Fed up with not having anyone to share the burdens with.

[Solo]

Bit of a self pitying thread really, but it's taken me a very long time and I can now say with conviction that after being on my own for so long...

I am fed up with the burden of being alone.
I am fed up with struggling on my own.
I am sometimes lonely.
I have no single parent friends or single friends at all and my 'social life' ha! what a joke is visiting my widowed Mum or visiting my Brother.
I miss my Dad terribly.
I can't get a job.
Not one 'friend' has spoken to me so far this summer holiday (except one that lives on cloud fluffyland in her mansion and that really cheers me up because shopping is her passtime!).

I could write a very long list of problems and yes, I know we all have problems, but I just don't want to do it on my own any longer, I don't want to face the problems on my own :( I could cry right now and need a real 'man hug' and I don't care who knows it!

Never say never Solo - I doubt any of us decided to have children on our own, things change for everyone!

Saw someone the other day who didn't know me and exh had split. . she just kept saying 'but you were so happy!' the sad thing is, that we were or at least, I was! Never saw it coming. ..

Anyways - onto happier thoughts! DC gave me the most scrumptious 3-way cuddle earlier and have both, for no reason other than they are really feeling it, told me they loved me! It's hard and hideous and never ending but when you get it right - and we're our own harshest critics - but when we do, it's the best feeling in the world.. and you can take all the credit!

Not sure if that makes sense, but I know what I mean

Hi everyone - sorry it's been a while since I posted. Been at the gym most nights this week seeing as dd has been away whilst I've been at work, and I think it's working on the serotonin levels anyway (body still doesn't look great but I know - give it time!!!).

Hope Easter's been kind to everyonre out there - Christophe, how's things going now? And those who have had the friends comments, that is why I'm so glad this thread exists!!!!

I'm really beginning to miss male company - it's a different sort of chat you have with blokes, but I can't see that changing for the forseeable future, oh well......

Just seen the thread you started Solo - why is there always one......?

Hi fos :) glad you seem well!

Well, you may remember that I said I was in communication with a man...well, turns out he was yet another player. Thankfully I never did actually meet up with him. No serious harm done!

And yes! the other thread!! unbelievable!

what other thread?

ah, seen it now.

I'd be freaked out if I had a text like that too.

I'm even more freaked out as he's text again.

Why me?! I mean...I don't give out any signals at all...maybe he thinks because I'm single I'm desperate! well, I'm not! but I'm bloody angry!

Men like this do my head in too Solo - after all, you're not getting any younger, you must be SOOOO grateful that he's paying you some attention in his tiny mind

PS - I have a confession. I look at the relationships board sometimes to remind myself being on my own isn't necessarily a bad thing......

Oh and can I say this here because I can't say it in RL.

This internet dating stuff is crap. Over the weekend I've had 2 blokes message me with what looked like genuine 'Hi there, I'd like to chat' messages, both tailored to what I'd put, 1 actually localish. I don't rush to respond - I leave it a couple of hours just in case they're net fishing.

And the response back I've had despite them both showing as being on line? Nothing.

Pair of arses!!!!!!

fos yy, I remember how hard it was with XP and that I'm better off on my own . There's millions of people in shitty relationships, we are no longer part of that number!

Quick post but there's a great thread in Relationships called 'Out of interest, anyone else planning on being single forever' or similar (can't link, on my phone). It is liberating and highlights how many of us are out there and how much better it can be without an OH. Well worth a little read to remind yourself there are lots of worse things than being on your own!

Meglet - I can see you on there

christophe I was relieved that others on that thread said they simply didn't have the brain space and energy for another relationship. I'd have to drop some pretty essential stuff to fit one in.

Hello!

Thanks for that thread Christophe, I'll have a look at that next!

Well, mixed day today. We had a corporate briefing today. They announced who the new Head of the Department is. It's the bloke who smirked at me when he made me redundant from my last job. I went into shock in the meeting when his name came up on the screen (bloody powerpoint!) and in a whisper that was a bit too loud I said 'Fuck - no!'......and everyone turned around and looked at me. Which made me feel far, far worse - I've really marked my card now . I dread to think of the damage I've done. My boss (who's being made redundant was lovely and saw that I was in a state over it all) has worked with him previously (he used to work there many years ago, and I can't believe they've taken him back, it's not usual but I think I know why which is an even bigger concern if my gut feeling is correct) so he knows what he's like. I can't believe the turd who made a bad time into an horrendous one has followed me there. My old bosses who worked under him both hated him with a passion and when I spoke to the one who was still working with him up until his redundancy in March said that when the news came that he was out a massive cheer went up in the office and it's a far better atmosphere now he's gone.

And the funny bit? One of the 2 blokes emailed me last night. We swapped a few messages and he asked for a pic. He offered to send one of him 1st and then I sent one of me. His was full length (ok - didn't set any fires alight!) so Isent one of me. I don't have any recent full length ones so sent a selfie of my face. He made an excuse that he had to be up for work at 4, signed off and I haven't heard from him since - if I thought he was good looking I might have been offended - so I don't know if I'm just bloody ugly or he's worried that I'm too 'big', which makes me think 'stuff you mate!' (I'm a size 12 (on a good day)/14, not that it should make an ha'peth of difference)

Could anyone link the thread? I can't find it

This should be it fos......

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/lone_parents/2164178-Fed-up-with-not-having-anyone-to-share-the-burdens-with

Oh for hecks sake. I can't do links on my new phone . Bloody cut and paste being impossible to use.........

Wow! just... Wow!! such arses are men... fos I'm sure you are gorgeous and far too good for him anyway!

