Fed up with not having anyone to share the burdens with.

[Solo]

Bit of a self pitying thread really, but it's taken me a very long time and I can now say with conviction that after being on my own for so long...

I am fed up with the burden of being alone.
I am fed up with struggling on my own.
I am sometimes lonely.
I have no single parent friends or single friends at all and my 'social life' ha! what a joke is visiting my widowed Mum or visiting my Brother.
I miss my Dad terribly.
I can't get a job.
Not one 'friend' has spoken to me so far this summer holiday (except one that lives on cloud fluffyland in her mansion and that really cheers me up because shopping is her passtime!).

I could write a very long list of problems and yes, I know we all have problems, but I just don't want to do it on my own any longer, I don't want to face the problems on my own :( I could cry right now and need a real 'man hug' and I don't care who knows it!

Just a quick dip in - will have a proper read later but just wanted to say:

I'M DIVORCED

The Decree Absolute came through today and whilst there is a tiny iota of me that thinks 'oh, that's a bit sad' the rest of me is fucking Over the Moon!

At last - I'm free of him completely!

BRILLIANT news christophe !

CONGRATULATIONS Christophe, such a relief to know you can exhale again - sod the mn conventions ((((hug)))) with a bucket of champers chucked in - even on a school night!!!!

Thank you so much ladies - the relief is amazing.. will obviously still have to deal with him for years to come as DC so young but he has no power over me anymore - it's liberating!

Fos I hope Sparkle is now home and safe again.. bit of an adventure for him/her! Both of mine have sentimental cuddlies from babyhood but I try not to let them leave the house as I dread this happening. So glad the hotel were all over it.

So its Friday and I did by myself a very low alcohol bottle of bubbles for toasting my freedom tonight. Other than that, not sure of plans. Anyone else up to anything nice?

Oh well done you!!! Chris bloody well done!

Still waiting for Sparkle......

fos. I'm sure he/she is on their way. They may not have posted it the same day. post seems to be slower these days too.

Does everyone feel like every day is groundhog day? All we do is the same bloody things, same school / work / activity / gym stuff all the time. Tbh none of it can be changed, it's probably because I'm doing it all.

I felt really shitty the other day chatting to other parents whose dc's do more activities than mine do, but they're all 2 parent families with a sahp . I thought about arranging weekend sports or drama but I often need those days to rest if me, or the dc's are poorly and run down. I can't be hauling us all out to another commitment. At least 2 parent families can juggle it.

I feel really crappy about everything today tbh .

Even though couples have invariably a much better quality of life than most single parents, I am quite sure they also think their days are groundhog days ....

They are just more spoilt than us!

I too feel I am on a relentless treadmill of work, school run, shopping housework and homework and then more of the same etc.

It is the isolation I can't take the most. Where I live 95 % of single parents have family support nearby as it is not a well travelled neighbourhood where many outsiders live, so I can't even achieve friendships of a weekend through no fault of my own! It really sucks. They just don't make time for you favouring instead to mix with their mothers and sisters etc. If I just had a couple of decent single parent women nearby to hang out with for even a few hours of a weekend it would make all the difference.

Hey ho.

I totally get the whole Groundhog Day feeling - never ending! My biggest bugbear is that until you're in the situation, you might think you know what it is like ("dh is away for a week with work and I feel like a lp" crap) but there really is nothing like it!

But - I also like the spontaneity of being the only parent at times (sucks at others) but other than the DC I have no one to have to run anything past. What we do is mine to decide, when we see, where we go!

So whilst it can be monotonous, particularly during the week, it can be so much better than having choices restricted..

I wouldn't mind being able to leave DS behind sometimes when I take DD to her swimming lessons as poor thing gets dreadfully bored. She also starts Rainbows this week after a year on the waiting list but that's it - that's all she does whereas some of her friends do stuff almost every night and have piano lessons etc. I favour quality over quantity - or at least that's what I tell myself...

In the meantime, there's always (although I don't even really drink when DC are with me, just in case - so perhaps instead!)

Just a quick update - Sparkle's back!!!!!!

Hurray!

Whoop

Hello all! Sorry I've not been about for a while; much to do here at home and I have been/am sooo tired...my ME is playing games with me and I've literally been falling asleep sitting down!

I feel the Groundhog Day pain too...:(

Dd's First Communion tomorrow! eeek!!

Glad to hear Sparkle is back :)

Catch you all soon :)

Have a lovely day tomorrow solo. Do you have a little get together afterwards? I only went to one First Communion as a child.

We've just eaten tea in front of the tv so I can catch the new royal baby coming out of the hospital .

On a money saving note I've been having success grabbing a few bits from lidl. Very good for store cupboard basics and laundry liquid. Got 24 packets of crisps for £1.50 today!

Thank you meglet we have had a great time! :) Dd looked beautiful!

I use Lidl every week. It's very good!

Congratulations Solo - bet DD had a lovely time!

