh Edgar internet dating is the weirdest experience I ever had, and I never even got a date! I think I put it on here, but if not I write it again!

I put a brief profile on with no pic.

Bloke 1 - contacted me, all chatty, friendly, having a laugh. He sent his pic - nowt special so sent him mine and then got the reply 'oh well up at 4 for work tomorrow' and nothing since (and he was nowt special !)

Bloke 2 - again chatted and. Laughed and joked for nearly an hour. Asked for pic, sent it and......radio silence! Half an hour later I sent 'am I that bad?', reply, 'you're not my type' - well up yours mate!!!!
Bloke 3 - said he didn't want to see a pic for ages, said it was more about what was inside (faints!), wasn't the best of looking but lived that far away wouldn't have worked but was happy to chat which we did for 2 months.......in which time I realised that he'd lied about the amount of boozing he did, he wasn't an artist per see, just did his craft but sold about 1/year and did nothing else, was very bitter towards ex wife, and his hobby was his home made tattoos......all of which made me a bit but just mates so ok.........until the night he was drunk on line and said the classic lines 'you don't hit women, they're not worth it - lol' and refered to the Jeremy Clarkson producer as 'some f'ing foreinger'......nice!

Bloke 4 - mum and dads next door neighbour tracked me down via face book, asked me out. Turned him down as LDR has gone from 'let's cool it and be friends' to 'I miss you and can't wait to see you' (reasons for this) so he said that's fine - can we just be mates? So we texted - him initiated every night, started out just laughing, then over time he kept scewing the conversation to sex so I'd scew back.....final straw being he suggested I listen to Pulps song 'Pencil Skirt'.....so kicked that one into touch......which has made visiting my parents interesting now but I just think 'his problem!!!!'

So I know how crap those sites can be (I refer to it as looking for a diamond in dog shit!), and often on chat you get whole threads on crap t'internet dates! (And I'm really not that bad looking, no Disney princess but told by my mates I'm no frog either!)

So we do understand on here - vent away, about anything, we don't judge, just hold your hand and pass the wine, cake and flowers on because we know how bloody hard it is on all levels.

And talking of which - the AIBU thread on tax credits has shown some ignorant so snd so's yet again, I left it days ago so I could keep my blood pressure down!!!!!

And got the 1st nice text from the ex with regards to the gifts my daughter took for her new half sibling. I think the OW sent it rather than him - not this style of writing, but surprisingly I felt touched by it!!!

I can't cope with bedtime. DS is great but since Tuesday night has refused to go into his own bed and scre

Argh

and screams non stop/gets out of bed.

I had a work do on Tuesday til about 6pm so he was at my parents and ever since he's been horrendous at bedtime!

I get so wound up by this, possibly because I don't know how to deal with it as he's been quite good til now. End up getting very angry and upset and trying not to fricking cry.

Is like Groundhog night. He had a 10 min nap today and is shattered but refuses to stay in his bed.

Took me aaaaaaages to get him out of my bed and would rather he doesn't go back to that bit kot sure I have much option.

catching up. Just survived a few days staying with family (should have lurked on the stately homes thread for support!).

will read and come back later.

Hi all. Wishing you well for a good weekend!

my house is a mess . I know that as soon as I start to tidy the dc's will start scrapping.

(((hugs))) op haven't read all of thread yet. Tired of being a breadwinner, mother, cleaner, entertainer and all round problem solver, diyer.

Then wheelycote, you are in the right place!! dive in :)

Can I have a totally in stealth boast here please? I am so, so proud of dd. this time last year I was in a tizz about her new school. Without being tutored she'd scraped a place at the local grammar. Both her and I were told she was lucky/didn't deserve to get in as she'd only just passed. I told dd to take it as a challenge rather then get upset over it although inside I was worries as hell incase she'd sink under it all. When she got there we discovered there were other kids there in a similar boat - they weren't all kids who's parents were far more monied than us (and some lone parents also) - the open evening and test days made me feel so inadequate with I know I shouldn't but sometimes it's hard not to when you turn up in an old car surrounded by range rovers and BMW's all that have personalised plates on them .....
Anyway - every day she's come home from school to an empty house, cracked on with her homework and........she's soared!!!! Her end of term report was lovely, saying what a great personality she has as well as being a good student.......and the icing on the cake? We have been invited to prize giving as she is one of the top 6 girls in the year!!!!! I'm so, so very proud of her for all she has done. I know it's only year 7, but when so many people were negative towards her achievements last year she's fought back and proves them wrong. I cried when I opened the letter - after all that has happened recently it made me feel some how validated, but no one seems to get it - all they have said is 'congratulations, well she is a bright kid' as if it was expected!
I haven't had many people I can say it to, and if I put it elsewhere they'll be someone saying I shouldn't brag and that I'm making it all about me when I'm not - so can I put it on here? I know you'll understand what I mean

MASSIVE congrats to your dd fos . sounds like she's hit her stride.

Fos that's fantastic! well done little fos!!

My Ds also just made the grammar school pass mark. His life was made a nightmare and he sank instead of swimming due to bullying. He did pass all his GCSE's, but he didn't get good enough grades to stay on there at 6th form even if he'd wanted to (which he didn't). He did 2 out of 3 AS exams this year and flunked them both. He's lazy and rarely 'had homework' . But I love him and am proud of him....so you must be flying!! :) :) . I'm so pleased for you both!!

At least he kept going despite the bullying Solo - that takes commitment (I remember a call I got at work once from a lady who's sons had lied to her about college and it's very serious implications for her and could have cried with her). Did he manage to get anything sorted out re electrical work - did I remember right that he wanted to look down that route ? - sorry of I've got that wrong!!!

Can I just say, looking back to the first post you made Solo this thread is almost a year old now - and you know what? Despite all of our ops and downs, we've all survived another year! Might not have been easy at times and we may have cried now and again, but bloody well done to all of us - and thank you Solo for launching this thread - cheers!

Fos he wanted to get an apprenticeship in car mechanics, but true to form, he didn't listen to me and left applying until it was too late. He now needs a job to tide him over until next year when he can start applying for apprenticeships in his chosen field. He'd happily do nothing for a year, but I can't keep him on nothing!!! so he'll need to get himself sorted out!

Is it really a year?! :) yes, we are still going aren't we? still surviving somehow!!

Still surviving here too .

Summer hols have been a bit odd. Lots of the street seem to be away at the same time so ds has lost a few of his buddies for a while and is at a bit of a loose end playing with the tiny kids. He's such a social kid I feel quite sorry for him, I'm hoping his friends are all back next week so they can get some football and Nerf in before school goes back.

That's a bit rubbish meglet :(

I'm really struggling at work and to cap it all, I've done two hours unpaid overtime this week and still not done enough work and the boss has booked me in for 'a chat' next week...think I'm in for a "this isn't working out" conversation, which is pretty crap considering I have so much to learn still and no one to teach me one to one now. My ME will kick me, I just know it and I'm tired, so haven't done anything more than the laundry and a little ironing and made sure I've eaten properly in the evenings. Took Dd to swimming club tonight, but had to take her back to my Mums and Dd cried :( she never cries ~ ever!! she misses me, bless her. I miss her too :(

I'm sorry for all the moaning etc. I am not coping here.

How are you all? hope you didn't get stung by Jeffrey.