Not got time to get into another thread atm.

Dd's father rang her this evening. He's in the country for a week. Not seen her, won't be seeing her. I asked him about paying for her swimming club. He agreed to. I then asked him about paying for some extra tuition for her. He said he'd probably be able to do that for a short while. I said that I was sorry it was all about money and the cheeky git said he wasn't surprised as it's always about money!! . I'd be quite happy if he'd vacate his space on the planet! bloody cheek! He was talking to Dd about her going to visit him in the UAE. I think the closest I've ever got to feeling hate is with him in recent times .

Ds is very upset; one of his friends committed suicide at the weekend. 16 years old :( I have no idea what to do for him.

Ladies - sounds like tough times are ahead so plenty of and

Solo - I am, as always, so cross when I hear about such feckless parents/fathers! How dare your ex have no plans to are her despite being in the country & then get shitty about financially supporting her.. sounds like it is the very least he could do? Is he also DS's father? Presume he's got no plans to see him either!

I am so very sorry for your son's loss - utterly tragic that someone so young thought there was no other way I have no idea how you can help him through this - but you will. My heart hurts a little though!

And Fos - shit news about work... perhaps this is the opportunity to look into new things for you? I know work has been crap for a while so this is definitely not going to help... oh, and OLD dick - doesn't know what he's missing.. what a loser! Massive broad generalisation but men are so shallow.. I know they're not and some of my closest friends are male but ffs..

I had a bad bedtime with my two tonight - ended up having a mini cry and a little family cuddle to make me feel better. They are always unsettled and annoying when they come back from seeing exh but I just feel invisible - they don't listen or do anything they're asked.. incredibly wearing and I end up angry and then hate myself almost straight away

On the plus side - have just started watching Game of Thrones.. definitely living up to the hype!

Oh Solo - how crappy is that of your ex to your dd, I just don't get men, don't think I ever will, don't know if I ever want to. And so sorry to hear of your sons loss - he must feel so confused right now.

I remember those bedtimes Meg - the mumsnet 'this too will pass' comes to mind - and remember you only get so upset because you're a great mum who cares.

Well, day 2 of crappiness. Work was ok thank God - spoke to my boss again and he was great (again!), and nothing was said.

Only then xh brought dd home. And announced the ow is pregnant. I always wanted a 2nd child, but he was adamant no way - used to state 39 was to old to be a dad so no way would he let me have a 2nd. 51 apparently isn't to old to be a dad again. He's giving my dd the one thing I never will be able to - and at my cost.

Sorry to post my crap here again - but I know if I put it anywhere else on here I'll get a verbal kicking

Oh Fos - that sucks! Vent away as it sounds just shit an something I am personally just waiting to happen here too! I forget how old your DD is or how much time she spends with your ex (sorry) but have you asked her how she feels? I bet she's not looking at it like the sister/brother she never had...

Big hugs - it's another hideous bump in that road, but you'll get through it.

P.s - I am so glad you called her the OW.. I get sick of seeing on here that I should now call her his girlfriend, she's with him now blah-de-fucking-blah! She may well be but she will always be the OW who helped break up my marriage so fuck off.. ah, that feels better

At the moment she knows I'm upset (which I couldn't hide at all and feel bad for despite apologising constantly) but I told her to talk about it as much as she wants, and that for her yes it is a bi thing. She's excited at getting a half sibling (I only said on Monday I'm an only child - I won't be any more!) to sadness that he decorated her room last year and she'll have to give it up and go into the smaller room(nothing's been said but she's just accepted it. He also said about her visiting more which I don't think she's so keen on at the moment.

I worry about how our dynamics will change - and it explains why he didn't want to take time off in August to be with her - that's when it's due. My sister reminded me he left for the single life/freedom and now that's gone, what a poor father he was when at home and how he treated me like a skivvy after dd was born.......

My workmates have been great, very supportive, telling me I'm stronger than I realise. But I don't want to be strong. I want life to be good

If he was a crap partner to you when DD is small, he is going to the be the same if not worse now he is older and even more set in his ways..

It does sound like DD is excited and that's going to be really hard but I would hope it won't change your dynamic too much.. your home will still be her safe haven. If any dynamic will change it is his and hers - and probably not for the better..

What an arsehole though

Oh God - went away overnight to see McBusted in Nottingham, ended up with an upgrade on the hotel and stayed in the city centre rather than the outskirts, fab concert, brilliant time away.......come bed time dd has realised she's left her special bedtime soft toy. OK, she's 12, but said toy has always been with her, means security after everything that's happened. Rang the hotel and housekeeping isn't available until after 9am tomorrow....hope to God they've got her.......

Can't believe I didn't check

fos did the toy turn up? It's easy to forget these things.

Yes - thank God!!!! The hotel have been amazing. I rang up just after 9 and spoke to the lady in charge of the housekeeping team, said when we'd stayed, what room and before I finished she said 'And you left a teddy - it's hear, safe waiting to come home!'. They're going to post it back (even paying for the postage if it's below £5!) - so Sparkle should hopefully be with us soon - phew!

And after taking inspiration from the 'Did you meet your partner on line?' thread, yet again I have proved, no, there isn't someone for everyone! - another guy chatting and having a laugh until I sent a pic (thanks mate!) and another just stopped chatting for no reason - I didn't say anything offensive, honest! - I honestly have decided to give up with relationships, it's easier to be alone (and lonely). 6 years to pluck up courage and what - 2 weeks to realise there is no point (hardly any blokes live near me and those that do are either way too old, way too young or just way too weird - looking for a bisexual female for a threesome anyone????)