I am more of an Aldi lover than Lidl but I very rarely shop anywhere else. I also cook quite a lot from budget cookery books - my current favourite is A Girl Called Jack who lived in food poverty for some time so mastered a £10 a week shopping list. I haven't whittled it down that far as my two are fussier than her son is but last week I only spent £38 which included treats and wine.. so pretty good!

Hope everyone is having a lovely long weekend. My two are with their father until this afternoon so I have a lovely few hours of tidying, hoovering, washing etc etc.. I do so wish I could afford a cleaner as I utterly loathe cleaning

But with the three day weekend, does mean I get to do something fun with them tomorrow instead of heading straight into Groundhog Week.. not sure what though as don't have piles of cash - you ladies up to much?

christophe glad you had a chance to catch up this afternoon. It does get a bit depressing when you get a break and the first thing you do is housework. I do the same .

tomorrow we're going to pop to the allotment and do homework, aka shout and bribe .

Not much going on this way. I was due to meet up with a single parent friend today, Bank Holiday Monday, but she has just come out of hospital as she has terrible health issues.

Got a ton of ironing to do and ds has to write out his homework that I have prepared for him. :(

Then I need to pop out and buy two tins of diet rice pudding - which are my supper every evening. Dear me what an exciting life I lead!!

It is good to be able to escape the ratrace for an extra day this weekend however.....

Aghhh, 6yo dd exploded again this evening. We were walking home from an activity and she flipped when I said she couldn't have crisps from the shop because we had some at home (10 min walk). She grabbed stones from a driveway and threw them at someone's window, dropped to the floor to lie in all the puddles, ran into the road, pulled her trousers down, bit me and threw stones at me. All this from a bright girl who is so good at school. It was so distressing dragging her home and rather hoping we'd get there in one piece .

It wasn't helped by work being ultra busy today and not having time to think. I've still got laundry to sort and backs to check and back for tomorrow.

Anyway, hope everyone else is ok. Weather is due to perk up next week apparently.

Meglet - big squidgy hugs... that sounds unbearably tough. Did she calm down once you were home? Some of those things sound quite dangerous like the running in the road..

I hope you're ok. Do you have much rl support - sorry if you've touched on this before. I obviously can't do much over a screen but am sending positive thoughts your way x

thank you christophe.. she took a while to settle at home. although once in bed she did stay there, she was shattered.

not much rl support. school don't have any problems with her and my mum fell for the paeds line that it was my parenting that causes dd's problems so I very much have to keep my mouth shut when I'm around her. although a few other parents know i struggle with dd and are non judgy .

roll on half term, I've got a week of unpaid parental leave booked so we can slow down a bit. seems pointless paying a days wages for a days holiday club with all the stress it entails, may as well take a hit in the pay packet and actually spend time together.

Hi I just wanted to mention that there is a site called Meetup - on there you can find groups of people doing a huge range of different activities in so many local areas. I joined one meet up in order to meet people outside my very small village - I joined a bookclub in the nearest town. I have met a really lovely bunch of people some of whom will become friends I am sure - and from a wide group - some much older, some much younger, some single, some in a couple, some working, some not. It has not particularly mattered to me - the main thing I discovered is that there are lots of lovely people out there with different lives and the potential to become friends. Books are my thing - but there are loads of meet ups out there - walking groups, bridge groups, all sorts of sports, cinema clubs, some dinner and dating groups... my commitment to that group is only once a month but it has made a big difference to me - I am doing something solely for me - nothing to do with kids, homework, clubs and the daily grind. I am so busy in fact I rarely read through the whole book ! But it has been great all the same. It takes a little courage to step into your first meeting on your own but it has been worth it.

www.meetup.com/
Good Luck all!

Thanks Paranoid - I've looked at that site before and you're right, there's heaps of different choices.. (books are my thing too ) I meant to delve further but then things changed at home but I must revisit! I live near some gorgeous outdoorsy bits so I must make an effort to get out there as I fancy doing a rambling club type thing. . Help me get a bit fitter too!

and Meglet - I honestly think you are doing an awesome job (and that you sacked that paediatrician off, what a wanker!) and I expect everyone says this - but she acts out with you because she knows your safe and will always help her and be there for her, no matter how angry and frustrated you get!

DD wet the bed again last night.. that makes every single Wednesday apart from one since she started staying with her dad on Tuesday nights.. I hope it doesn't mean she's scared being at mine or she's unhappy here. I mentioned it to a good friend who works with children and she said it might just be that she sleeps better at mine and so doesn't wake to the feeling of the toilet. Last night, she even slept through the actual accident and it was only when she woke up, she realised

Perhaps a bit TMI, but it took me a while to get dry at night but my accidents were always preceded by a dream where I went to the loo whuch then obviously translated into rl. DD says this isn't the case for her and, as mentioned, she can be totally oblivious to it.. just another one of those things - just be there and calmly help her through it!

Am off with her today actually as her school is closed for Polling Station duties so we'll have some fun this afternoon. I always vote no matter how disillusioned and am pretty sure mine would be considered a wasted vote - but I've had my say!

Right - off to Toys R Us as birthday season is approaching

fuck is all I can say this morning .